Reviews for Jaqueline
Ron's Sweetie chapter 5 . 9/17/2006
Great story i love it. My name is Jacqueline. I love your story alot. Keep going with it.
TheSongOfNature chapter 5 . 6/5/2006
Can not wait
Graymoon74 chapter 5 . 6/21/2004
Very short! Ugh...oh well. I hope you can get on here and post again sometime.
Graymoon74 chapter 4 . 6/21/2004
Interesting. I must see what the next chapter holds!
Mrs. Mina Harker chapter 4 . 5/27/2004
Good. But you mispelled Mina a couple of times. Sad at how you explained her name.
Kill Mary Sue chapter 3 . 4/15/2004
Rishandra, you are a sweet person, but I know Vaudevillian, and believe me, killing herself is the best thing she could ever do, and I hope she does. She's a disgrace to her family and to mankind in general. She will never amount to anything but trouble for other people.
Graymoon74 chapter 3 . 4/13/2004
I thought it was a good chapter. Gives even more insight into her life. Looking forward to the next chapter )
Melanie chapter 3 . 4/9/2004
Happy Birthday! This was not boring. But you need more action.
Kill Mary Sue chapter 1 . 3/17/2004
Vaud, you are a complete and total snob, you know that? I have never seen anyone so in love with herself. Know why I don't sign in? So twats like you won't take revenge for my bad reviews by posting crap on my review boards. You are nothing, so stop trying to convince everyone on this website that you are "better" than them. See? You got your attention, so you should be happy now. That's all you want, is attention, hence the nasty reviews. Do the world a favor and kill yourself, you worthless cunt.
Rammstein chapter 1 . 3/16/2004
The formatting-I decline to read this beofre this is formatted normally.
Vaudevillian chapter 2 . 3/13/2004
::clicks tongue::
I'm dissappointed. No evil shot at my review. Not even so much as n honorable shout-out. ::taps chin with finger:: WHy don't we skip the small talk and get straight to the nitty-gritty, eh?
You need to reformat the story. Separate the bigger chunks of writing into smaller paragraphs so it will be easier on the eyes. Especially the last "aragraph". You do know that when two people speak, each dialogue line is another paragraph...right? Or maybe perhaps your html isn't that great. Or your writing program is broken. You nees a BETA. Ask Greymoon34... that author seems to love you. ::cough:: And I'd appreciate it if (s)he didn't nick my phrase. 'Nuff said. ::ovrely-toothy smile::
Also, you have many typos. This chapter seemed rushed and you need to work on charcterization. Considering English isn't your first language, I'll give you a break. However, don't expect a REAL editor to sympathize with you.
Crystal chapter 2 . 3/13/2004
This is beginning to get good, although the way you write is a little confusing, so you might want to re-think the paragraph form for dialogue. It's hard to tell who is saying what. Though I truly do like your story. Also, some of your verbs were a little off, but other than that not many mistakes! Please update soon, I can't wait to see what happens with her hydrophobia!
Graymoon74 chapter 2 . 3/13/2004
I don't like that cold smile on Jaqueline's lips! I wonder what she is planning on doing aboard that Nautilus? Hopefully she isn't as evil as her father.
Oh...and your English is fine!
Looking forward to more )
Graymoon74 chapter 1 . 3/11/2004
Interesting. Not trying to be bitchy, but you may want to do a spell check or two before putting your work on here...I'm not that picky about it, but some people are overly sensitive to it. Like those lovelies who are a bit overly dramatic about the Mary Sue issue! For God's Sake if you don't like the Mary Sue's...don't read the story. Jesus! 'Nuff said, a - ight? Anyway...keep this up. I like this story so far. Putting you in my favorites )
Sara chapter 1 . 3/10/2004
I like it so far. Is Sybil Vane her mother? Are you going to somehow incorporate into your story the fact that Dorian can only be killed by stabbing his portrait (in the book, he's obsessed with looking at his portrait and watching it decay)? I'd love for you to continue with this!
17 | Page 1 2 Next »