Reviews for Give The World
No Name chapter 9 . 5/27/2009
Chapters are too short, don'tcha think? :\

Gonna keep reading now. :)
No Name chapter 7 . 5/27/2009
HA!

Serge is suddenly such an ass... :\
No Name chapter 5 . 5/27/2009
Funny that Lynx makes a good teacher...

Although i can't help but feel for Serge. Poor guy. :(

Okay, back to reading! :)
No Name chapter 2 . 5/27/2009
Ha Ha Ha. :)

French. :D

Good stuff, good stuff.

...

I'm gonna keep reading. :)
lonewolf chapter 21 . 4/4/2007
WOW 0 . 0
lonewolf chapter 21 . 4/4/2007
awesome story and just take it slow it will come to you[or not...T_T]
Kagome1514 chapter 11 . 4/24/2006
Hate to nit-pick...but your French is a little bit unrealistic. You stick in the word "moi" when normal English is "I". If the subject is "I" that would be "je" in French. "Moi" doesn't work there. So...it sounds like Harle is really dumb.

“Can moi(ME) just ask one favor of you?” Harle asked quietly. Serge nodded in a reply. “When you come to zee(Believe it or not, they do have the 's' sound in French! XP They do have the 'see' sound-they CAN pronounce it correctly!) Lynx I will be there as well...” Harle paused. “Rescue moi from him(NOW, here is a correct use of the word 'moi' because when using the imperative you would use the independent prounoun. Hate to mention it again...but only in certain circumstances would they even use "moi" in French. "Moi" is what you would call an independent pronoun-it is made to stand on its own. The pronoun in most cases (mainly when there is a verb pointing to it)...is "me". That's not the English word-I type it as the French pronoun, pronounced sort of like 'muh'. )..."

Harle smiled softly. “I have to leave now...but promise moi you’ll rescue me...”(this is strange because she goes from 'moi' to 'me' in the same sentence. Of course, the 2nd 'me' would end up being the French pronoun 'me'-phonetically: 'muh'. Of course given Harle's creôle of French and English...there really is no correct way to write this...so, I suppose this would be correct...but it still makes me go: 0.o)

“And moi(ME) promises not to let Lynx hurt Kid anymore...” Serge smiled a gratitude.

Wow. Really sorry to nit-pick your French and I know it's just a story...but incorrect French is one of my pet peeves and it really distracts me from a story because I get so irked by it. _;;

"OMG! That French is so wrong! I can't stop concentrating on that incorrect French! T_T"

So, I apologize for hammering this in...but maybe this 'constructive criticism' will help you as a writer. (Or at least help you learn a bit of French. _~)

Thank you! I'll read more when I have the chance! : D

~Kagome-chan~
Kagome1514 chapter 5 . 4/24/2006
How horribly cruel. I honestly hope this dream world disappears once Serge finds Kid. _

By the way, you keep spelling "shining" wrong-you put "shinning". Lol. : P

*goes to read more*

~Kagome-chan~
Kagome1514 chapter 2 . 4/24/2006
You forgot the apostrophe on "J'ai" and you forgot the accent aigu on "pensé". What you had was "Jai pense"-which is gibberish in French. Lol. : P

"mon bon ami"...another way of saying "my boyfriend" would be "mon petit copain". Actually, "mon bon ami", if the literal translation is taken is: "my good friend". I think it hints at boyfriend but isn't as pronounced "mon petit copain". Those are just my thoughts. : )

Good start so far. A couple of typos/grammar errors...but everyone has those. XP

Onto the next chapter! _

~Kagome-chan~
ALO ALO chapter 3 . 4/20/2006
I don't think that Harle deserves to be tourtured, poor lass, it wasn't her fault that she ended up like that..but I totally agree with you about Leena. Yup.

Had I ever got a chance to help with Kid's mission to get rid of her, first I'd break all her frying pans in front of her, then start calling her names like telling just how much of a big B* she is & make her pay for the many times she came in Kid's way (No, not because she is Serge's girlfriend because she's NOT his girlfriend, God, Serge himself says so in the game XP) because she THOUGHT she was Serge's girlfriend.

Poor guy.

Then after all that, throw her over the cliff along with the stone marked with the 'Serge Leena forever' markings to make sure she sinks with it down in the sea.

Yup,I am evil to think up this stuff for the 'POOR' Leena...does that make me bad? *angel face*
Shuutastic chapter 21 . 10/9/2005
Hmm... I like this story...

A little iffy at places that I could pinpoint if I wanted to be an ass, but I won't, since it's been such a long time since you wrote this and I've made worse mistakes.

The plot got a little confusing at places. but overall this is a nice fic. Shame that you didn't finish it... Ahh well, tehre's always the newer, better-written fics, right? -
GaltFalseTruth chapter 21 . 6/3/2005
Heya!

Pucka! Chicken Noises*

Ahem~

Its spelle see it flows...

PUCKA!

Sorry...can't get a grip on myself today...everything is just so random...

Regards,

Glaciours
ACCL chapter 21 . 5/27/2005
I'd have to be crazy to think I'm the only one reading this wonderful story. My guess is nobody takes the time to review. However, it actually is true that your inspiration seems to have faded away. I understand you 100% if you think you won't finish the story and you want to leave it as it is... Personally, I would have ended it with chapter 20.

What else can I say? Just, good luck and I hope to read more from you.
Greki chapter 20 . 3/21/2005
Wondering around here, Chrono Cross section, i saw that you've advanced with this, cool i must say!
Greki chapter 20 . 3/21/2005
Wondering around here, Chrono Cross section, i saw that you've advanced with this, cool i must say!
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