|Reviews for The Holy Blade|
| Guest chapter 14 . 7/9/2013
| Fox of the Blood Moon chapter 14 . 12/21/2011
Awesome ass Fic thanks for all you hard work.
| mysticmoon1331 chapter 14 . 3/14/2010
fantastic! i would love to read a sequal and hope you decide to make one. i can't wait to read more of your work! in the meantime i wish you good luk and no writers bllock. good luk!
| Garret p.i chapter 2 . 7/6/2007
Okay, a quick review of the first couple chapters and some advice.
First, Slow opening... the fic just is too slow to really grab me and draw me in. Yes, I know you've likely got plans for why you want to open it slowly... establishing characters and setting... but still, chapter 1 is supposed to reach out and grab your readers. You're failing to do so.
Second, Learn the effing difference between "your" and "you're". Let me help you with it. Your cat, Your car, Your path in life, Your skill as a writer. Notice how all those are POSSESSIVE forms. "Your" indicates that something belongs to you. "You're" is a contraction of You and Are. You're reading a review, You're going to write a new chapter, You're going to drive me insane if you don't stop using "your" instead of "you're". You're is used in place of you are, if you can read your sentence and use You are instead of Your... then you're using the wrong version and should change it to You're. Capish?
Third, Titles, Queen of England, Slayer... capitalize. Nuf said.
Fourth, Exposition by the author/authoress BAD. Don't use it.
Example:"Later in his room at the hotel Xander was getting ready for his date when there was a knock on his door."
Don't ever interject your voice into a story... ever. Telling the reader that Xander is getting ready for a date... bad. Instead, simply describe him doing something and have the events speak to what he's doing or have him tell someone who asks that he's getting ready to go out. One of my favorite authors once wrote a piece of advice for other writers, Show, don't tell. Let the character's actions illustrate the point you're trying to get across. If you find that you can't do this, rethink what you were writing in the first place. Exposition if the crutch of the bad author.
Finally, Scene breaks... okay for scripts... bad for 3rd person passive style stories. You should never use section labels like "dream sequence" or "end of dream sequence"... ever. They're evil.
Now, you might thing that all this is nothing but a raging tirade against your story. Nothing could be further from the truth. I like the basic premise and the active characterizations are pretty good. You need some help in the mechanical aspects of the story telling, but that's fixable if you put some effort into it. I don't do reviews for fics that are bad, and I also don't write reviews that are purely there to praise the author. I write reviews for good stories only, and I do so in ways to point out how they could be made much better.
Your story has some promise to it, you just need to polish it and clean up some of the rough edges.
| Ant Crown chapter 14 . 6/19/2006
Nice on the much needed Buff bash. I always forget she hasn't have the brain to figure out that it's not such a good idea to underestimate her friends.
| Bobboky chapter 14 . 1/27/2006
| Big-G chapter 14 . 9/8/2005
this is a Great ending, to a great story, and a sequal would be great.
| Ronin100 chapter 14 . 8/29/2005
That was a good ending to a good fic. I hope you do a sequal.
P.S. I cast a vote for a P/X/F ship ;)
| American Soldier chapter 14 . 8/25/2005
The most accurate impression of Miss Summers I have ever seen in my life. And Willow, taking a quiet stand for her friend while doing nothing in the face of the main oppressor...completely accurate. I don't know what Joss was thinking when he did that, or why the Hell he decided having the Slayer be a cheerleader was a good idea. *sigh* Oh, well. Can't change the past...that's what FF's for.
As to a sequel, I'm not opposed but, if it means anything, I love this story and would like to either see the differences between B and X resolved and, if not, strained to the point of breakage. I think Xander deserves the chance to go out on his own and make his way in the world. The series just doesn't do him justice, whereas it overcompensates for every other character. Maybe Joss just doesn't like Nick.
In any case, would like a sequel but, it's up to you. Keep writing.
| DeathGod666 chapter 14 . 8/24/2005
I must say i enjoyed reading this so if yourself or anyone else decides to make a sequel i will be there and great ending reminds of MIB endimg lol
| RemusGirl21 chapter 14 . 8/24/2005
MAKE A SSEQUAL MAKE A SEQUAL I AM TOTALLY ADDICTED TO THIS PLEASE MAKE A SEQUAL! By the way, that was an awesome story!
| WBH21C chapter 14 . 8/24/2005
Very well done! Any chance this will turn out a Paige/Faith/Xander ship? LOL!
| SHAWN PROVONCHA chapter 13 . 5/3/2005
GREAT CHAPTER PLEASE UPDATE.
| American Soldier chapter 13 . 3/7/2005
I love this story, and I'm so sad to see it just go unfinished. Please complete it. Plus, I think that the only negative thing that I could possibly say would be that the others don't truly try to help Xander out. Let's be honest: Willow is an overall good person, but she allows herself to be controled by Buffy, up until when she goes bad, then she feels so guilty that she can't do anything without Buffy's permission or doesn't tell her. Xander angry? About damn time! He's put up with a lot and that's what happens when it's all let out at one time. Plus, P/X is just fantastic. Please, Please, Please update.
| FireClaw chapter 13 . 1/30/2005
NIce Work! This is a really impressive piece of writing!