|Reviews for The Garden of Allah|
| HecatonchiresLM chapter 7 . 6/30/2007
I liked it, and glad you added more to this story, but it could have done with a proof read.
Towards the end, there's a para with Scott speaking, but Michelle stripping her damaged clothes off - very heard to pick up who's saying what.
Max line about cops doing things - very odd. Doesn't say what I think you want it to say.
| Luc Star chapter 7 . 6/30/2007
Woohoo! An update. Finally. Glad to see you back Kain.
Anyways, on with the review - this was another excellent chapter. It was good to see Buffy and the crew. Loved the fact that Duncan and Logan know each other - this of course shouldn’t really be surprising since this is a crossover universe and some characters were likely to cross paths here and there. Loved the fight scene at the end, it was awesome. Michelle’s secret is out but then again she shouldn’t really be worried. After all, her secret was out in front of people who had secrets of their own. Anyways, really can’t wait to read more. Take care of yourself and when you get the chance, do have a go through my story Six Sharp Claws and a Mister Pointy. Any comments or suggestions you may have on how to improve already written chapters and how to improve future chapters will be much appreciated.
Once again, take care and do keep up the good work.
| Hoosier Daddy chapter 1 . 4/17/2006
UPDATE "THE MOUSE NEVER SLEEPS."
| Elanor chapter 6 . 12/9/2005
Excellent story so far. I couldn't stop reading it. Although you do leave many things unknown like what happened to Angel to make him like this.
Keep updating, can't wait to see what next you have planned.
| Luc Star chapter 6 . 11/15/2005
great chapter man.. i can't believe you made us wait this long for an update on this story.. i dunno how you even do it.. working with so many characters in the same universe.. i'm not sure i would've been able to pull something like this off. anyways.. great chapter.. can't wait to read more. update soon.
| shamanT chapter 5 . 9/24/2005
One word first: I didn't think it would be possible to do a good mega-crossover of the dimensions you are to attempt. Every big CO I read was overladen with characters and after a little while you just lost track of what character A was doing while character X was in the middle of doing somthing with character G... However, I came to your author's site over your fantastic fic "Minutes to Memories" - superb ideas you had there. After a little browsing through the rest of your fics I discovered you had Midas' hand - whatever you touch becomes gold. Okay, kidding there, I know how hard writing is, but after having seen your achievements, I'm more than a little awed. However, I'm not there to praise your work altogether (though it is a rather large part of this review;-), but actually this particuliar fic.
In the first chapter the characters are introduced and how they are making their way to Seattle. I admit, I was a little suspicious after so many introductions - will this work? Too many fail with such a large number, if not in story-lines then in portraying the protagonists well. The worlds don't fit that well together, too, though you mesh them quite successfully.
[A little question as a sidenote: I followed the Dark Angel line quite well I believe to imagine. Wouldn't the Pulse have 'killed' Cerebro/bra (the hell with those names! Which one is the real one anyway?), too?]
The solution of Buffy's children running away to Seattle seems a little constructed, but that is to be expected. I don't know anything about Nick Wolfe or Ceirdwyn and my knowledge about the rest of Highlander (other than the first tow films) is out of fanfics, so I'll run along and won't comment on any of the immortals. Hooking Methos up with Dawn however, that is interesting.
The chapter goes on and on and I'm really surprised - you found a plot place for everyone. A little imbalance as the following chapters are smaller by a good degree. But so far, none of your characters gets lost.
Long Day: The figures are placed, the odds are on, let's begin with the story. So far the mystic world and the cyberpunks are more or less divided. Superhuman Logan (who is in your stories always a tad bit overpowered - far from a bad thing, I even prefer him that way, but I thought I should mention that...) and Superhuman May in a camp of genetically engineered superkids - odd occurence: the born, the accident and the planned. Hmm. Mystically enhanced stay between themselves: Buffy, Dawn and the immortals search for the vampire breeds. Max got info and doesn't know what to do with it for the moment being. And to top it of, Angel is evil and brainwashed Spike into helping him 'cause he's jealous. A strong bit of AU here, but as I don't like Angel and hope of the return of Do-gooder Spike so Buffy will get her romance, I will go with it.
Grammar: wonderful. Spelling: some typos, but all in all almost perfect. Something unique: the ending of your chapters with a poem is something I haven't seen anywhere else. Wow!
Congratulations, another addict. Though you said you won't be able to write the next few weeks, your updates before were regular, so I really am grateful that a good story like that won't be abandoned. Hey, one beg i still have: please ( oh god, I sound like one of THEM) don't stop your other fics. Hadn't had a good read like 'Minutes to Memories' or your Spidergirl/Buffy CO in months.
So, salute, shamanT
PS: Again I have to say it: no, my first language isn't English. If I messed something up, please inform me.
| Luc Star chapter 5 . 9/5/2005
Hey Kain.. hows it going man? good i hope... sorry haven't been around to review your work for the last few months.. was away on holiday.. i did take the time to keep up with most of your stories while i was away though (which included going to an internet cafe with one of those USB flash disks and then copying entire chapters onto my computer and then getting back home to read them... cause staying at the cafe and reading those long chapters would just be murder on my wallet.. hehe). anyways... not much going on in this chapter but i can't really wait for Spike and the rest to show up in Seattle. you got any plans of having any characters from any other universes popping up here.. i mean.. since you already got so many.. whats a few more.. hehe. anyways.. loving that New York Minute story all the way, and all your other stories. take care and keep up the good work.
| Luc Star chapter 4 . 4/19/2005
Woah dude... angel's evil.. kinda... spike's alive... i think those two things had already overloaded my brain.. anyways.. great chapter.. i hope to see a meeting between spider-girl and either the transgenics or the wonder twins... preferable the wonder twins... cause i mean.. didn't madam web refer to spiderman as the chosen one in that animated series... if that's the case it'll be like the meeting between children of the chosen one meeting another chosen one... umm.. then again there's max.. who also happens to be a chosen one. ok.. how many chosen ones are there in this story again? well.. anyways.. big thanks for finally updating this story... i hope you are going to update all the others as well. take care and keep on writing.
| Luc Star chapter 3 . 1/18/2005
ok.. this is definitely a very good crossover between all the characters of the different universe. but i see that you haven't really updated any newer chapters in some time now. i really hope you are still working on this. hate to see a good story without its ending. i have half a mind to ask you if i can continue it with your permission but then again i'm working on my own story right now and simply do not have the time. well, i really hope that you will continue it because i really can't wait to see how this is all going to end. take care and keep em coming.
| twisgd chapter 1 . 7/3/2004
Have to agree with Majiin here. Giles is *completely and utterly OOC*, used as a one-dimensional plot device without any attempt to take on board the onscreen relationship he and Buffy had, which for all its (shoehorned-in) faultlines in s7, has been persistently caring, strong and true. You have apparently decided to wipe out *all* of canon except selected parts of Helpless and LMPTM and put the worst possible spin on the bits you have kept. Does not wash. Giles is simply NOT LIKE THIS.
Please don't write about him any more unless and until you are able/willing to get him right. In fact you should edit what you have already written because it makes *zero* sense as a BtVS fic. This might as well be an original character for all the resemblance.
And sorry, but why the heck *should* Buffy and Spike's twin offspring be above everyone else? Oh, sorry, because we're in B/S-land. Logic has no purchase here.
| Arekanderu chapter 3 . 7/2/2004
Cool now we have Angel as we.I can't wait to see more of he is still good now,how strong is he,if W&H is still as powerful even after The Pulse,if he has been keeping an eye on Connor.I just hope you don't have him end with buffy like in most fanfics.I can't wait for the next fic is geting better and better!
| b l a c k r o s e 9 chapter 3 . 7/2/2004
this is cool. i wouldnt mind a little bit more max in it. and some logan (cale) aswel. cool chap. nice writting style. loved how you wrote white.
| lil badass chapter 3 . 7/1/2004
fucking awesome ;]
ofcourse, all your stories are.
| cat chapter 3 . 7/1/2004
hey this is really good! please carry on, wanna know what happens next!
| Majin Gojira chapter 1 . 5/23/2004
It's late, so I'll be brief. Well Written, BUT...
1) You describe nothing. this is especially bad when you introduce OCs
2) The Characters from Buffy show little resemblence to the characters from the show. Giles is Completely OOC-behaving more like Quinten Travers than anyone else, Conner is pretty badly put out. and Buffy is...well...mind-wiped.
3) You're OCs are, quite frankly, Mary and Marty Stues. They are shallow recreations of both Buffy and Spike with added powers and series ties.
4) Dark Angel Canon is thuoughly tortured-for at the end of the series, Max and the other Manticore Creations were all hold up in terminal city after the grand debacle at Jam Pony.
Suggestions: Restart, fix the character mutations, remove the Sues/Stues and incorporate the finale of Angel into the mix. I do think that this would be an interesting premise, but the execution is highly flawed.