|Reviews for The Twenty|
| deliciousflowerfire chapter 8 . 6/20
Crookshanks featuring, a lot of girl power... yay
| TashaRose chapter 25 . 6/16
Amazing and thorough story idea. This was quite a novel. Excellently written. Good characterizations. Good plot. Bravo all around.
| DoobyDoobyDooBopAgentP chapter 25 . 4/24
wow this was an awesome story. Kudos to you
| vijaykumar chapter 1 . 4/8
Greetings to you in the name of lord jesus christ.
brother,my name is vijaykumar.i am a preacher in uppugundur church of i am doing of god's work is going very well.
our surroundings also i am doing our god's work was done.
brother i am seeing in internet .in that your work was very nice and also your effort is very good.
in that mission work is done in different great work was done.
so,please add me and our congregation in your mission trip.I am doing only our god's our congregation 75 members are
attend in every come in india and see my work.i want to interest to do god's work with you and your cooperation.
please add india mission work in your trip.i am believe with you brother.
| I like tea chapter 25 . 4/3
Thank you very much for this story! I really like it and I have read it several times already. It is in my personal top three of the HP fanfictions!
| Guest in Europe chapter 25 . 2/27
I've skipped over this story a couple times, hesitating to deal with what seemed to be a story with an overtly religious sub-text, but finally I succumbed and I am so glad I did. I really enjoyed your compelx and beautiful tale.
Thank you for your wonderful work and for sharing it.
Given that it is now sometime since you uploaded it, I sincerely hope your own life is in a happier place than when you finished this. My condolences on your sad loss and best wishes for you.
| jensteed chapter 25 . 2/1
It was a good story and I had a lot of fun reading.
| Fantomette34 chapter 25 . 1/6
Encore une fois bravo pour votre écriture et merci pour la fin heureuse entre Hermione et Severus (il mérite tant de connaître le bonheur ).
Mille mercis pour ces merveilleux moments de lecture !
Bonne et Heureuse Année 2015 !
| Fantomette34 chapter 24 . 1/6
Merveilleuse fic sur HG/SS, j'ai adoré totalement votre manière de raconter cette intrigue passionnante !
Félicitations pour votre travail de qualité !
| Luna de Papel chapter 25 . 12/22/2014
This was an amazing ride, even after all the time (and books) between you writing and me reading. I enjoyed it immensely despite the lack of the promised epilogue :)
Merry Christmas to you, and a happy 2015.
| mama123 chapter 24 . 11/21/2014
What an amazing story! ! Well thought out. Slow building and exciting at the same time. Its so so long yet no part is boring! Attention to details. A very believable AU story. Well done!
I saw ur story in many people's fav stories but never read because I didn't find the summary appealing.
I am glad I read it now. Thank you for sharing!
| melodyssister chapter 1 . 11/20/2014
Thank you for this great story. I don't know if you are still looking at reviews, but I recced this today on the One_Bad_Man community on LiveJournal.
| Ashlee chapter 1 . 11/5/2014
I always thought this story was under reviewed about to read this story for the twentieth time
| GoldenGryphon chapter 11 . 10/30/2014
I just wanted to let you know that another Texas girl is enjoying your story. I really like the several sub-plots that you're balancing rather well as you work forward. I look forward to seeing how things come together for your assorted characters.
I have been apart from The Church for a few years. I did spend some time practicing Wicca for about 10 years - got pretty good at being a solitary eclectic witch with a Celtic base (yes, that's like describing yourself as being Southern Reform Baptist - it all means something to someone). Having grown up on military bases, I have seen and been a part of more different denominations of Christianity than most people. I agree - the pagentry and ritual of a full Catholic Easter service - done in Latin - was the most...impressive and religious experience I've had so far. I was greatly disappointed to find out that they had stopped the Latin services. They were fabulous!
I have always believed in a Higher Power, but I refuse to limit that Higher Power to human minds and thought - The Infinite Is is bigger than any of us can possibly imagine and, probably, more forgiving than we have a right to expect. So DA and I finally found a church we could agree on - a bit off the beaten track and probably only available here in the Southern Bible Belt - but once I had too much of the "if you believed more strongly, God would cure your cancer" or "God gave you your cancer for a reason" statements, we stopped going. We may go back someday - once I'm done being upset at the mindset of small-minded, well-meaning but infernally stupid people. Sigh.
I spend a lot of my time at M. , and tend to be around the volunteer headquarters which is under the chapel - makes for a nice break, to wander into the chapel between services and let the peace of the place wash over me.
And all that was to let you know that I appreciate your story on several levels. I have done the research in this world (as opposed to the world you've created and the Hogwarts world) about the power inherent in women from a religious and metaphysical standpoint. I have done my best to fit in with both the Catholic and Christian church theologies and have found peace there, though not as much as I might have. I had followed the same questioning of the "should I or not" bit that most teenage girls go through and still regret giving in to peer pressure.
I love reading this story and seeing how you various characters try to balance their own beliefs against the backdrop of war; how the girls fight against a patriarchy that seems determined to render them powerless (even though it is occasionally represented by the women in charge they are controlled by the man in charge); how the respect Hermione feels for Severous is slowly turning into a true love of the man himself, and how he is being attracted to her as well; and how all it would take is one wrong move by one well-meaning person for the entire, carefully constructed house-of-cards to come falling down.
You are a great writer with great characterization. Your people behave well in the world you have created for them. You keep to the rules of Your World and make the story interesting by doing so.
Yes, you have a few misspellings. Who doesn't? Yeah, a few words are out of place or should have been replaced with others. No biggie. You have a few continuous errors (Your when you mean you're) but it's not a hanging offense. Your story is more than readable, it's enjoyable.
I look forward to finishing this story and possible reading a few others - November is coming, so I'll be doing NaNoWriMo and that will keep me busy for a time. Doesn't mean I won't have time to read, but that I will be busy with my own writing in between everything else that has to be done - then I'll have time to read.
| RafeFallstar chapter 1 . 10/3/2014
I just started this, and while there are incidents of incorrect word usage and questionable grammar, the way you use Catholicism as a backdrop is excellent. A few minor quibbles though:
1) The Memorare is generally said for oneself, not for others. The repeated "I" is the clue.
2) For some reason, pious men tend to become devoted to Mary and pious women to Jesus. This isn't universal, but it is noteworthy that Louis d'Monfort wrote True Devotion to Mary, while women wrote about Divine Mercy and the Sacred Heart. Why? I heard it is because men want a woman to help and women want to get to the one in charge directly, but that seems dubious to me.
3) You almost got the Catholic use of prayer right, but there are some slip ups. Catholics ask those in heaven to ask God for help, somewhat like how one might ask a family member to ask a parent for something for you. You might ask directly, but you feel more comfortable with others asking also. (A really old school Catholic might say one does not prays to change what God already decreed from the beginning, but to be worthy of the good and to worthily endure the trials set out for all.)
While I am no longer Catholic, I know the religion well enough.
As to the situation you present, I like it. The Malfoys always struck me as being more concerned with matters of Aesthetics than of Ethics. That's why their ideology is based on Purity, but they have no moral qualms. Even Draco's problem with killing Dumbledore was not ethical, but of self-image-it would be ugly and so he would be ugly.
Of course, if the tension between ethics and aesthetics is the conflict, you create a connection between the person who makes the art and the person who finds delight (and possibly instruction) in the art. However, where the artist (or Hermione, at least) sees it as a prayer and an expression of a truth in the soul, the receiver (and Pansy) sees it as a distraction.
Well done so far! I hope it keeps on this level.