Reviews for Treasure Planet, my style!
Kaitlin chapter 18 . 6/27/2011
Reviews

This was an interesting concept. I read the story, and quite liked it. The writing was good, but I think overall it needs a lot if work. It's unfinished. Hopefully one day you'll come back to it and fix it up. You pretty much followed the movie word for word, but you're only stifling your creativity that way. There is so much more you could do with it. You should feel free to expand on the movie dialogue; I kept wanting to see more original stuff. I would've loved to see you explore this concept of a tough female character, and how the men around her see her, treat her. How Captain Amelia and Silver treat her differently (if they do) because she's a girl. In writing you can really explore your character's emotions and inner thoughts. You're also free to add more scenes that weren't in the film. But you didn't do that much. It needs more detail, and just more of everything!

I recently acquired the 'Treasure Planet' DVD after years of searching, so I was estatic about that. I have since watched it several times, and can more or less recite the movie from memory. (I am NOT obsessed, I swear!) Most of the dialogue you got right on. The dialogue that was different, I couldn't tell if it was meant to be different or not, so I won't say much. I will point out, during the launch Captain Amelia said 'rope' when referring to the shrouds. And no spacer worth their salt would call a line 'rope'. It's a rope when it's coiled up; it's a line when it's rigged.

Also, I'd like to point out that sometimes when a character walks in you don't introduce them, so they just start talking and unless the reader has seen the movie it's a little difficult to understand. (When Jen is mopping the deck and Silver walks up to throw out the scraps, for example.)

The ending was kind of random. In fact it got more and random as the story went along. Funny as it was, it seems very out of place. I like random, but the story should've been either random the whole way through, or else not random at all.

I hope you write more 'Treasure Planet' fanfiction. Condolences on your fish!
Aspendragon chapter 1 . 4/9/2010
I'm sorry, but I can't read past the first chapter.

Here's some advice, don't bother writing a fanfic if it's just a copy of the original script with a change of the main character's gender and name.
dog youkai jane chapter 18 . 12/14/2008
Wow. I must say, that was very interesting. Sorry about your fish.

I just saw about half of Treasure Planet last thursday and I loved it! I have to find it!
01031989 chapter 1 . 3/9/2006
Awesome!
Nausicaa of the Spirits chapter 18 . 3/8/2006
Please, do make a sequel... please? _
tikitikitimbo chapter 1 . 11/12/2004
this is i and i says hi

the girl in my story shuyin the correct spelling is Shui'yin so change that please
tikitikitimbo chapter 18 . 11/11/2004
this is i andi says that sucked

i'm sorry but that ending was like a vacume it sucked it was the most original part of the whole fic but it blew b/c it made me sad and confussed b/c jen was supposed to make his mom proud but no sher just disowned him it sucked. (this is not a flame)

it is just the truth tjhe ending ruined all the wholesom goodness of the story.

i'm so disappointed
tikitikitimbo chapter 10 . 11/11/2004
this is i, i says hi

I think the caption and jen should in reality be more friendly to one another b/c they are the only femals
tikitikitimbo chapter 10 . 11/11/2004
this is i i says hi

i think that the caption and jen should be much closer and friendlier to each other b/c they are the only girls on this ship
tikitikitimbo chapter 9 . 11/11/2004
this is i i say hi

this is the exact movie i already know this story so it is kindda boring to me
tikitikitimbo chapter 8 . 11/11/2004
this is i and i says hi

at least im not board
tikitikitimbo chapter 8 . 11/11/2004
this is i and i says hi

at least i'm not boerd
tikitikitimbo chapter 5 . 11/11/2004
this is i and i says hi

i meant to tell you that hillary duff sucks. I think jen should be more comfy with pirates but since she isn't that is okay i guess

i forgot what dilbert looks like if i could remember it would be much better for his character
tikitikitimbo chapter 3 . 11/11/2004
this is i and i says hi

no i know you dud change her caracter like i was hoping for but you made her dumb (like you haha) which is not what i was thinking i like the drugs part
Dani i'm chaning my name to tikitikitimbo chapter 2 . 11/11/2004
from now on that is my name.

This is I and I say hi.

i don't like this so much b/c it isn't original enough. i would like it if the girl had more of her own style and not im only on chappie it gets beter. you know what is good titan A.E. yes you should make a fan fic off that.
126 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »