|Reviews for Underneath The Smoke, Vol 2: To the Moon and Back|
| Pen and Paper71 chapter 1 . 8/7/2008
This is truly excellent. Your writing is great and you handle the characters really well. I throughly enjoyed reading your story. Very nice work.
| Riviera Shae chapter 1 . 7/7/2005
I hope this won't be the last of the series!
Please update! I want to see what happens next! :D
| seventhe chapter 1 . 6/6/2004
I just read through Vol 1 and Vol 2, and I feel compelled to review them both here. I'd also like to suggest that you combine them into one long story - they seem to be chapters of a longer tale, and it is a little weird to have them separate, since they don't have much resolution alone. i'd like to see it as a story actually, because i think it's a very interesting and intriguing take you have on the characters, especially Rydia. I'd like to see it continue past the game, too!
| Stealth Noodle chapter 1 . 6/4/2004
Yay, I finally got a chance to sit down and read this! :)
Once again, I am impressed by how well you characterize Rydia (loved her fear of being a burden, and her struggle to make sense of love and friendship) and by how beautifully complicated everyone's relationships are. While I've seen a number of fics deal with Cecil and Kain's feelings over their rift, I've seldom seen anyone give equal time to Rosa's perspective. Her inner conflicts and reactions to things like Kain's dragon-slaying are wonderful.
I also really dig the setting. Your descriptions of the Lunarians' moon are so evocative, especially the details about the sound the crystal makes. Just lovely.
If I may nit at something, there's a section during Rydia's "long talk" with Kain in which she speaks for three paragraphs without any speech tags or actions to break things up. I really like what she's saying, but it's almost distracting for me as a reader to hit a monologue of that length. This might also be because the three lines preceding it are back-and-forth dialogue with no tags, but I felt a little "disconnected" from the scene, so to speak. Just my two cents.
By the way, I feel rather sorry for Edge, considering how isolated he must feel from the rest of the group (especially now that Kain's position is shifting). I'm hoping that he and Rydia come to some kind of understanding in a future installment. Also, I liked that Rydia was willing to acknowledge that she was unfairly taking things out on him, and also that he's returning some of her sarcasm. I'll be interesting to see how things are resolved between them.
Anyway, I'll stop gushing now. I'm looking forward to Volume Three! D
| TobyKikami chapter 1 . 5/31/2004
"If love was red, then she was colorblind." Heh. Just wondering, was that a reference to the ending of the last volume, what with Edge's love letter? Also, why are you posting the volumes as separate stories? Again, just wondering.
Anyway... The dedication bit was very touching, the whole wyvern battle was cool, and the ending was just as funny as the one to the last. Poor Edge, can't seem to do anything right. _
| Indigo Steel chapter 1 . 5/30/2004
Two things: Firstly, I absolutely adore your characterizations of our five heroes and the interactions between them. You've really done a lot in terms developing their personalities and how that would affect the way they interact with each other.
Secondly, some minor nitpicking, but at the end of the story, in the sentence "After all, shewas one of the non-awkward party members.", you forgot to put a space between "she" and "was". Other than that, grammar and spelling is top-notch.
Looking forward to reading more from you!