Reviews for FF6 poems
MezzyTheObliviousGirl chapter 3 . 8/22/2007
I love that last poem! I always thought the two had a deeper connection than just Inceptor. It's beautiful!
drakonlily chapter 3 . 9/26/2004
This isn't your strongest work; however, I don't think that it is bad. The rhyme isn't the issue; I think it is the spacing and the pacing. With less punctuation and structure, this poem would rely on spacing for the reader to pace themselves.

Try playing with tabs and indentations?

By far, I think the greatest thing about this work is the way the first few lines draw you in.

" You watch me from the edge of light

with colors in your eyes

And though I my face away

you cut through my disguise

You see me, a broken mirror,"

Watching with colors of eyes instead of just eyes is a wonderfully romantic way to bring out a detail without being sappy.
drakonlily chapter 2 . 9/26/2004
Another strong work. Have you checked out ? It’s a wonderful site for poets, you have to apply for membership, but you should have no problem getting in. On to the review.

I cannot praise your use of punctuation enough. It all flows so well, and as more of a slam poet myself, I have a deep respect for the sturdiness of your work.

These lines are strong due to the repetition of "bright"

"so bright, and no more solid than the air.

But no regrets – these have been happy days.

-

I used to walk alone in younger days.

The paths were bright; there was no need for fear."

My one critic, and you don't do it in this poem, but I've seen people go that way in classes of mine, is to be careful of clichés. They haunt us all, and you do a wonderful job of just missing them time and again. Your ending is as strong as your start, and you keep great control over the work.
drakonlily chapter 1 . 9/26/2004
You know, I thought when I read your review that I should read your stuff. It took me forever to get here, and it was MY LOSS. This is beautiful! You have a grasp of alliteration and style that just makes the work beg to be read aloud. Its rhythm and quality is strong and just stunning to read.

These lines had particularly great sound to them:

"so still and fragile, ghosts of stone and steel

still haunt these halls, these sunlit vaults of time"

"faded, threadbare remnants, tattered silk

that crumbles at the touch of wind or breath,"

You also have a great grip of punctuation here, everything you place seems needed.

The one thing that I can say as any form of critic that can help you is to watch the overuse of words. "Still" worked great for me, up until the third time I read it.

Great work.
annainwonderlandd chapter 1 . 7/23/2004
You write gorgeous poems and give great adivce to fic writers. Keep on going, sweetie, you're awesome with this stuff. xoxoxo
Rocket chapter 3 . 6/28/2004
*fistshake* I was actually writing a Shadow and Relm one-shot because there's so few fanfics about them, and look who beats me to the punch. ;) Very nice rhythm, and (as I've come to expect from you at this point) lovely imagery. Well done!
cobalt dragonfly chapter 2 . 6/3/2004
Wow, just read your sestina. I think my head would explode if I tried to write one. Yours seemed effortless, and had great meter too! Even though I haven't played this FF game, I truly felt the characters. Lovely work! P.S. Thanks for the great feedback on my fics, it's good to know someone's reading!
haruechan chapter 2 . 6/1/2004
Amazing... And with that point of view, even a Setzer/Terra romance isn't a bad idea... (And I'm a Edgar/Terra fanatic!) But the passionate way you wrote everything... it was just perfect...

Sorry about the english mistakes...
haruechan chapter 1 . 6/1/2004
Wow...

Don't know what else to say...

I wasn't expecting anything, since most of poems here aren't that great... But since it was about Terra I had to check it out...

And it was worth it...
Rocket chapter 1 . 5/11/2004
These are great. Major props for not forcing the Setzer/Terra pairing on the reader.
It's nice to see a fanfiction author that treats the stories and characters with respect.
DeadAccountHere chapter 2 . 5/7/2004
I don't know about you... but I certainly liked them. D I give em' an eight outta ten. Truly classy stuff, myah. lol. Gonna be writing any more poems?