|Reviews for Tainted Demon Eyes|
| hama431 chapter 8 . 9/1/2013
| Eranda chapter 1 . 7/9/2013
The first chapter frankly sucked! Do something more original, the only thing different from the storyline with naruto is that she likes dango instead of ramen.
| Oktavia Stormborn chapter 3 . 7/17/2011
You should update the 4th's name, seeing as how it's been canon for three years. Also, you're off to a good start. Keep it up.
| Nessa671 chapter 8 . 7/11/2011
Please update soon.
| Ophidias chapter 1 . 6/2/2011
alright. i read your opening paragraph and decided i'm not even going to bother trying to read this fic. i can't understand, don't authors realize that spelling and grammar mistakes in your summaries (or in this case your bold intro paragraph) just tell the reader that you don't care about it? i mean, if you have those mistakes in such a small piece of writing, a very important piece at that, what will a full length story be like? your summaries and introductions are supposed to sell your writing to the reader and capture their attention. when you make mistakes in them it puts people off, plain and simple.
Once, for reasons yet unknown, appeared a nine-tailed demon fox. With just a simple swing of one of its mighty tail, it crumbled mountains and caused tsunamis. Disaster had been summoned into the lands.'
first of all the first once isn't needed, unless your narrator has a stutter. other than that this part is fine except that you contradict yourself. at the start you say the reasons the kyuubi appeared are unknown, then in the next sentence you say it was summoned. which is it?
'To fight this abdominal creature of unearthly creation, the people assembled the shinobi – those who stealth in darkness – to counter this threat and put an end to its existence.'
this one actually gave me a bit of a laugh. abdominal creature? that's a muscle group. it just made me see the kyuubi with a 6-pack standing over konoha yelling "oh yeeeah, check out my abs!" and doing weird belly clenches. i think you meant abominable.
then the line 'those who stealth in darkness'. stealth isn't a verb. you stealth, i stealth, we stealthed... it doesn't work. you want to say something like 'those who hide in darkness' or 'those who strike from the darkness' or even 'those who live in darkness'.
the only bit i picked up on in the next part was the opening sentence 'The fight did not bode well.' If something doesn't bode well it's like a prediction - "this doesn't look good" or "things look bad for us". you don't use it in the past tense like this. to use it in the past tense you would have to be talking about the time BEFORE the fight - 'they new the fight did not bode well for them, but they committed themselves to it anyways' yours would read better if you simply said 'the fight did not GO well.' especially in context of your next sentence - 'The fight did not go well. Many lives were lost, countless others shattered.
as your ending to the intro you have:
'That shinobi's name…
The Fourth Hokage.'
errrm... The Fourth Hokage isn't a name, it's a title. his name was Namikaze Minato.
so yeah, the rest of your story could be absolutely fantastic but i and probably many others will never know because your opening put us off. the job of your summary and then your opening is to sell yourself, which is doubly important when your fic is just one in a list of hundreds of thousands of naruto fics. you really have to try and make yours stand out to grab attention.
well anyways, peace, and good luck for any future writing!
| jinsama chapter 8 . 5/3/2011
the story is update.
| Ketsuekihimesama34 chapter 8 . 10/16/2010
I am so waiting for the next chapter...
| CSS chapter 8 . 9/29/2010
| JustALittleTwisted chapter 8 . 4/21/2010
Wow. Seriously. This is awesome. I love your writing style. I also love this version of Naruto. I think I like it more than the original. I'm a huge Sakura fan, and I love your portrayal of her in this. I also can't get over how hilarious Sasuke and is womanizing ways are.
This is so different from anything I've read, and I can't tell you how refreshing it is. I hope you can find it within you to update!
| spring smoothie chapter 8 . 4/20/2010
Love this story to pieces. Hope you will update it one day. :)
| DirkSamuelsMusicTheory chapter 1 . 1/11/2010
| Dis is Auh-Mai-ZING chapter 8 . 9/7/2009
More. Please. SOON! NOW EVEN! BUt PLEASE JUST MORE THE ANNOYED REVIWER COMMANDS U NIcLEY WITH CAPITAL LETTERS TO UPDATE!
| Espirofitos chapter 8 . 6/19/2009
Nice story! i really like it and all...but..emm...are you going to update soon?
Please do so!
| NinjaFoodLover chapter 4 . 5/26/2009
It's been three years since your last chapter. So a year probably isn't that long to some people.
| NinjaFoodLover chapter 3 . 5/26/2009
I'd give you another pat on the head but I think you deserve a cake more...:cake: There be Happy.