Reviews for Timing
hauntdead chapter 1 . 7/30/2007
What does ficlet mean?
MahliaLily chapter 1 . 12/27/2004
Hee! Okay, I *love* this one! I've never been a big fan of short, little stories because, well, I'm the Queen of Verbosity, and I believe in pages and pages of exposition, but this... this is just... so well-written.

First of all, the first line is brilliant. " It’s raining like hell and damned near impossible to light a cigarette." From my experience, the first line of a story is the most important (of course, it draws the reader in and makes them want to continue) and the hardest. I have this habit of reading the first lines of books to decide which one I want to read next, and let me tell you, if I had read that line in a novel, I'd be reading it as we speak. Plus, I have a rain scene planned for my new fic, so it just made me all giddy to see one in yours. I heart rain scenes.

Poor Jess... :( Getting beaten for a measly wallet. "He fucking loves New York." Hee. What I love about this line is that I'm not sure if Jess is being honest or sarcastic. It could go either way. To me, that's great writing. Just enough ambiguity so the reader can try his or her own conclusions. Hee! *hugs Leigh*

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"He thinks he feels tears against the crook of his neck where her face is buried, but it could be the effect of her warm breath hitting his rain-soaked skin."

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How great is that line? Love that line.

Ah, Leigh, this is marvelous! I love that we have no idea what's going on with Rory and Jess, but it all makes perfect sense. I love that there are so many unknowns, and yet the unknowns don't matter.

E! See, I know I'm excited about this one because I'm babbling, and my fingers aren't moving fast enough.

You really used language perfectly. Conveyed emotion masterfully. And did it all in under 400 words.

Amazing.

Becka
GQSecondAct chapter 1 . 10/23/2004
b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l. Wow.
Arianna555 chapter 1 . 7/4/2004
I never reviewed this. Why did I never review this? Hee.

This is definitely high on my favorites list of your one parters. And fics in general. I just love it. Short and sweet...okay, not sweet. Well, yeah, it is...*shrug* I love how it's that one moment, or set of them, captured here, and that's all it is, and it doesn't need anything else. And this is written so well.

"It’s raining like hell and damned near impossible to light a cigarette."

I love this beginning. I love this line. It's so Jess... And it's perfect to start the story with; just pulls you in. Awesome.

"He tries anyway. He’s given up on most everything else (love, forgiveness, hope), but he refuses to give up on this. He wants his fucking smoke."

I heart this line. *hugs it* Hee. The parentheses...the whole line. It's perfect. It's wonderful.

"All he really wants is a bottle of beer to go with his Dickens and nicotine."

Another line to go in the "Jess encyclopedia" that I've begun using reference to in reviews/betas. LOL. But really...this is Jess. I love that...beer to go with his (firstly) Dickens (and then, because he wants it) nicotine, cigarette, which by the way he can't get to light. Aw.

I love how you can see what he's feeling and thinking so clearly here, without him really saying it at all. Like that sort of thing we were talking about in Becka's writing thread...just exactly. Wow.

Hurting, wishing he could fix things, deciding he doesn't care anymore. And then she's there (why is she there? how did she know?)...and who cares why, because she's there, and maybe even if he won't say it he did need her, and as you say, "her timing is impeccable."

"Masochistic? Him? Never."

"He fights back, of course (valiantly so!), but to no avail. In the end he’s left bloody, bruised and wallet-less."

I love the "(valiantly so!)" because...well, this is gonna sound weird.

Because it's so not Jess in one way, and so here, it is, and it fits so perfectly. *sigh* I give up trying to explain exactly what I'm thinking. P

"He fucking loves New York."

Why didn't you tell us you had Jess with you at your computer, telling you what he would say? LOL. Heh.

This is just so well written, so powerful, so in character. Great job, Lee. And good luck with all the stuff you have to do! *hugs*

(No exploding.) ;-)
somethingcoolmusic chapter 1 . 6/9/2004
Hey! I loved this. It was short, but very good. I really liked the line "He fucking loves New York."...Good afterthought after he gets beat up! Haha. Any chance you're gonna continue this? Please do, it's great.
Aquarius Angel chapter 1 . 6/9/2004
Good, will there be more?
Gythien Elven Babe chapter 1 . 6/5/2004
Great!
smile1 chapter 1 . 6/5/2004
Hey!

Very well written and beautiful chapter. I liked the slight darkness in it.

Bye, smile :-)
Lunatic Lorenzio chapter 1 . 6/4/2004
oh. interesting. poor Jess got ouched...rory make him better. :) majah on the rampage, must go. :(
sarahl chapter 1 . 6/4/2004
is it just me or are your fics getting darker lately? i mean, dont get me wrong cuz i love em, but i just thought i'd make that observation. its kinda accurate tho, how jess's life probly is rite now... dont you wish we could know how he's doing? i mean, the show should just give up on the rest cuz its all fucked now, and just switch to following jess around :) hehe but seriously, great fic, makes me wana cry but im not in that kind of mood at the moment... keep writing, im sure you're head is huge by now from all the praise you get but ur awesome and never stop :D
halfcrazy chapter 1 . 6/4/2004
pretty. warm. i like it. thats it. not much i can say about it. it's like when you look at an amazing painting that touches you, you just can't say anything other than pretty. pretty. i like that word.
Glowbug9379 chapter 1 . 6/4/2004
A one-shot I'm assuming? If said assumption is true, I'll be quite depressed about it. For about five minutes, but nonetheless, that's five minutes.

Very well-written. I like the use of present-tense and third person to convey Jess's thoughts. Reminds me a little of Steve Martin's "Shopgirl" in that sense. I love the tone of it, because it just sounds like Jess's voice. And that's phenomenal.

My only gripe would have to be with the way the paragraphs begin. Everything starts with 'he' or 'his' and to a reader it can get repetitive after awhile. If those were very deliberate, however, then hats off to you and I've got nothing more to say.

A truly lovely piece of work.

~S