|Reviews for Cumulus|
| machievelli chapter 1 . 4/3/2010
To be posted 2 Apr 2010 on StarwarsKnights under The Critic returns and Lucasforums under the Critic’s Two Cents.
KOTOR aboard Endar Spire: The hero watches what will happen with faint amusement.
The piece is a generic retelling of the fight aboard the ship. There isn’t much beyond that except for a satirical mental sidebar. Calling Trask a walking tutorial
Which when you think of it, is exactly what he is.
| Sarah chapter 4 . 1/27/2006
Wow! That was so funny! You really need to update this and soon.
| Queenofinsanity chapter 4 . 1/9/2006
sounds good, keep it coming
| DryBonesxValley chapter 1 . 11/13/2005
Brilliant and continue!
| ItsButter chapter 4 . 1/29/2005
Thanks. Your point about level being a tutorial because it doesn't make sense inspired a story idea...
| sammie teufel chapter 4 . 8/20/2004
"invincible security papers" hehe...
| sammie teufel chapter 3 . 8/13/2004
okay, how long has it been since an update? please, consider me hooked. but i want more! gr!
| gamorrean princess chapter 3 . 8/4/2004
Love it! Your Revan is priceless-I love the humor and the conversations with Carth. I love the idea of an "armada of lookouts." Write more-fast!
| Krazed Kaioshin Fangirl chapter 3 . 7/1/2004
Nice work, I loved this chapter, once again.
I found it creative, and fun, that you have them talking during a fight. It makes it more interesting, and it's cute. Like they're fighting, but not really that hard. I also like how you make little comments, after the fight, during the following conversation. Little personal thoughts. :)
And I think my favorite line might have been "Apparently his speech abilities were directly proportional to his height." Hillarious!
And I like the subtle flirting that happens. The knocking the hip into him and resting her shin on his shoulder, the leaning against him and whispering, adorable.
I also enjoyed how you brought up that the Bek lookout is not very good at her job. That had me spitting milk out my nose! I never really thought about it before... but you're right.
All in all, I am thouroughly loving this fic! Keep it up, and I'm sorry for the long review, but I decided to start saying everything I think of when reading. So here. Look at all this love. Keep it up, and I love the humor!
| sammie teufel chapter 3 . 7/1/2004
i like it-a good, quick read, with plenty of humor. you're setting things up nicely-it's plain you plan ahead, and that's really going to help you out as you get into the later chapters. good luck, and fast updates!
| Arrikazza chapter 2 . 5/18/2004
Hehe, your character just gets better and better. I have to literally stop myself from laughing at some of her thoughts because everyone's alseep here. I'm enjoying this so much. More. [face_beg]
| debbie-l-g chapter 1 . 5/5/2004
Aha! So the plot thickens...
I like the directions you're taking this story...the one about why is everything so easy and how do people "know" things without looking or touching or being warned.
| Gollo chapter 1 . 5/5/2004
Great story so far. Like Prisoner 24601 I normaly dislike fictions writen in first person view, but you realy did a great job. Update soon
| Prisoner 24601 chapter 1 . 5/5/2004
Good start. You have a nice writing style which allows the story to flow well. I find that I usually dislike reading stories in the first person, but you pull it off well.
I liked the bit about running around in the underwear. I was kind of disappointed when your character put clothes on, I thought it would be kind of funny if she went through the whole ship like that.
My only suggestion is to resist the temptation to go through every event, sidequest and conversation in the game. I'm mentioning this because your next chapter is Taris, and people (including myself) tend to get bogged down in the details when writing that chapter. I would just pick out the key scenes that you need to advance the story and focus on them.
I look forward to seeing more.
| Arrikazza chapter 1 . 5/4/2004
Thanks for telling me you posted. Hehe, I like you character. Can't wait to see more.