|Reviews for As One|
| NopeIntoTheSunset chapter 1 . 2/28/2009
Hahaha... nice, really. I love this pairing.
The first time I played, I liked the DartxShana couple, but when I replayed it... hell! I realized that Shana is... well, she sucks a lotta *censored*...
...Ah, sorry about that U *sweatdrop*. My point, is that DartxRose is much more... I dunno... but Rose is more useful in all senses, and her undenyable attraction to him... well, it looks better that the childish crush that Shana haves.
Anyways... I think that Rose was too... soft, actually. The Rose we see in the game would be more forceful, more rough. But hey, it's only normal for a woman to behave different than usual when she's with her lover. So... yeah, I don't see any real flaw, actually.
Keep up the good work, and even if you wrote this almost five years ago (wow, that's a good time, isn't it?), I hope you eventually write more for the couple
| confucius06 chapter 1 . 12/5/2008
you did an awesome job with this one. definitely keep working on your writing. you should be writing novels not fanfics... :)
| AngelsRevenge chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
| Nekoie chapter 1 . 6/30/2008
That Was Beautiful!
I love it!
| blackdeathmessenger chapter 1 . 3/17/2008
as far as oneshots go,it's pretty good.
| Basiliskos chapter 1 . 6/15/2007
FYI, Dart has brown hair
| Ginyou Rinsom chapter 1 . 2/4/2007
i have been looking for a good Rose/Dart one
keep up the good work
| Rpgsrock92389 chapter 1 . 1/14/2007
Overall, a very good short story, loved it!
| lady-warrioress chapter 1 . 11/20/2006
cool. i love this pairing. it's 10 times better than dartxshana
| ASM45 chapter 1 . 10/13/2006
I don't have a problem with lemon fanfics, but it really would have been better to have some kind of storyline (or plot) to go with it. You started off right with the sex, which to me seemed over OOC...or rather way over the top. Dart and Rose could have made a great couple (in the game) in my opinion, without the sex at all. However, just having the sex scene isn't going to make them really any better. There's no plot, there's really no substance that truly sticks with you about their personalities. You don't really mention the events leading up to the passionate sex scene (except a bar). So, while I was reading it...it just got boring really fast. Plus, you repeated yourself on numerous occasions. I write lemons all the time, but if every chapter is about sex...it's not really a story. People who write nothing but sex do it for the shock value or to get a lot of reviews, it's usually not about the quality. So, you may have a lot of positive reviews and that’s wonderful, but writing a sex scene…anyone can do it. If you can write a storyline and a plot…that my friend is real talent.
| ian chapter 1 . 5/5/2006
i think you need to make the story longer and add more story line try to tell the story from a charactor perspective
| Izukki chapter 1 . 2/17/2006
that was so great! And I think it totally turned me on!
| slayn chapter 1 . 12/12/2005
i loved it. i myself enjoy a good romance here and there, and the one you just gave to me sent chills up my spine. ive read similar stories, but none as descriptive and detailed as yours. you really know how to write a good love story. i look forward to reading another.
ps: you should contact me sometime, and maybe you can teach me to write that that. ive been trying for years but every love story i write sucks. either ive made it too fast and not that descriptive, or i always leave out key events... thank you for giving me the benefit of reading such a wonderful and fantastic story
| Reza Novaria chapter 1 . 11/5/2005
no, im not going to hesitate to review. i agree with you compleatly, dart and rose are the best pairing in the game, shanna is just to weak for my taste's, to. . . . childish.
| Twilightrayne chapter 1 . 8/18/2005
heh...got alittle descriptive there didn't we? Ah well I enjoyed, tought it was good the description you put behind it was amazing and yes Dart and Rose are a good pair probably the best suited in the game.