|Reviews for Up coming destination|
| Hunter Hatake and Neko Uchiha chapter 1 . 9/6/2007
this great story so far pleaz write more soon
| luv-blonde-bunny chapter 1 . 12/13/2004
oh hunny. you gotta finish! its turning into something so dramatic and angsty you just gotta finish! pwwez!
| Stamina Pendragon chapter 1 . 4/16/2004
ah ha! i found you. you like have to update this, fast like ... kk?
| Ravenpan chapter 1 . 2/25/2004
Great begining, more soon, please!
| djFusion chapter 1 . 2/24/2004
I thought I read this somewhere before lol
It looks good, but watch the POV change in the beginning - you start off in Trunks' POV (1st person), but then switch to 3rd person. Also, you might want to watch how your using your 'breaks', like:
It can get a little confusing when you mean a timeline change or when you mean a POV change if you're using two different types of breaks.
It looks good and a big improvment overall! Perhaps the last third of the chapter could be fleshed out a bit more since it gets a little back-and-forth with the dialouge, but nothing to worry about. If you ever re-(re)write it, that section could just use a little more description.
Nice job, and I look forward to the next part! _