Reviews for Harry Potter and the Marcello School
omh666 chapter 36 . 6/24/2010
It just crossed my mind. Why hasn't Dumbledor tried using His phoenix to contact Harry? That would make more sense don't you think?
omh666 chapter 33 . 6/24/2010
Daaaammmn... That was... interesting.
omh666 chapter 32 . 6/24/2010
First off, that is a bad ass description of the old man. Second, I meant to say in my last review but forgot to do so. I think it's kind of cool that you had halloween fall on chapter 31. Even if it wasn't intentional, it's still a pretty cool thing. I loved this chapter more than all the others thus far. Keep up the great work.
omh666 chapter 31 . 6/24/2010
What did Harry do involving the window? How did he get it open and get out it in the time it took Ron to lift his head grab his wand and light it? And I'm assuming Harry transformed as well?
omh666 chapter 27 . 6/23/2010
Glad to see Harry actually acted on his feelings for once. And I didn't think you were really going to have Harry have infinate forms. That's interesting, but couldn't it end up being another way of him being over powerful? I've never read a good story where Harry is overly powerful.
omh666 chapter 22 . 6/23/2010
I was going to suggest moving the review responses to the end of the chapter. I hate reading them and always get annoyed having to skim through them to find the start of the chapter.
omh666 chapter 19 . 6/23/2010
I'm assuming that fast healing Harry experienced in chapter 12 or so was the phoenix powers. So what is going to be said if his powers heal the results of that punishment the teacher just gave him?
omh666 chapter 15 . 6/23/2010
So Harry's teacher is also a multi one? In chapter 13 you said:

Harry's tutor sat himself down in the middle of the large room, sitting on his heels. "My name is Horus, a name derived from my animagus form of a Hawk."

Then in this chapter you say:

Horus thought for a few seconds then nodded, a smile appearing on his face before he transformed into a magnificent eagle and soared out of the open door.

So either you made a mistake or he has more than one form as well.
omh666 chapter 14 . 6/23/2010
Does this mean Harry will have three forms? Including a phoenix which the kid said wasn't possible?
omh666 chapter 12 . 6/23/2010
I already think I'm going to enjoy the new school he's at. Keep up the good work.
omh666 chapter 9 . 6/23/2010
Let me guess. The old man is Nick? The one who made the sorcerer's stone?
old-crow chapter 55 . 5/28/2010

Thanks for taking the time and effort to put together such a quality story. It was a fun story to read. Thanks for sharing it.

I don't know if you are of the habbit of going back and tweaking your stories like I do, but the chapters with the letters from Harry would be stronger if we were to see Hermione's thoughts as she was reading them.

Just an idea.

Thanks again,

The Ramen Master chapter 10 . 4/27/2010
The story is redundant, we already know what happened but you explained the scene more than twice and reading over what happened is boring and unnecessary.
There are other more effective ways to 'get your characters informed' instead of writing a whole chapter summary on what happened the previous chapters.

The characterizations shallow, you only focus on character's anguish over Harry etc. There are more to these characters other than Harry worry. They got their own lives to deal with. Try exploring that to broaden your character's emotional depth.

The story is way to plot driven, take a chapter or two to develop your characters, beyond the scope and focus on Harry.
Jetaime chapter 21 . 4/8/2010
I don’t understand how a story can contain this much brutality, malice, viciousness and cruelty. Constantly demeaning and humiliating others doesn’t make for a great story. I don’t think well of Harry for tolerating it; I wonder why he hasn’t snapped. No one deserves this type of treatment.
Jetaime chapter 19 . 4/8/2010
I find this story very disturbing. It starts with a teenager who has been abused and neglected his entire life and who just lost a parent figure. Then he is kidnapped and tortured repeatedly. Once he escapes, he appears at a school where torture and cruelty is the name of the game. I find myself frowning in distaste as I read this even though it's reasonably well-written.
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