|Reviews for One Step Closer|
| EddingsFan chapter 1 . 6/3
Greetings! I love how you wrote this, Mustang in particular. It explains a lot, and it shows that he isn't just a heartless bastard.
Thank you for sharing your work! :D
| LunaBianca chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
I like these familial interactions between Edward and Mustang. They illustrate a bond of understanding and talent and grudging (silent) respect that, if examined (which it deliberately never is), reveals a gruff affection.
The Japanese titles add a nice touch, makes it easier for me to hear the characters speak.
| mabidiso chapter 1 . 12/26/2011
So brilliant that Roy is so aware of Ed's condition and that he's analysed each of his staff and knows exactly how to tailor his command for each one. It's beautiful that he gives Ed what he needs to move forward. Ed's denial at his thought of Roy being aware and providing that impetus intentionally is also beautiful, and so Ed, turning away from thoughts of someone other than Al caring and acting on his behalf.
| lokobookworm95 chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
I think that this is a cute story. What does Hagane mean?
| chibi sakura yuki chapter 1 . 8/14/2009
Brilliant, genius, etc, etc...
too many word, i can't write all of them to describe it..
| Tears of Eternal Darkness chapter 1 . 11/29/2007
that was really good. (just try not to use suffixes and other jap words) well done! cookie? *holds out Ed cookie jar*
| Novocain chapter 1 . 9/27/2007
*sighs* Ah, so very pretty. I especially loved Mustang's POV.
...I think I wanna get inside their heads, too. Damn you! You've started me on another fic!
| freres-toujours chapter 1 . 10/11/2006
I just added this to my favorites list, because that is one helluva character analysis.
| Mistress of Darkness chapter 1 . 9/30/2006
That was good! Very well written. I don't actually hear the tern Hagane used very often for Ed though... maybe its just me? Kudos on a good story!
| YoruAyame chapter 1 . 9/20/2006
I love the way you write! Great story.
| RedSheet chapter 1 . 7/4/2006
Wow! This... this was Something. I don't know what to say. Good frickin work:)) I love that fanfic
| Nando the RPS King chapter 1 . 10/31/2005
Excellent work. I think this capture's Mustang's leadership style pretty well.
| moothril chapter 1 . 2/19/2005
;_; Aww. I really like how manipulative, yet caring, Roy is in this one...
I keep telling myself, no, there is no Ed/Roy, there is no Ed/Roy...but all of these good fanfics are starting to convince me! Aghh!
| Petite Madame des Chats chapter 1 . 1/24/2005
WOW...wow. Amazing. Really truely amazing. I love it. You have written them so well...its real. I can see it in my head as I read.
I love the aggrieved cat part. The description fits him like a glove. You know, I have always thought of Ed as cat, he moves like one, not to mention the way he behaves. He is so feline...kinda like me. Random people have independently come to the conclusion that I was a cat in a past life.
Hey, do you think you resemble a particular animal a little too much? One of my friends is so a horse. She even flares her nostrils when she gets excited. Its quite amusing, to say the least.
Back to your writing...something more interesting than my random babbling. OH! Now I remember! One of my friends is a cricket. She bounces about like the crickets that hop about in my garden and she never shuts up. NEVER. She has never been silent for more than five minutes, even in exams. Hell, she even talks in her sleep. You get three minutes silence and she starts mumbling. As you can probably tell, I am a very good listener.
I talk waay too much for someone who never acuually tells anyone anything. I talk a lot so my friends don't worry. But when I talk like that, I say a whole lot of nothing and I say the same thing over and over and over and over just with different words.
Okay, no more babbling, I will tell you about your writing. You did Roy's thoughts very, very well. The second person perspective was well done, I didn't find a single mistake(I'm not know as the Grammar Natzi for nothing, so this is very high praise, believe me. If you don't, ask my friends. They'll set you straight).
The first paragraph of Ed's perspective is a little...rushed? The sentence is too long, and it doen't flow, like the rest of your writing does. Also, I would suggest redoing the bit in (brackets) because it doesn't flow right. It might be better re-writen, or perhaps if you edited it, adding puncuation but with out full stops or commas. Maybe something like this...
)His leg is gone Oh God his leg is gone PAIN! pain! Oh God the pain! Al is disappearing and he can't reachhim in time He can't reach him HE CAN'T REACH and his arm is being EATEN away But what doess he care! HIs Brother is disintergrating and it is All His Fault...)
You don't have to pay any attention to my opinion or suggestiong. Your work is wonderful anyway. just thought you might like to know my thoughts on the matter.
How troublesome. When I started writing this I was happy and bouncy and know I'm all sad and mopey. As you can probably tell, my moods swing faster than any pendulum on any clock.
Anyway, keep writing, I adore all of your FMA work, Its so in tune. it seems real and you can see it happening in your head as you read and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it. I don't feel gloomy anymore. Thankyou. I'm thanking you because thinking about your writing makes me all happy and writing this makes me think seriously about your work and now I feel all FLUFFY!...and pink. Nice!pink is good. Ugly!pink is bad. most pink is ugly, but there are a few shades out there that are nice. Like Shuiichi's hair colour. I want to dye my hair that colour. Or purple/violet. Kinda the same shade as the pink but purple? If you understand what colour I mean, I'll give you an imaginary cookie. Those are the best cookies, cause they are what ever size you want them to be3, what ever taste you want and you can eat as many as you want without getting sick.
Okay, now I'll say keep uo the brilliant work and goodbye for now, for real.
Keep up the brilliant work!
Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye!
| Hiro-tyre chapter 1 . 12/23/2004
Really quite awesome. There's just the barest hint of slashiness, but it's not bad. I like this.