|Reviews for The Dancer|
| Whynonna17 chapter 13 . 12/21/2014
This is an amazing story!
| lover-of-love19 chapter 13 . 11/18/2014
I have a lot of questions
1) why is Joey so eager to jump into bed with kaiba after a sexual assault?
2) why does the 12yr old mokuba become non existent after they get together?
3) for that matter why is kaiba not mad that Joey would take his kid brother to a brothel?
4) why would Joey go back to the place his stalker visits?! Going to-be honest this one confused me the most.
5) what was your setting at the start of the ff? Because we never know why Joey feels like dancing.
6) why is Joey so meek? Like annoyingly so.
7) technically kaiba still loves kc more than Joey, so this can only conclude that the same problem will arise when the company goes through a rough patch. But seeing as Joey took precedence to mokuba this isn't the worst thing kaiba has done.
8) How many months did t he ignoring go on, because the story never said...
I'm just left with more questions than answers, and that makes me unhappy with this ff. D
| Guest chapter 13 . 1/18/2014
Please make an epilouge, I've put too much emotion into this fanfic to have it end like this, it was a good ending, but I just want to know that in the future they are still happy and maybe get an actual dog...
| YuGiOhYaoiShipper chapter 10 . 7/14/2013
Lol I listen to simple plan to :) yurh such an amazayn writer and I've read more than half of the story in a few hours and I just cant stop reading it it is sooo good so far.
| WoNdY Alice chapter 13 . 4/16/2012
| smileyface chapter 1 . 4/5/2012
I dont mean to sound rude but this manga was hilarious. I mean seriously I amlost died of laughter at the image of Joey in tight stripy pants. Everything just... LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. I dont know if this was intended to be a comedy but damn it was funny. Joey... working as a dancer... OMG lol. IT wasnt even hot its just funny. lololololololololol.
| PenumbraSoul chapter 13 . 2/29/2012
Someone at the 'Puppyshipping Fans' group on Facebook recommended to read this story and since I adore Puppyshipping I couldn't say no. I was intrigued! It was a good read and I enjoyed it, it had a good storyline. Plus on the bonus it had real good angst followed by some fluffy love in some parts. I have always loved my SetoJou to be a little angst proceeded by the loving afterwards! #
- Jenny .
| dancing elf chapter 13 . 12/15/2011
| Legend of the Blue Eyes chapter 13 . 6/13/2011
This story was pretty good. It was definitely enjoyable, and the storyline was quite intriguing. However, I felt that many parts of it were rushed, most notably the beginning and the ending.
Many Joey-Kaiba fics include something about "Seto suddenly starting to see the mutt in a new light." However, this just isn't realistic; we all know how much they detested each other, so for readers, or at least for me, a fic is generally more stimulating when this process of viewing the other party in a new light is explained. Perhaps you could have had Kaiba somehow end up at Fire and Ice as a result of some outside force or pressure, such as businessmen wanting to go there after a business meeting and dragging him along, during which he sees Joey dancing or whatever in the bar. This type of unexpected meeting would certainly get someone to view another in a different way, and it establishes this transition naturally and believably.
As for the ending, it certainly could have taken longer than one chapter because of the complexity of the situation. The way Masaki went out reminds me of some villain in a 1950s cartoon saying "What? This was not supposed to happen! I would have succeeded if it weren't for you meddling Kaibas!" while shaking his fist lol. If the reader takes out the song lyrics that you added in the final chapter, or in other words the material that you did not contribute, the chapter is actually quite short and sparse; such a complicated situation surely deserves a longer and more deeply involved resolution.
My last issue with this fic is, perhaps, the most crippling one. Joey is angry because he feels that Seto is spending more time on his business and away from Joey. That is, money is more important than Joey, and I believe that this reasoning is explicitly stated in an earlier chapter (correct me if I am wrong, but even if I'm mistaken this critique still holds). At the end, we find out that Seto was tricked into believing his company was doing poorly and ostensibly he explains Masaki's chicanery to Joey, and as readers we are to believe that this is the resolution that ties up all ends. However, even if Seto were to explain to Joey that he was simply fooled into believing Kaibacorp was performing poorly, it still would not address the root of the issue, which is Kaiba thinking his company is more important than his partner. In fact, it appears to reinforce the idea that Kaiba values KC above Joey, and that does not make this a truly loving, deep relationship. I think an epilogue would be necessary in order to deal with that problem, but seeing as this fic was last updated 6 years ago, I unfortunately do not see that happening lol. As a final note in this vein, Just because Kaiba is working later doesn't mean he would snap at Joey and be cold as an automatic consequence. I've tried to balance schoolwork, ridiculous work hours, and a relationship before, and although because of the former two the latter did not work out well, I wasn't any colder or meaner towards my partner than I generally was. At least for me, that area of the story seemed a tad unbelievable and forced.
Those problems aside, it was definitely an interesting read and is something I might check out again. It certainly was not boring, and manages to keeps the reader's attention very well. The grammar and mechanics were good overall too, so I'd have to say that you did a good job. I hope you continue writing!
| Azureroses chapter 13 . 6/16/2010
good grief!lol. i really loved this story. making jonouchi a prostitute was absolutely brilliant, and made the story that much more awesome (i mean who wouldnt want to go home knowing jonouchi was gonna end up tied down to the bedpost?lol). i read this whole thing listening to whispers in the dark, by skillet, which just about set the entire story on a whole new plane of amazingness. good job and keep up the great work!
| Jiya Minamoto chapter 13 . 10/7/2008
Wow that was an amazing story...it made me squeel! I loved it! The only splat of anything I have to say is...well you seemed to rush the ending...it coulda been so much cuter! And it was a bit disappointing...like you wanted to get it over with. Anyway thats all xD Other than that it was WONDERFUL!
| Daydreamer-Of-The-Unknown chapter 13 . 9/21/2008
I erm.. don't really
know what 2 say about
that story..except it
was really good..am a
bit gobsmacked lol.
What a story..I fort
that kenji was guna
return for revenge tho
but still good..i think
yooh shud write an
epilogue..make it longer
x Rin x
| faburizu chapter 2 . 8/28/2008
This is by far the best Seto/Jou fic I have ever laid my eyes upon. Everything about this is perfection, amazing characterization. I almost cried during this chapter because it was so fucking amazing. _;;
| koolmint26 chapter 1 . 1/5/2008
why would he tell kaiba?
i mean if he wants to keep it a secret and all
| htstff57 chapter 13 . 8/22/2007
aww update soon please... love this story by the way!