Reviews for Van Helsing: the Microwaveable Pop Tart Version
Hannah Lynn McDonald chapter 1 . 9/29/2014
*falls off chair dying of laughter*

If you can turn your brain off, it's a good movie. Actually, not the worst one I've watched though...
Guest chapter 1 . 8/31/2014
...I... can't stop laughing! the hell did you come up with this? Nevermind. Keep surprising people!
Ghost Rider of the Aragon chapter 1 . 2/10/2013
Don't kill Orly! Funny rewrite, but I still love the movie. The fake accents do get irritating though.
Scarlett Nemesis chapter 1 . 11/15/2012
Oh man, you've got some good stuff in here! My favourite line: "What, the curtains?" Monty Python all the way! And yes, I agree with a lot of what you critiqued about this movie. I was watching it yesterday and just turned it off half way through. It was just SO boring and the fake accents were driving me nuts. Good work though! *goes off to check out other stories by this author*
Virtuous Vampire chapter 1 . 12/11/2009
I love this so much that I want to marry and have kids with it! Thanks for writing this!

Sake-Loup chapter 1 . 10/24/2009
I find this horribly insulting as a Van Helsing fan, and yet histericly amusing as person with nothing better to do.
FunFlirtyFlute chapter 1 . 5/2/2009
HAHA, that was funnier than it had a right to be. The thing about Van Helsing is that I know it is a BAD movie, and yet I enjoy watching it. I also LOVE Kate Beckinsale. -XOXO Casey
The Famous Fire Lady M chapter 1 . 4/16/2009
-bows- down- you are win!
JonFinallyBendsTheKnee chapter 1 . 4/13/2009
A great story. Very funny.
ira sage chapter 1 . 9/19/2008
Awesome! You did great!
Eriksbestfriend chapter 1 . 8/31/2008
*insane hysterical laughter*


I loved it :]

The line: Good aim for a dead chick

THAT had me cracking up for many a moment xD

And the bit with Dracula talking like Antonio Banderas, priceless xD

All in all, VERY funny and amusing, I loved it!


bluedragon1836 chapter 1 . 8/13/2008
awesome. I am laughing my butt off.
Loren chapter 1 . 5/18/2008
I like this version better.
Kairi's-twin chapter 1 . 5/11/2008
Oh that was great I thoroughly enjoyed that. I love the part about the easter bunny and Mariah Carey. I love how you make Dracula sing Janet Jackson. GOOD JOB!

Ein Kampf kann eine Lebenszeit chapter 1 . 6/2/2007
I love that. OMG, that was the best re-write I've ever read. Haha, *dies of laughter* I love, 'CARL: Worse, Orlando Bloom.' that was the best! Loved it.

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