Reviews for The Calling of Destiny: New Beginnings
Leaangel20 chapter 1 . 6/26/2006
Great story

10 smiles :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Update soon!

Shin-no-Nekochan chapter 6 . 3/28/2005
How I managed to skip a chapter, I really don't know... But, anyway - Nice job with this one. My heartstrings got tugged good and hard. _ You managed to keep Ryo, Ryu, Rona, & Rowen (wow, that's a lot of R's...) all very believable as far as the amount of emotion they showed.

I think you did a particularly good job when Rylea was waking up and then the subsequent conversation; both Rylea's and Ryo's actions and thoughts made sense, but were very touching at the same time. Sorry I had to read the chapters out of order. ;;

~Fruchan o / Shin-No-Nekochan
Shin-no-Nekochan chapter 7 . 3/23/2005
Dialogue-wise, I loved the lunchroom scene. Everyone was very in-character and that was *great*! It really felt like a bunch of young girls and a "cute boy". The part in the Sanada household was even better though. ;;o;; I was laughing *so* hard, because I could see it all happening. When Ryu walked in with the food, I could've sworn Rylea was gonna knock him over or something when he first came in, *then* bite his hand off when he tried to steal her food. ;; THEN he grabbed her tongue! I was so afraid for Ryu at that point... but I guess he's a big boy & can take care of himself. ) His comeback was quite good, though. Ryo sounded like a good, tired-out father. _ Poor guy... I'm glad you pointed that out, though I'm curious to know what exactly happened in the hospital...

Kami and Cye had me laughing extremely hard, too! Oh, my kawaii bishie. . Even as a father-figure, he still gets the best lines. ) (That's a compliment btw; translation: you kept my favorite character in-character and I'm really happy about it.) When Heather took Rona aside, I could've sworn she was going to bring up Tadin, but oh well. *shrugs*

Poor Ryo. "No News" is not "Good News"; this will probably make Ryo even more on edge. Stupid Leinto; I can tell this is going to lead to problems later on.

Your descriptions of Tadin in his "natural environment" were nicely done; I could almost envision some parts. The small look into his past that you gave us was well-placed and appropriate, as was the dialogue he held with Sato and Adian. Nice job with this chapter, though it felt pretty long. (Like I'm one to talk, right? Lol.)

Shin-no-Nekochan chapter 5 . 3/9/2005
Wow... Heather shopping must indeed be a sight to see... Oh boy, they met Tadin... that was a nice bit of acting on his part and you definitely kept both girls in character during the dialogue. :) So, the girls don't think that's a weird name (there's no "di" sound in Japanese) or it's weird that he doesn't have a family name (or gave them one)?

LOL I love your description of Rylea hitting her alarm clock. The exchange between Rylea and Ryo during that scene was very nicely done.

Leinto feels a little more personable than the Ancient One, doesn't he? In any case, I'm glad that you had him still act intelligently towards Rylea's moodiness. The girls snickering and Keish's low fiver were also a nice way to keep all of them in-character. Their individual questions and comments also help do this. I like the necklaces - very interesting. I was wondering if and when Leinto was going to notice Rylea and Rona's little side conversation; I didn't *think* he was deaf. ;; And he just let them starting arguing like that? Maybe he doesn't have as much control over them as I thought... At least you've kept Rylea in character - her dramatization about Leinto telling Ryo was hilarious, even if she *was* being a brat about it.

Your description of Rylea's "panic-attack", as I'll call it, and what happened when Ryo & Ryu found her was extremely good. I have a feeling I know what happened, but I'll keep that to myself for now. I'm glad you had the experience resonate with Ryo, reminding him of what happened the night Luna died and Rylea was "kidnapped", though I thought that it would've started sooner, like when they found the door unlocked. Anyway, an overall very well-written chapter.

~Fruchan o / Shin-No-Nekochan
Shin-No-Nekochan chapter 4 . 3/6/2005
Due to your earlier double-post of Chapter 2, I've had to do this post anonymous. :( I really don't like that. Stupid server.

The idea of having the guys bring their girls to The Warriors Corner is pretty neat; I especially like the dialogue they have - it's mature, but still shows their friendship. Rylea's dancing duel is a fairly interesting scene. Kento being drunk & thinking about a dance-off every Saturday was pretty funny, along with Ryo's comment about Kento doing anything to make a few bucks. :) Hmm... I wonder what Rylea wants Rona to do...

Ryo taking charge of Rylea's health. She might get sick if she goes back out there with a full stomach... And the girls let Kami go back in the kitchen, instead of out on the dance floor? Wow... how did that happen? BTW, I really do like how you've kept up Rylea's smartalic attitude; her little quippings are characteristic now. Again, you've really managed to mature the Ronins w/o taking away their characteristics :) ... Well, maybe except for Kento ;; but he doesn't count... *dodges a punch* Woah, the almost-fight was really funny, and I'm glad Cye stepped in (that's my bishie! -) However, I have to wonder, does this mean that Kento & Ryo never got up from the table? I had a hard time trying to figure out if they were just talking to one another across the table, stood up from the table, or actually gotten up in front of the table and were about to fight.

Now, hold up, you all of a sudden started talking about demons and then Tadin & never even gave us a clue that you had changed scenes! Even an extra paragraph break would've been good! Hybrid; that's a new word for "Half-Demon" I haven't seen before. Kudos for that! Wow, demons "awaken"? Now this is getting interesting. Where did the comment about vampires come from, unless it's important later? And it may have been implied, but what's Sirous' stake in this if Tadin goes out and finds her instead of Sirous himself? Also, you stated that Tadin "feared" the answer Sirous would give him if the new female demon was of no use to them; does this mean that Tadin doesn't like killing or has some form of morals? Anyway, you've done a good job at starting to build some suspense. Now who could that female demon be? ;; *heavy sarcasm ahead* I've *no* idea... -

~Fruchan o / Shin-No-Nekochan
Shin-no-Nekochan chapter 4 . 3/5/2005
Much better description of Rowen & Kiylee; I can see what they're doing now. And you added some description to Rylea's part before she goes to sleep, I believe! Nice. I don't think I mentioned this last time, but I'm glad you had Ryu show concern for Rylea, despite being a "typical older brother" some of the time and teasing her. It was good to show that he *does* have a softer side, but, like most males, doesn't like showing it all the time, except in "extreme" situations. MUCH better job with Rylea reading Ryo's thoughts!

I know I said this last time, but I *love* the scene with Kento, Keish, & the laborers! You wrote that *so* well! :) I'm glad you noted that "Rye" is Ryu's nickname; that really had me confused. I thought for sure it was a typo ;;

~Fruchan o / Shin-No-Nekochan
Shin-no-Nekochan chapter 3 . 3/4/2005
The opening scene with Rowen and Kiylee was very cute, though I had a hard time picturing exactly what was going on when they started to get a little more romantic. Rona walking in was also amusing. I have to wonder though: how would Rowen know if Rylea had called when he only just got home? Anyway, the rest of their dialogue was well-written, too, as well as Rowen's musings while watching TV.

Rylea's nightmare sequence was intriguing. I was glad to see that you kept it to what Ryo could observe and infer, plus he eventually just *had* to wake her up. The part where she answers his thoughts is quite intriguing, but I feel like it could use some tweaking. I tend to either describe what's going on as the narrator or have the characters think about it, but not both. For example, when Rylea answers Ryo's thoughts, she has no idea that she did so. For that reason, I would avoid implying she had any clue what she just did on her line. Ryo's thought, "Did she just answer my thoughts?" was sufficient, I think.

Ah Keish & Kento. I really like the playful relationship you've built between them, evidenced especially by the fact that Keish offers to spar & the "re-match" that she owes him. _ A nice spin with The Warriors Corner; a restaurant AND club! Very nice.

Rylea's musings about the night & darkness intrigue me and make me wonder if this might have something to do with her seemingly harmless kidnapping. If that's what you were going for, then you did it very well. I really like Luna's pendant-the good luck charm; I hope it comes into play in the future. I like how Ryo took charge when his kids started acting up. _ Ah, so there really was a reason for Ryu taking his own car. I'm glad you made this clear, because it was a little foggy to me at first. Their discussion turning to her looks was entertaining, especially their words. Cute.

Overall a very nice chapter. It wasn't exceptionally clear to me why you included the parts with Keish and where they're going, though I kind of inferred it was The Warriors Corner. I found some spelling and grammar errors that I'll pass on to you in e-mail, but for the most part I really liked this chapter.

~Fruchan o / Shin-No-Nekochan
Shin-no-Nekochan chapter 2 . 3/3/2005
The sparring session was nice, especially how Ryo's temper started to boil up and he had to fight both his leader and fatherly instincts. Rylea's responses were well written, too.

Ah, Ryu; he's a classic older brother. Nice job with him. Ryo's pre-memory scene was well-played out as well; very touching.

*whimper* *sniffle* You wrote Ryo's memory *so* well! I had tears in my eyes! I'm sure this is part of the mystery to be revealed, but I have to wonder why Rylea was left unharmed. Hmm... thoughts to ponder... Anyway, *awesome* job!

~Fruchan o / Shin-No-Nekochan
Shin-no-Nekochan chapter 1 . 3/3/2005
I *really* liked the great detail you went into to describe this opening to your story! There were times where you were a little redundant with your word choices, "leaning back against it he became one with the shadows, becoming nothing more than a dark shadow against the wall as he left." Not only that, but you then went onto to use "shadow" quite a few more times in your last sentence. But that's all I can say-the "plot" was very good and I liked the way you had the half-demon stay on his toes, then become thrilled with the thought of battle. Overall, a very good opening!
LG chapter 22 . 12/23/2004
Perfect ending! It smoothly closes up this story, but manages to keep the reader in a calm suspense, waiting with baited breath for the next book. The Roninettes, that's perfect! Rylea really thinks on her feet. You did a wonderful job in this story; your characters come across as being quite real. Well, again, superb endeing to this wondrous story!

Rogue Ronin chapter 22 . 12/21/2004
hey chica..nice wrapped up together nicely...
MorganRay chapter 22 . 12/21/2004
The Roninetts. Maybe there should be an e at the end of it. Roninettes. It looks better, I think. Oh well, even if the name sounds slightly corny, i liked this story. It was a very enjoyable read, which got better as you wrote. You've developed some very interesting characters of your own, the coolest being Tadin. Your new characters definately over compensate for the older characters (aka warlords, kayura, mia, yuli) that you've left out. You've developed interesting character traits in Rylea, along with an alternate personality, which definately can be used again. I'll hear from you soon.
MorganRay chapter 21 . 12/20/2004
Hurray for happy endings! Well, remotely happy, anyway, kind of bitter sweet and tainted. I personally like tragedies better, but you did a really good job with this. I thought Ryo was going to die, and wow, that was the high point of this story. I highly recommend this chapter, story, ect. to others. The additional Latin helped, and I thought it was interesting the Goddess thought Ryo was Hariel. I want to really see what happens with Tadin. This self created character has taken on a big emotional role in your story.
LG chapter 21 . 12/20/2004
*blows nose and dries eyes* What a heart-wrencher! Just when all hope seemed lost, well...what a relief, to put it simply. I was really worried that the Ronins would finally meet their match...glad they haven't yet.

What are you going to do to poor Tadin? You're not going to kill him are you? Poor guy, I feel horrible for him, what a spot he managed to get into. Anyway, awesome chapter, and one great way to wind this down in order to come to a close.

Rogue Ronin chapter 21 . 12/19/2004
hola chica...

yea..that was a sad ending...but still an interesting story...
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