Reviews for Mutual Collapse
Rebelbot chapter 2 . 3/21/2007
please update soon I want to know what happens next
keiko chapter 2 . 9/15/2004
Wow! That was absolutely gorgeous! You captured the emotion of everyone so well! I hope to see more of your work soon!-
SaberKarra Knight chapter 2 . 4/30/2004
WH00T, more Brigadoon goodness! Can't wait to read more! _ And yes, you HAVE to see the sixth DVD, oit's so awesome, the ending is perfect! I won't say anymore, so I won't spoil it for you :) Anywho, keep up the good work!
Wandering Namek chapter 2 . 4/18/2004
Well I can't say much about the characterization because I don't know the fandom, but I will compliment you on the transition from sighted descriptions to blind ones. It was funny because suddenly it all started making perfect sense. :) You've done it right so far.
There's something you can incorporate into later chapters if you want to, it's called sound shadows. That swish you hear when you drive by parked cars or that 'sense' you get when someone is in the room without having to look(if they're standing close enough, two or three feet). Air is always, always, ALWAYS moving and when something blocks it you'll hear the difference. Just put your hand up next to your ear sometime and you'll 'feel' it there. The best way to do this is close your eyes and have someone walk silently around you. You'll feel them moving because they block some of the air moving around the room. Sound shadows are fun :) Keep that in mind when you write, it's a sensation that might help Marin fight in later chapters. I'm not saying it works all the time, but as one who relies on it I'd say it's 80% effective.