|Reviews for Home Sweet Home|
| A Persnickety Haberdashery chapter 8 . 7/24/2011
The storyline, overall, is good. However, you need to work on your tenses, because you keep mistaking the past, present, and future tenses. Also, you have added some redundant words in some cases, where you have already previously stated the same thing using another word, or in a previous sentence, or a following sentence. It's overkill, and you should avoid doing that.
"Everything he have told her were all true." "Everything he [had] told her [was] true."
- "have" and "were" are the incorrect tenses; and
- "all" is redundant because the use of "everything" means the same thing, in this case.
"He never open up to anyone like he did with her. He was confuse with his feeling more then she was." "He never [opened] up to anyone like he did with her. He was [confused] with his [feelings] more [than] she was."
- "open" and "confuse" are the wrong tenses;
- "feeling" ought to be plural, not singular; and
- "then" is the wrong word/homonym.
Short sentences are good because it lets your readers read and understand what they are reading much better than longer sentences. However, there are such things as too short, and they can be overused.
You need to link some of these sentences with conjunctions, or at least lengthen them. They are too abrupt and short otherwise. Especially when you already have short paragraphs, and all they are composed of are very short sentences.
"Everything he have told her were all true. He never open up to anyone like he did with her. He was confuse with his feeling more then she was."
(2) The above paragraph given in example (1) is then followed by the paragraph below, which is also composed of too many short sentences for an already-short paragraph: overkill.
"She got up and ran toward the tower where Jean-Luc was captured. He actually love her. Someone who didn't care about her power. Someone who's willing to get close. Even if she didn't come back to help him. He'll like to keep in touch with her. Maybe even sneak into her bedroom when no one was around. He's willing. Even willing to become an X-Men, just to be with her."
Otherwise, good effort though!
| tfobmv18 chapter 18 . 4/15/2008
I like it. Its cute. I like the time travel reference in regards to Nathan. Raven and Jean-Luc flirting (guess we know who Remy learned it from). The LeBeaus must love to flirt alot. Keep up the good work.
| RoyalPrincessHinataHyuga chapter 18 . 10/26/2007
aw that was so sweet i loved IT LOVED IT!
| gambitfan85 chapter 17 . 8/17/2007
Very enjoyable Romy fic.
| Navigator101 chapter 3 . 6/21/2007
I'm not really giving a reveiew so much as asking a question you said that Rogue and Remy are the main characters in X-treme X-men the comics if that is true then that just might be the one i'll buy because I was planning on buying the complete set of one X-men saga in comics and I was waiting untill I could figure out which would be the best to buy bacuse I wanted it to have lots of Romy so could you please e-mail me back and tell me if this is the one i'm going to want to buy.
P.S great story so far
| TheUltimateGambit91 chapter 18 . 2/28/2006
dude...THATS A LOT OF PREGNANT X-GALS! LOL but it was okay, not the best ending but yeah it was alright but try to re-read it ok? its a little confusing at points, you need to sort it out mon ami okay? :D
| TheUltimateGambit91 chapter 16 . 2/28/2006
dude you need to get your facts straight!LOL. but still yay! dey're all okay! except for etienne of course *sob* sad stuff. oh well tres bon job! :D oh man now remy's accent is rubbing off on moi! and it don't help dat i'm high! damn dem choc chip cookies! and i'm supposed to be home sick too! lol ok i'm gonna stop being random and keep on reading your fic:D feel free to call me a freak. i don't care:)
| TheUltimateGambit91 chapter 14 . 2/28/2006
firstly i like you story, its good! secondly i know that this must be quite annoying when ppls tell ya this ( i feel your pain, read some of da reviews i bloody get!) but you should re-read ya story and look at some o'da spellin and sentancing mistakes. you got...well you got quite a few (don't hurt moi!)and it makes this story a lil' hard ta read ya kno? anyway i'll shuttup and keep reading. :D
| TheUltimateGambit91 chapter 2 . 2/28/2006
NOT ENOUGH ROMY FLUFF! NEED MORE ROMY FLUFF! but appart from that, it''s ALL good!
| musagirl15 chapter 18 . 2/8/2006
That was really cute.
| DELETED D3L3T3D chapter 18 . 7/16/2005
| roguelover00 chapter 18 . 7/12/2005
| unearthlyangel89 chapter 18 . 12/26/2004
i loved it wow
| unearthlyangel89 chapter 1 . 12/26/2004
Hey i have a questioned what happened in the episode cajun spice e-mail me please with a summary
label it cajun spice thanks
| shan chapter 18 . 12/3/2004
I loved it. i love Rogue and Remy storys