Reviews for Marauding: For Beginners
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 23 . 2/29/2012
I had to laugh. A hanky just doesn't have the same resonance as a diadem. Peter agreed with me.

I get that Kara is emotional about losing her parents, but why the secrecy? Her parents weren't doing anything wrong (so far as we know). She herself wasn't turned into anything. She didn't do anything to send them to their deaths. I'm not getting the shame angle.

"waste time", not "waist time".

I didn't enjoy this story quite as much as the first one in the series, mostly because of Kara. What's her problem, anyway? Sure her parents died a presumably horrible death. That we pretty much knew from the start because she was no longer living with them. But why the love/hate thing with Remus, and the instinctual hate thing with Sirius? And why all the secrecy? None of it made any sense, even after the big reveal. She seems to be there just to provide unnecessary tension. I'm more interested in the tension between James and Lily, and all the Marauders and Snape, and how Pettigrew fits into the Marauders. And I expect the Marauders to be playing lots of pranks, not all against Snape. And I found the hanky to be a funny substitute for the diadem, but I'm not sure it was supposed to be funny because people died for it.
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 21 . 2/29/2012
"Askim" is a truly inspired name for a house elf.

And once again Kara brings a wet blanket to smother a perfectly good party.
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 20 . 2/29/2012
"They sat down in there usual spots without any ado and simply went to eating they're meals." There are two "there/their/they're"s in this sentence and they're both wrong. It's really a fairly basic requirement of written English to learn these properly. Nowhere near as hard as "affect" and "effect".
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 19 . 2/29/2012
You shouldn't treat Slughorn's arrival as "coming out of retirement". That's already been done by JKR for Harry's sixth year. This should be Slughorn's first year of teaching, perhaps after an already illustrious career as a Master Potioner. Remember, he's 20 years younger than Harry knew him. Dumbledore's "tweak" is also pretty lame taken out of context like that. You should eliminate it because it doesn't fit here.

I don't get Remus's relationship with Kara. If she's got a problem why's he ignoring her and mocking her, and she's doing the same to him? Then the next time you look they're back to being nice, caring, dedicated cousins again. BTW, I hope she's not a vampire, because that would kill the story for me. The coincidence that one half-blood family would harbor both a werewolf and a vampire is too much. But there's got to be a big reason why she has no parents, has nightmares, and is ashamed of the past that left her that way. I also hope that her nightmares aren't the same as Harry's nightmares. That's been done by JKR. Finally, the end of the chapter makes Remus out to be a mindreader. The message from Kara was that she would be in to see him and talk, and from that somehow he correctly inferred that she wasn't talking to him any more. WTF?

If Pomfrey is using a "slave" on a wound instead of a "salve", no wonder it's not healing properly. And of course Remus can't "accept" visitors if he mistakenly "excepts" them instead.

I don't get Lily's comment that Snape had been 'extinguished'. Why is that supposed to make the Marauders think they should be nice to him now? He's still the same sorry excuse for a human being he always was. At first I thought you meant something else other than 'extinguished' but then I realized that the fireworks probably did set his robes on fire and had to be put out. But the sentence is still poorly worded because it doesn't express Lily's thought. Did she think it was too much trouble for Snape to drop and roll in order to save his own life? Did she think that fireworks were significantly more dangerous than the Dark spells that Snape had been using against the Marauders? Did she think that now that he was 'extinguished' his anger would no longer reignite? Was she objecting to his being 'extinguished'? As it stands it's a total nonsequitur.
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 13 . 2/29/2012
I always like coming up with possible solutions to problems posed by the author that were overlooked. When you describe the werewolf as trying to feed on its own flesh my first thought is to leave him with a big juicy steak to feed on.

Then I remember he's trying to attack because his own human scent is driving him crazy. So maybe the way to help him is to drug him up for 24 hours, either with muggle tranquilizers or a powerful wizarding sedative like Draught of Living Death or maybe a medical stasis spell. Or maybe a special potion that prevents him from smelling anything for 24 hours.

I also considered the idea of restraints, like you said Remus's father used, but I can't see how that would work because the human and wolf bodies are so different. A wolf's paw would slip right through a restraint sized for a human wrist or ankle.

I would never come up with the solution of JKR though. The idea that a werewolf would be less crazy if it had friends around even if they couldn't talk to him and had to pose as non-humans is just way too devious for my little mind. Or maybe it's that my friends add to my craziness.
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 12 . 2/29/2012
Professor Pike is so cool!
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 10 . 2/29/2012
"Every once and a while" should be "Every once in a while". What the saying means is "intermittently during a span of time", not "intermittently plus an additional span of time" which is the meaning of what you actually wrote.

How can killing five people be considered "just a hoax"? You must have meant "just a fluke", something that doesn't happen under ordinary circumstances.
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 9 . 2/29/2012
"being stubbornness"? That's not English, that's House Elf.

"accept" is not spelled "except". You actually know this because you spelled it correctly a paragraph or two later.

"set back" should be one word, not two.

James has apparently forgotten that he has an invisibility cloak and can get into the restricted section any night he pleases.

Poor Peter. He's most likely taking this very personal. Not only is he questioning whether Sirius is really his friend or not, but this happened in his one and only "good" class. The last thing he was expecting in this class was to fail or to displease the teacher, and the teacher refused to believe him that it was sabotage. His one refuge, his "safe" class, is now destroyed.

Being an unregistered animagus isn't so bad you'd be thrown into Azkaban. You'd just have to pay a fine and register. Remus might not have known that before this conversation, but it was one of the topics researched by James and Sirius. If you couldn't pay the fine you might have to go there for a short time, but it definitely wouldn't be "indefinitely".
RJLupinFan chapter 23 . 2/2/2008
hey, I liked this, it was nice. Feel sorry for Kara!
eweak chapter 10 . 5/6/2006
Hello hpfan2002,

I am Evik from Mugglenet fanfic site. I have finally magaed to get to read your story here. So far it's really good. I love the way you're writing Remus's thoughts and his point of view on the other Marauders.

I am off to read the following chapter.:)

SoloMoon chapter 19 . 1/16/2006
Wow. This was amazing. You did Remus and Sirius especially really really well, and Kara was a really cool OC. Wow.
FatRainCat chapter 23 . 11/18/2005
It's Over!

And thus you shall continue with your next update ASAP!

Or I shall sick angry, vicious cats on you!

Post Now!

It's good, as always, your style, the plot line, the way its written ... I LOVE IT!

Loyal Fan here asking you to please continue!

siriuscos chapter 23 . 11/13/2005
You were complaining to me to review your last chapter so I thought, what the hell? It was very good. Brought a new side of Kara out that isn't ever seen, the vunerable one. Obviously Sirius wasn't so pleased with that side.. Kara is supposed to be tough right? Yeah very nice. I loved the hug thing though.. I thought that was great. So where is my third story! I want Sirius' story. You should write that one now.. I need that. It would be great.

Good Job Aimee.

Undomiel2007 chapter 23 . 11/1/2005
Brilliant second installment! i can't wait to read the third! you really should talk to rowling about getting these published; if she's smart she'll agree to it. :) anyway can't wait to read more!
The Little Psychopath Reg chapter 22 . 10/19/2005
Woow.. Wonderful fanfic, I really do love it D

When will next chapter come?

Waiting.. Wishing for an quik uppdate..

-The Little Psychopath, RegĂ­..
127 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »