Reviews for Dragonball New Beginnings: The Ammit Saga
Tepheris chapter 54 . 3/19
A Princess Bride reference? Loved it! I certainly am glad that I decided to stomach the Gary Stu-ness of Akira, otherwise I would have missed a thoroughly entertaining fanfic. You've also made Akira thoroughly distinct from Goku, so I must humbly apologize for the things I've said about you. You're anything but the sick, deprived individual I accused you of being in my review of chapter 28. Anyone who liked Princess Bride can't be all bad in my back. Maybe 'mostly bad', but certainly not 'all bad'.
I also approve of Krillin getting the final blow. It's about time the Krill-Master got a notch in his belt. The use of Trunks' sword feels like an allusion to the Saiyan Saga where Krillin has Yajirobe's katana ready to finish off Vegeta, only he was actually able to do so.
Tepheris chapter 45 . 3/19
Good job showing the tactical genius of Vegeta in battle. If you could consistently output such quality chapters, I'd rank your story amongst the gems the Neo-Z Fighter community endorses.
Tepheris chapter 28 . 3/19
….… …
….… ….… Okay, well, I called it. It was the only thing that made logical sense. Now I'm going to have to castigate you not for making a Gary Stu (at least not one that isn't canon) who defies logic, but for having a sick, sick mind. I was NOT expecting to encounter incest in a T-rated fic. What kind of a depraved mind does it take to create a pairing between a grandfather and granddaughter? I hope you're seeing a good therapist.
Tepheris chapter 24 . 3/19
The ship Goku took to Namek only took 7 days… but then again that was technically to Old Namek, I don't think that it was ever mentioned how long it would take to reach New Namek by spaceship.
Okay, so let me get this straight. Akira is able to learn in more or less a day a technique that took Goku (who was able to use a Kamehameha — something that took Master Roshi a half century to master — after seeing it once) at least a few weeks to master? What the fruit is going on with Akira? Is Akira like… a reincarnation of Goku? Because that is the only explanation I can think of that would be feasible. If Battle of the Gods had been out by the time, maybe that would allow for how absurdly over-powered Akira has become, but this was years before that movie was out.
And if Akira is somehow Goku, that would be wrong on so many levels.
Absurdly powerful, able to pick up techniques that take even fighting geniuses a while, and ABSOLUTELIY NO EXPLANATION why and how this ludicrous Gary Stu exists in sight.
Tepheris chapter 20 . 3/19
Okay, so a basic, untrained Super Saiyan Akira is somehow stronger than Super Saiyan II Vegeta. There had better be an explanation for this, or Akira is definitely a Gary Stu. Well, MORE of a Gary Stu.
kwhitehill chapter 2 . 2/20
Never read a fan fiction... Already hook ya bastard haha
Nyxeka chapter 1 . 3/28/2013
wonderful, wonderful story. I thought this was an awesome continuation..
ssj5 chapter 56 . 12/6/2011
look their has to be a resonable explanation for what you worte you can not leave me in such suspense by the way as for your other story well done you have great talen tit would be an waste if you did not write a sequel to this mostly becauuse all the other dbz stories never have a sequel none that i know of anyway you have to do this for your fans i know you made one
FinalFlashX chapter 55 . 11/26/2011
First off let me say that I love this story. It was very well written and it had a unique and original plot line. It had a lot of twists and suprises along the way as well that just added to the suspense of this story. Also you did a good job of keeping all of the characters cannon which is often hard to do espically when diving into the time period after GT. I was also glad that you kept all of the characters involved and did not just let one character take over the story. I was also happy to see that in the end it was Krillin who killed Ammit not Akira or Vegeta.

The only thing I can say I am a little diappointed in is that Akira seems to be too powerful throughout the story. I mean at the beginning he was able to beat Super Saiyan 2 Gohan without even transforming into a normal Super Saiyan. I understand that the Super Saiyan transformations multiply the saiyans base power level by a set amount, 50 times for the first level, 2 times that for Super Saiyan 2, and 4 times that for Super Saiyan 3. I don't think Goku was strong enough that he could fight evenly with Super Saiyan 2 Gohan while he was in his base form and since Akira I believe is suppose to have his strength from Goku it doesn't seem believable. Also Goku and Vegeta were dead even at the end of Dragonball GT in the Super Saiyan 4 form which means they were even in their base forms as well, so I don't see how Akira got to be so powerful if he got his strength soley from Goku.

And while Ithis isn't a critcism, I was kind of diappointed that Vegeta did not become a Super Saiyan 4 again. this is just because I am a huge Vegeta fan though so that is the only reason why. I was happy to see him become a Super Saiyan 3, it seemed the others were catching up to him so he had to put some distance between him and the other half-saiyans. Anyway can't wait to read the sequel! Again good job!
TheDarkMaker01 chapter 41 . 8/10/2010
this is a brilliant story but there is a few spelling mistakes hear and there it is over all brilliant
jeff chapter 53 . 5/1/2010
hey man, read both of ur stories several times. still a bit dissapointed in the super saiyan 5 transformation. the tips of his hair were red? red? out of all the colors in the world, red? i thought it was a weird color for the hair to change into
NotQuiteHuman01 chapter 28 . 3/23/2010
Two things to say about this chapter


2. Eww that's his grandaughter he kissed

also i hear ya on the the whole super Saiyan thing, if they were always the same level when they go super Saiyan then what would be the ponit of training after the became super Saiyans?
NotQuiteHuman01 chapter 21 . 3/21/2010
Right just thought i'd review again, as i said before great story. I laughed quite a bit when I say your note about the twelve reviews, thirty chapters later and you've got more than twenty times that many. just thought i'd say good story realy
NotQuiteHuman01 chapter 9 . 3/21/2010
Awesome story, but if you have similar conversations between to characters i really don't see why you have to mention it. you're using the same characters so it's hard to vary the dialogue without making characters seem out of character. for the people who haven't read Dragon ball next we don't need to know about similar parts and if those of us that have are upset you should really explain it to them. i don't get why people get so worked up, you can't claim rights over scenes that are using other peoples characters. but enough ranting i really liked the story and i tend to be quite picky, especially when it comes to DBZ fights i must say yours were pretty good but then again i have just finished a single fight scene that is almost two chapters long, and it's a tourniment fight so not a massive frenza v goku style fight. again great story looking forward to the rest i'll review every few chapters or so.
Hotstreak's crossover stories chapter 1 . 1/7/2010
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