|Reviews for It Could Have Been|
| Mizamour chapter 8 . 8/19/2005
Oh, awesome. I love it!
| Mizamour chapter 2 . 8/19/2005
Oh, this is great! Great idea for a story, too... wow!
| twilight-pixie chapter 8 . 9/19/2004
Finally got a chance to read this. I'd been meaning to. It's good. Sort of makes you think of Smeagol as a person and not just the guy that Gollum used to be. I like it.
| Danny Barefoot chapter 8 . 8/15/2004
Yet another? I've only done two...sorry about the delay, i've been in North Wales on a camp for most of this week.
The whole Anya subplot was reasonably ended-but they were friends, and that didn't feature in eight. I imagine Smeagol forgot everything but the Ring, but what would be really sweet would be a epilogue or companion one-shot from Anya's POV, showing her thoughts on the final chapter's events.
The last chapter itself-great.
'No, it wasn't kind, but it wasn't harmful; the birds would eat it otherwise.'
As you say, a juvenile amorality, foreshadowing worse evils-good line. Announcement of the Ring's influence was well done. And the murder, very nice, evil in all of us, oh my. The very end could be a bit more immediate to gollum and his feelings, but he isn't Smeagol any more, and you left off a the right point. We understand a few things more...though who's Nienna?
Seriously, well done for finishing a good story.
| Danny Barefoot chapter 6 . 5/29/2004
Quite short, but key...things starting to go wronger. The last line of the first section seems odd objectively, but I suppose Smeagol's beginning to hate himself even now. Can you possibly think of something other than 'out on the town', maybe 'go down to the tavern?'
| BishoujoTenshi chapter 5 . 5/21/2004
The white flower's called Simbelmyne(sp?). I really enjoy you're 'fic. Love it.
| Danny Barefoot chapter 5 . 4/10/2004
I thought spitting on the grave was a bit much, but it certainly got them fighting. Depends if you want Smeagol's nastiness causing his enstrangement, which seems to already be happening, though it'll get worse after the Ring I expect, or the cruelty of others causing his nastiness, which seems the case here. The thing with the book was good. You could maybe in throw the Ring quite soon, though i'm not sure how you could create a buildup. Maybe something had happened on his birthday...have something nice happen to him then, just so the Ring can spoil it!
| Danny Barefoot chapter 4 . 3/21/2004
This only gets nastier, doesn't it...Anya's very strong, very convincing, good. The final line sort of split the mood, maybe you could put that in earlier, or in the next chapter somewhere. Scene with his father...ouchie. Any chance that Gollum could murder a certain someone after Deagol?
| Danny Barefoot chapter 3 . 3/14/2004
Poor ole' Smeagol...even if the Deagol and Anya meetings were lovely, we just know how it's going to end. And why those kids had to beat him up...the final line was perfection, and there's a lot of nice juicy details.
| Danny Barefoot chapter 1 . 2/29/2004
Good, we need some favourable Gollum/Smeagol fanfics. Nice ominous start, with little Smeagol's feelings put over quite well. And it is really quite plausible. Definately continue.