It was nice :))

Aw... I love it, it was so cute and sweet!

Aww...thats really good. Tee hee why did u ryme at the beginning? Just wondering but hey I liked it all...very good job.

...Its cool! i like the alternating Pov's. you may have a bit of trouble with the tenses...like 'is' where you could have put 'are'...just a few little things. overall, its pretty good!

Nice! I liked the ryming, it was a nice twist to the story! I've never come across that before...but I liked it!

Thanks for contacting me and telling me about your fics. I really apreciate it and I am reading them. I loved this one shot. Keep up the good work! Excellent...Thank you

VSM**

Whoah! That was fast! You know, for a first fanfic, that was pretty cool! Hope you write more SetoXSerenity fics because I love reading them! :) And I like the title... Anyway, interesting story! Sorry I wasn't able to review earlier... ok that's all, bye!

First fanfic ever huh? Well, it was pretty poetic at the beginning. I like that In a fic. you should have grouped all their feelings together instead of kept changing perspectives. also, you changed tense a lot. That sort of thing really bugs me, but like you said, it's your first fanfic ever. ugh... you shoulda seen MY first fanfic ever! It was a Zelda fic... Ok, let's not atlk about it.

anyhow, I think you ahve a lot of potential. If you would like me to BETA this, meaning proofread ita nd point out errors to help you correct it, I could definately do taht for you! then you could repost it. seems I'm doing that with a lot of my older works now days...

Anyway, keep it up! You WILL get better I promise!

That was really kawaii! - I've never read a fic written like that before. Good job!

So cute! I Love it. keep up the good work!_

kaiba Girl

I love it! So cute and well written. Keep it up!

So cute! I really liked it! It's a very good piece of work, I'd say!