Reviews for Initiation
Dragonclaw chapter 1 . 6/24/2014
Just like Space Cadet, there's so much wrong with this story. In some ways, this is worse.

First of all, how the fuck does Kiki live on her own? That isn't normal. No 10, 11 year old ever lives on their own. She should have at least SOMEONE, a guardian or whatever, to look after her. And why would Penny even trust her if she keeps drawing and erasing dangerous stuff into ChalkZone DESPITE being told about ChalkZone? Heck, while we are on that, why the fuck did Penny decide to tell this person, whom she JUST MET about ChalkZone?!

Do you even realize the consequences of that? The show establishes that exposing ChalkZone has dire consequences. Rudy and Penny wouldn't just...drag anyone into that world. Especially not someone they just met.

Also, what the heck is up with Penny? God, do you REALLY think she is going to just abandon her friends over a fucking JOKE?! Seriously?! AND because they are both boys? You know, if you've actually watched the show like you said you do, then you would know that Penny would not overreact like that.

And that part where she's so mean to Snap for no reason, way to go having Rudy only scold Snap, even though Penny was far meaner and she's the one who started it. What is that word I'm thinking off...yes. Author bias. You hate Snap, so your writing reflects that, even when it contradicts the show. Very immature and unprofessional. When you let author bias show, it can bring the whole story down.

Sadly it's not even just Snap you ruin in this story, but Mrs. Sanchez as well. Since...since WHEN did Mrs. Sanchez EVER say she hated Rudy? At what point does she show any dislike towards him? There's the episode Taffy where she sounded a little annoyed, but she was under stress. If you watch a season 4 episode, the one with the rock band, Mrs. Sanchez clearly states "I hope Rudy will be okay". Mrs. Sanchez has no problem with Rudy, and is on good terms with his parents. I don't know how you think she hates him.

Why did she not call the police when her daughter was missing? That's what any parent would do. She wouldn't just..you know...sit around fuming at Rudy regarding her (nonexistent in the show) hatred for him.

The mind control villain was just a waste. He didn't even do anything to Penny except make her walk around ChalkZone. Ooo scary! At least the metal dragon, despite being pathetic, at least was a big enough threat that Rudy and Penny (and SNAP since you forgot to include him) had to run away, and Skrawl was at least a little menacing. But the mind control guy? He's weak.

If you ever decide to write more CZ fanfics, do yourself a favor and actually watch the show, and taken in what you see. Don't filter it just because you want to focus on romance or just because you don't like a character. It takes more skill to write a character you don't like accurately than it does to write a character you don't like the way you yourself see them.
Guest chapter 11 . 4/17/2011
I knew kiki was a bad person from the start.

P.S. Snap's sexy! :D
Queen Rapsheeba chapter 6 . 4/16/2011
Awesome story!

P.S. Snap is sexy and I had sex with him last night! -
Guest chapter 6 . 4/16/2011
Snap is sexy! -
XxTheUnspokenTruthxX chapter 1 . 7/26/2010
Good prologue! It really pulled me in the story! Keep on writing!
China chapter 11 . 6/13/2009
is like super its so good!I wish that'd you update 'd be really cool.
Shiue Evelyn Fha chapter 11 . 5/11/2009
Quickly, hurry up for the next chapter. I'm waiting for it since long long time ago.
Prominence Flare chapter 11 . 5/4/2009
It'd be real nice if you could continue this.

Also, you were right. I don't like Kiki.
potterfreak001 chapter 11 . 8/25/2006
THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME! IF I DON"T GET MORE RUDY/PENNY /CHALKZONE FICS ILL EXPLODE!
Guardian Hunter chapter 11 . 6/19/2004
Very nice and sncie you updated I'll get on to drawing what I promissed I hop you like it.
mpcp13 chapter 11 . 6/19/2004
You always leave me commin' back for more. oh wel, another long wait. But heck, I'm patient. Please do not abandon this fic and continue.

PS: Did you get the style from the book series Animorphs, or is it just a coincidence?
Spice of Life chapter 11 . 6/18/2004
YOU UPDATED! I'm so happy I almost soiled my pants!

...I'm hyper, ignore that if you will :) I was so glad to see you'd updated, though! Such an excellent chapter! I can't wait to see what happens next! Update again [as soon as possible!]
IC-Chan aka.Imagination Child chapter 1 . 6/10/2004
I just want to say that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ALL YOUR STORIES! You are a great writer! And you have officially got me hooked on CZ fanfiction. I mean seriously I am crazed, I read all your CZ fics in one day and I love them all. Heck, I want to write one of my own. Then I saw your art work and I loved that too. You have made a huge fan out of me, you are even on my favorite authors list, and all I have to say is PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE put up the next chapter!
Unknown chapter 10 . 6/10/2004
O.O *shock to find such a good story wareing of*

now that's a fanfic you have to UPDATA NOW MUST KNOW WHAT WHAT HAPPNESS!*going back in to state of shock* )o.O
mpcp13 chapter 10 . 5/11/2004
Things are gettin' good. I can't wait for the next chapter.
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