Reviews for Being the Main Character is Hard
pippermint chapter 11 . 11/2/2007
i love this story. your originality is off the charts, not to mention hilarious. its sad that you haven't updated in years, but i still enjoyed reading what was uploaded.
Vynne chapter 11 . 10/30/2006
I got a few great laughs out of this! Please, do update soon. I'm finding this interesting, even if it does seem pointless...Then again, most of my stories are pointless so I've no room to talk...Anyway, I'll try to wait quietly and watch the busy-Galleons do their thing...

Navaer!
Aelaer chapter 11 . 6/27/2005
I never saw that you updated this until you updated that Lost fic of yours, which I plan on reading... anyhow, most excellent chapter. Now onto the Lost fic.
Danieli chapter 11 . 4/12/2005
This really good/funny. Not really sure what else I could say about it, excellent grammer and a good writing style come to mind, but that's it. Keep writing please.
Elladora D. Jobberknoll chapter 11 . 3/27/2005
-blinks- Voldemort's armchair is amde of obsidian, human bones, and LACE? Always knew the Dark Lord was cracked. Ever read The Hogwarts Fanfiction Academy by Meir Brin? Lords Voldemort Collectively (Lord Voldemort Sr, Tom Riddle, and LVJ -coughs- Lord Voldemort Jr- little mutant baby thing that Voldie was before he got his body back) are hysterical in her fic!

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Gah McGonagall is BITTER! And frankly I think Snape is going to up and Avada Kedavra the Ministry if they don't start letting him teach the students more than just bloody theory.

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Ah attack of the killer Whomping Willow branch broomstick, eh? Entertaining oh so entertaining.

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Wow Ethan can do Summoning Charms? That's fourth year magic! -whistles- Though he IS the main character, so being talented at magic fits the bill...

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"And it was funny," Edward added. He had decided he would get further in Transfiguration by making up his own incantations on a regular basis, so he had somehow procured a turnip and was saying random things to it to see what happened. So far it had turned to glass, rolled over, melted and reformed, and tearfully repented its many sins. Another swish of his wand and muttered nonsense word cause the turnip to break out into show tunes.

Oh yes I'm sure a turnip has so many sins! What'd it do? Steal sunlight from the other turnips? -laughs- Though a turnip singing show tunes is quite impressive. That's entertainment right there, folks. A show tune singing turnip!

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Merlin's beard, Harry, you're sixteen and you don't know what the word expendable means? -shakes head- Our poor daft little not-main-character-anymore...

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Oh poor Ethan. Poor Harry. Bloody revenge-seeking Dark Lord and company. Am tired. Must sleep. Am finally finished. Fic is great! Cannot form full sentences any longer...

Elladora
Elladora D. Jobberknoll chapter 10 . 3/27/2005
They get to turn the ducklings into draclings? -puffs out air- I WANT TO DO THAT! And then I'd "accidentally" forget to return the dracling. ;-)

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Sex scandal? MCGONAGALL? -eyes widen- Very very wrong...

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-coughs- Audrey I whatever that is sounds forking PLEASANT. Feeding it dead Mersheep and all... what a wonderful plant/creature/monster!

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YES! -pumps fist in the air- I was waiting for Snape to say, "Ethan Williams...our new celebrity." Though you used the word protagonist but it still has the same effect. Alan Rickman does that line so well!

"I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even- put a stopper in DEATH. If you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

Ah Snape... so incredibly creepy...

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Argh! -shields head from vicious giant man-eating, talking plant- Can I trade in my Audrey I for a Swedish Short-Snout or an Antipodean Opaleye dracling? -puppy dog eyes-

Elladora
Elladora D. Jobberknoll chapter 9 . 3/27/2005
"My liddle main character is all grown up and attending Hogwarts…"

Ah Fawkes... Eddie Murphy/Mulan flashbacks! "My little girl's all grown up and saving China!" Or something to that effect. Sorry obsessive Disney movie fan! -waves hands excitedly-

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Possessed magical dishes and cutlery! -cheers- I'll have to get me some of that!

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"Well," Edward replied as if it was the most logical thing in the world, "how many penguins do you see getting killed by Death Eaters?

None." He sat back and folded his arms smugly. "They must know something we don't."

Again Edward is a raving mad lunatic.

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Yep Edward- postively barking mad. Am seriously considering that his parents were quite glad to get rid of him when he went off (perhaps he 'dug' his way) to Hogwarts.

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Firenze as the DADA teacher? Very interesting...

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Galaxy Quest? That's quite a strange movie. Especially the little so-called cute little alien children that really are evil, toothy cannibals! Ah the irony!

Elladora
Elladora D. Jobberknoll chapter 8 . 3/27/2005
Yeah... I'm really starting to lean more towards the theory that Edward is barking mad than anything else...

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I love how the Sorting Hat puts him in Gryffindor before he even has the Hat on! -snickers- Perks of being the main character though McGonagall insisted the Hat do the sorting properly.

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Huh the Sorting Hat seems to be nearly as bitter and angry as Fawkes. Platy, have you made it your job to turn all little developed Harry Potter characters into incredibly strange ones? -laughs- It works fine for me.

Elladora
Elladora D. Jobberknoll chapter 7 . 3/27/2005
Alright... Edward was raised by badgers... that's not at all odd...

Actually there are three options as to why Edward is telling everyone he was raised by badgers: A)He's led a astonishing life, B)He's a compulsive liar, or C)He's just plain barking mad.

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Ah! -laughs hysterically- Comparing McGonagall to Yzma from the Emperor's New Groove! That's great!

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Ooh kind of rock n' roll Sorting Hat, eh? Interesting...

-winces- Ouch. Beating yourself over the head with a guitar? Poor daft elf.

Elladora
Angelic Mercy chapter 3 . 3/26/2005
*waves to Ethan as he passes her by near the great lakes* BYE ETHAN! WE LOVE YOU, OH GREAT MAIN CHARACTER! *blinks* Oh, right, respectable adult in my presence. All hail.. *bows down* All hail the sick humor, odd quotes, and inspiring stories. Kill Fawkes! Or however the hell you spell his name! He's been turned EVIL! Erase his memory, and then fry him to a crisp 15 times in a row! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That'll show him to be so nasty! *throws rocks at Fawkes* *accidentally hits Ethan* Oh, Ethan! I'm sorry! I LOVE you! *cries* BON VOYAGE! ADIOS! ETC!

; No, but really, this is way outta my league and yet I still ove it. And I wouldn't have reviewed till I reached the end, but I just HAD to say hi to Ethan as he passed by! *waves again* Hi!
Elladora D. Jobberknoll chapter 6 . 3/26/2005
Oh Merlin, a broom made from the Whomping Willow? -gulps- How would they have gotten the wood from it in the first place?

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Hey the word FAUGH appears once more! -laughs- Fawkes and ugh combined, who knew?

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"Yeah, laugh it up," Fawkes said bitterly. "Lord knows I was put here to amuse you… God, I hate my life, and I don't even get to look forward to it ending…"

Yes I'm sure we all pity you, Fawkesie ol' boy...

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Yay a little friend for Ethan! -claps-

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Thanks for the Dungbombs! I'll be sure to use them on my evil math teacher! -runs off cackling-

Elladora
Elladora D. Jobberknoll chapter 5 . 3/26/2005
Madame Versace's? -snickers- Yeah Donatella's kind of strange with all that white blonde hair and weird, extremely expensive clothing...

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The man was smiling eagerly, as if nothing delighted him more than the potential for disaster, except possibly disaster itself.

Heh heh...

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With a little, despairing sigh, Ethan held the wand as far away from himself as he could and twitched it.

There was a loud crunching sound. Ethan whirled around and looked out the window just in time to see a giant chasm open in the middle of the street. Dozens of witches and wizards tumbled into the void, wailing.

"That's the one, kid!" Fawkes said over the screaming, laughing so hard that he was crying (and unwittingly repairing small potholes in the cobblestones below wherever his tears struck the ground). "Perfect! Absolutely bloody brilliant!"

Trust Fawkes to want Ethan to get a chaos-causing wand for his own entertainment.

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"Will you be nice to it?" Ethan asked, looking sideways at the phoenix as he chewed.

"What are you implying?"

"I just don't want to buy something you're going to… clash with."

"Then don't get something green. That would look too Christmas-y."

"I'm not talking about color, Fawkes! If I get an owl, you have to promise to be friendly, okay?"

"Fine, fine. I do have some sense of common courtesy." Fawkes flicked the cigarette away, nearly setting alight the hem of someone's robes. "I'll keep an eye on your stuff; go pick out your bloody pigeon."

"Thanks," Ethan said, standing up and brushing sandwich crumbs off his lap. "If anyone touches anything, singe 'em."

"Now you're speaking my language!" Fawkes cackled. "With pleasure!"

Ah Fawkes is just so entertaining!

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Ooh yes thanks for the mersheep! -hugs mersheep and is slapped in the face by its tail- Bloody mersheep.

Elladora
Elladora D. Jobberknoll chapter 4 . 3/25/2005
"You really ought to be more polite to someone who's been heaving your sorry arse across half a country AND an ocean," Fawkes commented once the seagull was gone.

-laughs- Reminds me of the Bartimaeus Trilogy books by Jonathan Stroud.

To quote Bartimaeus: "I'd be careful, love. It's unwise to make catty remarks when suspended at high altitude."

Heh heh. Some of the most entertaining books ever.

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Mersheep... interesting... I suppose it's an explanation for how Hagrid keeps the grounds so tidy all by himself...

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-laughs- The idea of wizards having McDonald's that's not at all different from the Muggle fast food is great! The fly-thru window was stroke of brilliance, Platy!

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That 'I'm the main character' bit really does get you everything, doesn't it?

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The 'special' Galleons are -coughs- interesting...

Elladora
Elladora D. Jobberknoll chapter 3 . 3/25/2005
Alright Ethan is going to sit in a hammock carried by a phoenix over the Atlantic Ocean. -pauses for effect- Those three things are so random that it sounds like it's the beginning of a joke.

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I love Fawkes saying, "Geez, traffic's a bloody nightmare..." Most entertaining humans and animals connection.

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Oh yes I knew the second that the chapter title said Phoenix song that we'd soon find out that Fawkes's phoenix song when translated from parrot tongue is nothing more than a string of vulgar lyrics. HA!

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-laughs- Yep we're (I'm a Minnesotan) the Land of Ten Thousand Lakes that actually has a lot more than ten thousands lakes. I live in the best forking state in the U.S.- the Land of People Who Lack the Ability to Count Their Lakes Correctly! -laughs- What other state could have spawned Prince, Josh Hartnett, and the whoot Mall of America, shopper's heaven and shopper's hell all rolled into one huge forking complex wrapped around an amusement park spawned by avid Peanuts enthusiasts? -snickers- Gah that should be MoA's slogan; I'd laugh hysterically.

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Dude Ethan. There are a lot of homes on the Mississipi! It goes through the entire forking state! Though for Ethan to live on the river would most likely means his family is pretty well-to-do...

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Hm... Fawkes and augh! combined creates FAUGH, a most interesting new word. They should put in the dictionary like 'muggle' with all due credits to Ethan for creating it!

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Yep smoking is nasty; I hate it with a passion. I'll be sure to tell everyone not to start unless they're a psycho phoenix in a parody fic- ah think of the strange looks I'll get...

Elladora
Elladora D. Jobberknoll chapter 2 . 3/25/2005
Huh never knew 3M actually stood for something... Gah I feel like an idiot now...

Flute music? -jumps up and down excitedly- I play flute! I won't say I'm incredibly talented at it, but I play the instrument!

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Ah poor Fawkes. Forced to play 'owl' for the day. How degrading. And a bird smoking? Wonders will never cease from you, Platy... And how the fork is a phoenix supposed to hold a cigarette anyway? In its beak? In its talons? In its wing? Ah well they're all rather entertaining to picture!

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Ah I love Dumbledore's letter. "However, seeing as you are the main character..." Because THAT changes everything! Ethan's not just any ol' character; he's the MAIN character! -laughs-

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Oh my... Fawkes is a bit -laughs nervously- ANGRY, isn't he? And vulgar to boot. I like it!

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Ah so it's HARRY's fault that Fawkes is smoking, is it? I'm sure he stuck the cigarette in your beak and forced you to light it and everything, eh Fawkes? No wondering Harry's turning to an angry psychopath; everyone's blames him for everything.

Elladora
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