|Reviews for Solstice II spring & summer|
| FatimaSnape chapter 15 . 1/17
It allows the reader to get a good picture in their head without getting slightly confused at the change of scenery, then having to pick up a nice flow again with their reading, only to stop again because of a grammar error.
Like I said before, I do like your writing a lot, but those two things (POV switching and spelling/grammar mistakes) bother me the most. Your story reads well and I find myself caring very much about the characters and the direction the story is going.
Sorry to have written such a long review, but with most fics I tend to only review once (out of laziness) and I figure I might as well say everything I wanted to.
Thank you for writing such an amazing fic and I hope everything is merry and well in your life XD
| FatimaSnape chapter 14 . 1/17
The story is starting to feel a little...forced. The ridiculous anger that Ron displayed, I can deal with. It *is* Ron. But the anger that Draco and Harry have displayed is a bit odd to me. If Harry's problem would have been that he was channeling Voldemort's hatred through is curse scar; like in fifth year, I would have understood. But this anger seems to be coming from only him and Harry isn't like that.
Another thing I find odd is Draco not being able to tell when someone is teasing him. He is a Slytherin. A Slytherin that has teased people all his life. He should be able to handle a little banter without blowing up on someone even if his life has been a bit turned around. In fact, because of his current situation, he should be a bit more sarcastic and teasing than normal. I feel like he's drifting away from his Slytherin mannerisms right now.
I will go ahead and say that I am not a huge fan of Snape & Tonks. She is the complete opposite of him (which I know you already know lol) and I feel like Snape wouldn't be able to deal with being around her for so long. The relationship seems a bit forced.
The actual reason I am writing this review is because of this chapter in particular.
Dumbledore is shown as kind, quiet, gentle and godfatherly like in one chapter, then strict and harsh in another chapter. It totally threw me off guard when I read about Draco's punishment for the dementor thing in 3rd year. He was only 13, and to force a 13 year old (whose life and bad experiences you nothing about) to stand in front of a dementor and experience those terrible things is cruel. Dumbledore argued that he didn't want the dementors around the school at all because of the children, then he goes and sticks one in a room and forces the children to deal with it? What if something went wrong and his patronus died? I don't know, I feel like that punishment was definitely not very Dumbledore'ish. But then again, Dumbledore has never seemed like a decent person to me.
Back to what I was originally trying to say: I think Dumbledore dealt with this a bit harshly. He is forcing Harry to go to St. Mungos, where DE are sure to infiltrate and spoke "sternly" to Draco, who is obviously having a hard time coping and just got a pretty strong Cruciatus thrown at him. Like if there is one time that you should be gentle and caring, the time would have been right then and there when Draco was seriously freaking out.
I can officially say that I dislike this story's Dumbledore. That is of course not saying anything about you as an author (other than typos, you are a great author), and I really didn't have much faith in Dumbledore to begin with lol
Lupin seems quite in character. We don't see him a ton in this story (or the last), but I do enjoy the fact that he is around and Harry has one other person that he can talk to about things if he wants to.
Speaking of Harry: Seriously, what is Harry's damage? He's been acting very "whoa is me" and it has gotten to be very annoying. I was kind of glad that Ron lost his temper and hit him. Harry did know that Ron had feelings for Hermione and what is he doing kissing Ginny, then kissing Hermione two seconds later? I understand that Ginny's was a mistake. But good gods, Harry obviously needs to shag someone. Hormones have gone a bit crazy, it seems. He gets so angry at everyone for trying to help and he can't keep throwing Sirius' death into everything. Sirius is dead. DEAD. Get over it. It's a bit harsh, but get over it. He is surrounded by people that love him (Draco's assessment of Harry's friends is not incorrect) and instead of showing a bit of gratitude, he keeps throwing it in their face that they're not Sirius. And his anger at Snape for what happened during the apparating lesson was completely uncalled for. He knows that Snape verbally lashes out at people and Snape did apologize and he was right to tell Harry that he apologizes for what he said, but Harry was still wrong.
Harry's totally acting like a little shit and I hate that Hermione is insisting on not arguing with him or anything because he's been through a lot and his life is hard.
Minerva is very very out of character and I thought that it would annoy me, but I find that I like it. She is strict when needed, but very motherly at the same time. I do not like that she left Draco when he blamed Harry for the quidditch accident. She could have easily gotten out of him that he had feelings for Hermione, had she of tried. I know she had work to do for her firsties, but Draco needs support and Minerva is the one person he likes physical contact from and seems to crave affection from and she walked out on him. That kind of sucked. My heart went out to him and all his rage. Other than that, I like Minerva a lot and I hope she kind of stays the way she has been, motherly to her three boys (Snape included!). It's super super sweet and fluffy and 'awww' inducing.
This is a bit long, but I only reviewed Solstice like once and I wanted to kinda air out the things I've been thinking since my last review.
I find it odd that Draco's guardianship papers contain more than one name. It seems to me that guardianship should contain the names of a single person or that person and their spouse. The fact that there are like 4 people on the papers; and they aren't even related, is a bit odd. Of course I've never drawn up guardianship papers and I haven't a clue what the rules are about it, but I think that four people seems a bit excessive? I believe it to be emotionally excessive too. I understand Snape being on the papers because he looks at Draco (and apparently Harry) as a son. I also understand Minerva being on the papers (if another teacher *had* to be on there) because she would come in as a mother figure and I totally agree with whatever character that said everyone needs a mother figure. I'm surprised that Snape allowed Dumbledore to be on the papers. I thought he would try to keep Dumbledore's manipulations away from Draco. Keep him as far away from the war effort as possible. Speaking of, Snape allows Dumbledore to do quite a bit. He lashes out at everyone, but lets Dumbledore kind of do and say what he wants. I understand that it's Dumbledore's school, but I don't know...I expect more of a back bone from Snape.
One more thing (probably): I totally hate Molly being at the school. The children are 16. They don't need her fussing all over them and treating them like they are 5. And giving Ron a detention for punching Harry? After Ron, on his own, told her what he did? First of all, he didn't tell her as a teacher. He told her as his parent and if she wanted to do something to punish him, she should have thought of something a bit more mum'ish and less professor'ish. Second, if a child tells you that they've done something wrong on their own, giving them anger and punishment will not make them want to tell you anything else too soon. Especially since Ron is so stubborn. By the way, I love that Ron's patronus in this fic is a bull. It totally fits him. I've always thought Ron was rather bull-like. I also like Draco's being Snape's animagus. I was like YAASSSSS when I read that.
Snape is my favourite character in this story. Hands down. He is a bit out of character, but what Snape story like this is completely in character? The closest I can think of is In Blood Only, but he is kind of an arse in that fic and I feel completely sorry for that Harry.
Snape is amazing in this fic and I love how much he cares about Harry and Draco. I can literally feel the love that he feels for Draco. You write him and his feeling so well. I love it. I love that I can also feel his anger when I read it. His emotions are grrrannnnd. One complaint I have is how often people have to point out the obvious to him. Snape is very intelligent, as Hermione said, and he should be able to see what's in front of his face. He's an adult and a Slytherin, even when he is seeing red, he should be able to see why Draco is acting like an arse. Harry too. He doesn't need Minerva or Tonks trying to explain to him why the boys are upset. They should be telling him to calm down and not to ruin his relationship with them. He's smart enough to know why they are angry or what is bothering them. That's pretty much my only complaint about his character (and falling for Tonks of all people XD). Your Snape actually reminds me of A Year Like None Other's Snape. Very loving, but stern and quite terrible at times too.
I am not sure if I will continue reading after this chapter, mostly because of the St. Mungos thing, and the fact that the adults seem to have their heads up their arses, but I really do like this fic. If you haven't put it on Potioins & Snitches, you totally should. I believe this is definitely classified as SnapexHarry (not slash/romantic) fanfic. You are a great writer and other than the numerous grammar mistakes, your story flows very smoothly. I do recommend that you put more breaks (a series of periods, asterisks, etc.) in between places where a different character's POV is show. It will jump from say Draco walking out of a door immediately to Harry sitting down in the common room sighing. There should definitely be some sort of visible line or line of characters there so that we know the POV and scene is switching to another character/setting. It is a bit jarring to go from the dungeons and Draco's POV of arguing with Snape or whatever to another characters POV and setting the next sentence. That does mess up the flow. I know this story was written a long time ago, and there is a part three and you've probably moved on to bigger and better fics, but if you ever happen to read this review and you aren't already including breaks between the POVs, I think you should. It allows the reader to get a good picture in their head without getting slightly confused at the change of scenery, then having to pick up a nice flow again with their reading, only to stop again because of a gram
| tigerlily124 chapter 48 . 11/16/2014
Wow! I Loved this! Fantastic job! I feel really bad for Severus right now. Draco and Harry too of course.
| Sophie chapter 12 . 11/12/2014
This chapter was brilliant as always but Ron's patronus was a Jack Russel Terrier wasn't it.
| Sophie chapter 4 . 11/10/2014
Ahhh poor Ron but OMG Harry and Hermione, what about DRACO and Hermione their relationship was so lovely I really wanted them to end up together, sooo many feels!
| Sophie chapter 3 . 11/10/2014
Ahhhh Draco! All I wan't to do is give him a hug right now!
| Sumi Anzu chapter 29 . 11/6/2014
"You don't understand!" Draco said flatly
"About what? Your hormones are raging, you fancy yourself in love with Ms. Parkinson, as well as, perhaps, Ms Granger. Or maybe there are more?" said Snape sardonically.
Draco grabbed his cloak and stormed out without a word.
I laughed at the Snape witty comeback and sadden that he really didn't understand what Draco was going through..
Beside, when Snape petting his cat, Loki, I cant help feel of Loki, god of Mischief. I meant it could be him since he is shape-swifter
| Sumi chapter 28 . 11/6/2014
"Harry, what happened to Draco?" Harry didn't know how to answer. He had made a promise.
i like how harry is sooo tightlipped and keep his word no matter how noisy or ppl pressure to ask about Draco's condition.
| loki-fan13 chapter 17 . 11/6/2014
"The Author is hungry, please feed the author, chocolate is good but in lieu of chocolate - reviews are tasty, too."
mannn harry is like hormonely teen on PMS. Draco is drowning in whiskery due to status change. But good old Hermonie is there to comfort him Love Dracomine
| Elaine Weasley chapter 1 . 7/6/2014
i forgot to push the fav button on my other review...
| Sumi Anzu chapter 32 . 12/30/2013
finally hermione went to harry for some in sight/ hint on what happen to malfoy.
I glad that draco didnt have a one-night stand with some stranger and it was just Tonk trying to comfort and get him to talk about what happen..
| Sumi Anzu chapter 25 . 12/30/2013
Fav or memoriable parts
1. Lucius word of dark lord liking young blonde, Draco horrify by realization that his own father offered him like a pimp to be violated.
2. "As the intensity of Draco’s shivers, increased [Harry] pulled him closer, whispering reassurance. Eventually exhaustion closed over Draco as he fell limply against Harry’s arm. He whimpered softly, “Hurts so much.”
After assumed violation of Draco, harry atempt to comfort his ex-rival/ enemy.
touching and sad. Feel terrible for draco pain
| Sumi Anzu chapter 48 . 12/29/2013
There seem to be hope of Headmaster, Prof D, to be alive!
| Sumi Anzu chapter 43 . 12/29/2013
The y should really upgraded a defense mechanism like a shield that prevented ppl with dark mark to drop in or close to Hogwart.
-maybe hired security guards or creatures.
- camera or the people in portraits could report to the guards.
I meant in first year a troll got all the way in and went in school bathroom. nearly kill hermione.
all they got is a janitor and one half giant living at egde of the school.
if they upgraded, maybe headmaster and others need to die . (again book/ film)
| Sumi Anzu chapter 40 . 12/29/2013
I am relief that no rape happen to Draco, but it acutally meomry of his father not taken by the dark lord. however,
I still feel disgusted that Lucius raped at same age as Draco.
I feel bad and some sympathy for lucius now but still he is terrible person all the beating and intentionally implanted that traumatizing memory into his son.
I like how u give us a reason why he is soo twisted or being the person who he is. He cant love cuz he never been loved, he got broken and violated.
still hate him