|Reviews for The Case of the Kidnapped Cutie: Starlet Fever|
| Princess SimbiAni Dreamz a'Luv chapter 1 . 7/27/2004
Luver of all that's sappy, cute, & aww-some!
| Lawrence Payne chapter 1 . 5/21/2004
This was a good story and very solid idea, but I have three things to say about it.
First is a minor grip. Your story, at least on IE6, came out double-spaced and some words have question marks (?) instead of apostrophes (’). This might be because you uploaded it as a Word (or some other font-formatted word processor) document. Try saving the document as a plain text file and then upload the .txt file, not the .doc file. That might fix things.
Next. When you make a transition from one setting/scene/chunk of time/event to another, you should do something to show that transition. After Gwen defeated the demon and she did her best to walk out looking tough, in the next paragraph she is sitting on the sofa watching TV. There was nothing to show the change in setting/topic. Some people use a line of dashes or a row of stars to show topic change. Or maybe even a time stamp.
Finally, this is the biggest grip. You rated the story G but you swore in the last paragraph. TWICE. You cannot swear in a G rated story! G is General audience meaning kids. Movie like “Finding Nemo