Reviews for The True Queen of the Mystics
Shade the Bat chapter 1 . 4/21/2010
I'll sum it up like this.

:D
Nini the Kakashi Obsessed chapter 1 . 3/31/2009
Very cute but just a 'little' OOC but that doesn't matter. This is fanfiction after all, and us writers can do whatever the hell we want with the characters(: Adorable, I loved it.

-Nini
Already Disturbed chapter 1 . 7/24/2006
Good fic! Good chronological order, well written, enjoyable. Only one thing's wrong with it: I WANT MORE! :P needs more chapters.
notoriousreviewer chapter 1 . 5/8/2006
I feel ashamed, utterly ashamed. Why? Because I know for a fact that I have read this before, but I don't seem o have reviewed. WHY? Why must my past self torment me so? Why did it not review this completely and totally awesome one-shot? Why...*breaks off into a long groan*

It was good for a first fic! Not perfect, but so absolutely wonderful anyhow. Man, do I wish I was Lucca...I think I like the tall, dark types, at least subconciously. For instance, in a dream I had once I had a killer crush on a man who seemed to be a mix of Magus, Severus Snape from Harry Potter (fan-fictionized, of course- he's not very attractive otherwise) and Shinomori Aoshi of Rurouni Kenshin (a manga and anime I absolutely adore.) Lucca is so darn lucky.

But Magus is pretty straightforward, no? It was very fun to read this story though. I love it! Now I have to go read more LuMa and have more dreams about tall, dark, attractive figures...those dreams are pretty fun! You should have one one day. Cheers!
evlmuffn chapter 1 . 9/21/2005
OH this is really good you need to write another chapter i luv it...its so kool! _
ShadowCatYumi08 chapter 1 . 6/10/2005
Aw...So, so touching in...well, that Magus sort of way. I absolutely love LuMa fics! In fact I've read your other more recent one before this. I guess I don't have to tell you that you're not a bad writer!
Gamma Ray Fred chapter 1 . 6/5/2005
Wow i was really impressed with this story; at first i thought it was kinda awkward...

Magus coming out of nowhere taking Lucca from the dead of night, to his own time simply to bed her. But it all worked out strangely well.

I guess the lack of dialogue and the kinda mystery that enveloped the story was what got me.

But i think it would have been better if it was longer and more plot bits to increase the romantic tension between Lucca and Magus; more description of how they displayed affection would be nice too...

It was still great though; though their wasn't any really deep plot the shear simplicity of the story worked out well
heofon chapter 1 . 5/28/2005
*finally got here...*

Let me start off by saying that this is THE best LuMa out there. It's short and doesn't really go into in-depth romance, but it's the only LuMa I've found so far that is not a light humor romance or a horrid, skin-crawling, sap-filled character butchery. Gah! There are some LuMas out there that literally made me cringe in shame in lieu of the author!

*...catches self* ...end of rant...

So yes, the main reason I like this fic is the darkish atmosphere (no dialgue really helped to pull the mood together, a great one, that one!) and the down-to-earth reasons for Magus' interest in Lucca (it's not 100% realistic, but you DO manage to make it so within the bounds of the fic).

The only thing I didn't like is the ending, but that's probably because I'm not too kin on the idea that every girl dreams of getting married or that only through marriage you can be together "righteously". Also, it seemed a bit off that Lucca would suddenly realize the 'impropriety' of her situation only two years after the fact... ;)However, it did give the whole thing a nice sense of closure and rounded the structure into a very coherent whole. There were other ways to do it, perhaps by a confession on Magus' part (one without the word 'love' though), but this one did the job as well.

The bit I really liked was the sex scene - no lemons and yet the "allowing herself to actually enjoy what he did to her" part was very poignant and definitely left an impression. I wasn't too keen on the next paragraph though and on Lucca cuddling up to Magus while once feeling safe. I would've preferred her just watching him sleep while thinking about the future and retrospecting on her life, but once more it's probably because I'm such a vehement enemy of mush ;)

As for the writing style, you mentioned at the beginning that this was your first fanfic, but trust me, it doesn't show! At no point during reading it did I stumble over the narration or was struck by something being grossly off. The style is very neutral and cautious though, as if you were a little worried about self-exposure, but I noticed in 'It Takes Two to Tango' that you've become much bolder in the techniques you employ.

As for grammar and spelling I'm not even going to comment on that, because you obviously know what you're doing and IMO the fact that something is grammatical is the prerequisite, not an advantage...

So overall, despite the slight excess of mush, it really is the best LuMa out there IMO! Now off you go to write some more of 'It Takes Two...' ;)
Katrina MacG chapter 1 . 12/21/2004
You know, you must have very little self-confidence if you think that this is bad. For a first fanfic, and a fanfic in general, this is a good story, although somewhat short. AND, furthermore, you didn't mess up on the grammer! That's a feat and a half right there! Almost every story I read is so poorly done, grammer-wise, that I usually have to read it again to make sense of it. Also, your story clearly explained . . . everything. . . Due to the results of reading this, I will look forward to reading more of your fabulous stories. Hehe... you should write some more, too!
TalkingMime chapter 1 . 11/2/2004
*uncharacteristically releases a short girlish squeal* Very cute. _ Rather uncharacteristic of Magus, but hey, after two years... Ehh, well *shrugs* people can change... err... well, really cute fic. And, wow, you pulled it off without any dialouge! _ Okay, I'll shut up now...
Almighty God of Paper chapter 1 . 10/17/2004
did i accidentally submit a half-written review? well, this is what i MEANT to write:

i really detest the LuMa pairing, because i don't know... they just don't seem to work out (and the game never gave a single hint to a relationship... actually, the only relationship of magus's that they hinted at was magusXschala... which i still don't like. magus is a loner, he doesn't work with anyone).. but, this was a really cute story, and the ending made me go, "aw..." i've read some of your fics, and even though i hate the pairing, you really do write good LuMa fics. and this fic was so cute! )
The Dragon Sorceress chapter 1 . 9/4/2004
One of the Best I've read..
Swan chapter 1 . 8/16/2004
AW! ABSOLUTELY CUTE! I want a next chapter! ::puppy eyes:: PLEASE?
MikariStar chapter 1 . 7/29/2004
I loved this story it's original and different from any other lumas I've read so far _
Heavenly Grace chapter 1 . 6/19/2004
Interesting...a bit different then most LuMa fics in my opinion. But cool none the less!
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