This -is- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce.

I understand this was written before the final parts of season 5 aired, but I wouldn't say it's been "Jossed" as such. (Except for the part where he tells Fred's parents instead of lying to them. Still, I wish he'd told them.) Rather it offers the other possibility for Wesley. With nothing left to live for he could have died or he could have left. What was keeping him in Los Angeles after all besides his "half-hearted convictions?"

(This unlike his previous darkest hour in season 4 where he had something to prove to himself and to his former friends. Back then he was trying to win. In season 5 he no longer cared.)

Plot aside (it's of secondary importance here anyway) this is a brilliant character-sketch. I may be somewhat biased, but it's the description of Lilah that I love best. It puts into words so very well how I see those two. And any Lilah appearance is to be cherished, even if it's just a figment of Wesley's imagination. That was Lilah Morgan.

The slightly petty side of me that didn't care for his relationship with Fred enjoys how superficial, in comparison, his description of her is.

I see you've written a sequel of sorts to this, and I look forward to reading it.

your stories are really great. and mostly because its one-am here, but also because after the angst that is wes and fred i need a pick-me-up, this is what my warped mind thought of...

They are all dead to me now, but Winifred Burkle goes on in fragments. I cling to those fragments because I have nothing else left in this world but echoes and ghosts.

Mostly, it is the way she says my name.

This is Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, - over and out.

yes, he needed to say over and out. lol. nah, jk. great fic btw!

A great story. Very good.

I like this story... really do. Good work

I enjoyed it. Good characterization of Wesley. It makes sense that having Illyria say his name would be a horribly wonderful experience for him. It makes sense he wouldn't talk to Angel, and that he would need to leave, need some symbalance of a fresh start. I agree he wasn't actually in love with Fred, but he felt he SHOULD be. Thus, he created the facsimle. And of course his draw to Illyria is partially composed of that same impulse, self stereotype. Good description of Roger Wyndam Pryce too.
The Shadower

wow. I mean, WOW. What an incredibly insightful and painful piece. I love it. You've got the darkWes down, pat. Daddy, Lilah and Fred/Illyria all the things that matter most. I'd love to see you do something like this with Illyria. Having the Fred bits come and go, leaving her bereft/ feeling at sea. Yowza.

HI. NicE!

Brilliant! I loved every part of it especially the last part.
'Mostly, it is the way she says my name.'
Just beautiful. I like how you handle his feelings in relation to Fred & Illyria. His unwillingness to feel and his desperate hold onto memories of Fred. I also the like the part about touch.
The one about Roger just captures Wesley's change perfectly. He used to be all about duty but you can't say that now. Very sad too that Wesley realises he'll become like his father eventually. Very good Lilah thoughts too. I think she's the only person to ever truly understand how Wes works. You're not the only one to wonder how he can remember Lilah without memory of Connor.
Please archive your Wes fics at /archive/

*shudder* Wow. You got tears out of me.
"Mostly it is the way she says my name." -Poignant and haunting, just like your fic. God, this is the best line.
"Less corporeal than Spike was after he first came back, if only because he had a desire to feel again." -Perfect way to describe the somnambulist way Wes is living in this story.
"I hated her with every ounce of reason I still possessed and loved her with everything else, I think." -I've never seen Lilah and Wes' relationship described so well. The self-loathing that was the connection between them, as if they could only be with each other because no one else would ever understand...
Beautiful.

Amazing...tragic and sad. It seems to make you feel detached...almost like Wes would feel.

This was beautifully written. I could feel the emotion or lack there of that Wesley had. And the role of Illyria in his mental state. Very, very well done.

Wow. This was really, really good. Great job.

Very very good! Please write more! You really do Wesley justice!

Tragic, that's what this was. Beautifully tragic.
I like the style you've used, creating a detached atmosphere with the reader, as if you're looking into a diary that has been cast away or burnt to ashes so that no one else may see. Wesley's confusion and emotion is clearly evident here, subtle in some parts, but potent nonetheless.
Nicely done.
(BTW, thanks for spelling out this 'new Fred's name... Illyria? Hmm. As for the whole 'missing Conner, where's Lilah?' loophole. I can't answer that.)