Reviews for Wingbroken
TheChoicesWeMake chapter 32 . 5/1
Hi! I know this probably isn't being updated any more (although I would love to be proved wrong! *flutters eyelashes*), but I've just finished reading this through for the second time in a row and couldn't resist putting my appreciative two cents in (right…get ready for an epic of much proportion).
Let me start by saying how much I enjoy to your writing style - it's lyrical and thought provoking, while still being coherent and clear, philosophative without dragging or being distracting. Dry and real and harsh and raw. :) Me likey.
All of the characters are really, really well done (Harry! And. Snape!), but I especially love Dumbledore, because he's one of the worst written characters in fan fiction for the most part, and often gets such a bad rap…this is a great portrayal of him, lending him all the weaving shades and controversy of his personality. Not some purely evil, irresponsible, manipulative, lying b******, and not some purely innocent, mushy, grandfatherly figure, but just enough of both to make him volatile and unpredictable … Harry doesn't trust him, on one hand, and the guy can honestly be condescending, blind, and annoying as hell, but Harry still needs him, and he does seem to genuinely care for Harry - even brings something out in Harry that Harry needs -
(see Chapter 8: "It's good to hear you can still be yourself, Harry."
Harry smiled sheepishly at his fingers, surprised to find his old, teen irritation still buried between the layers of his depression. The though that he could still be himself gave him a little hope.) So does his heart balance out his actions? Remains to be decided.
Harry, as I said before, is a brilliant character in this. His mood swings are realistic, understandable, and yet still manage to be unexpected, and give him just that little bit of fascinating unpredictability that urges us to find out how things play on. He's too cynical and worn to be a child, but too young to be anything else, and he just…he just…gah. Love.
Snape and Harry both - you have an incredible way of making them so in-character while they're being out-of-character (Chapter 11… sonny jim *chuckle*, need I say more?)
Great job keeping Snape human and still…well, himself ;D The pendulum tends to swing to either extreme with his character (just too ridiculously cold to be real, or turns into a ball of mush by chapter three), but you have (well, both of the main characters) portrayed realistically…like we all are, love and hate and a mass of contradictions balanced on the edge of a very fine razor blade.
A little more undecided on what you did with Voldemort…some of the later dream conversations between him and Harry got pretty friendly-rivalary like, and I'm not sure what I think about that. I did really like the dreams, though, and the don't you know you're my child…shivers. Interested to see where you go with this.
Love the italics as inner monologue, love the inner monologues you have for them, love the repetition and the broken up (parenthesis).

Favorite Bits:
Chapter 3; I love the part where Harry turns his homework parchments into Snape and that whole interaction; Harry gave me chills at the end. "I will never, ever stoop to your level," he said in a low voice. "But at least you're so low I can predict your every move."

The entirety of Chapter 4, and Harry's reaction to being told he's going to live with Snape, is a masterpiece. I have nothing else to say. Your writing here, as it is in this whole story, is vivid and lets it's play out before you, just descriptive enough to stimulate the reader's imagination without negating a need for it.

The snappy dialogue where there is no descriptions, because none are needed, you can just hear the tone in the words…love that...

The end section of Chapter 10 just might be my favorite ever. Again, chills.
Six feet from the edge
and thinking that maybe six feet
down wasn't that far after all

It's easy to see the influence of Orson Scott Card, Stephen King (mentioned specifically, in your replies to your reviewers :), and easy to see that you're just, apparently, a very well read teenager…color me impressed. It's only the best of writers that can adapt bits of styles from even better writers and then make it their own, so, here. Compliments and respect *shoves into your hands*

He felt calmer, but not better… yes. THAT. Good description.

"Why not, pray tell? You can by cynical, and I can be sarcastic." Ha. Such a lovely pair they make. Seriously though, they do have some similar coping mechanisms. This made me chuckle ;)

Since you asked other reviewers to cite parts they found funny (although I'm of the opinion your writing is more of the persuasion od dry, dramatic irony than ha-ha hilarious, which, IMO, is even better)…
"So…?"
"The press is hounding after you, Fudge hates your guts and Severus hates himself for pleading your harmlessness."
"Ah, normality..."
Among others.
Joss Whedon once said in reference to screenwriting (but it works for us too, yeah?), "Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke."
You seem to be very good at this (even if you are, apparently, unaware of the fact ;)

Love the confrontation with the death eaters and Voldie in Hogsmeade. That whole chapter…EPIC.

That whole, Harry's-mind-snaps insane!Harry thing is hard to do right, but you managed to make it alright…that foggy, blinding, not-sure-what's-really-going-on, not-really-in-reality point of view, without it being too ridiculous and confusing for the reader. Bravo.

Well, what to say. Your story rocks and is everything awesome and interesting (plus it's deep and just - - loads of talent, girl.), and strays far far from the stereotypical and groan-worthy (which make up the majority of fanfics, let's be honest). There are fan fictions I read, and fan fictions I like, and then there are fan fictions I admire, that I learn from, and have pushed me. Yours is the last. I've very much enjoyed it, and will enjoy coming back to it in the future AND would enjoy it even more if you don't leave us on a cliff hanger *wink* But seriously. Thanks for putting the time and ideas into this. It's great. I look forward to (hopefully) reading more of your stuff. I love editing and reviewing, and I tend to go off a bit, so hope this wasn't annoying to read :)
Keep writing! :D

PS
As we seem to have some similar tastes in reading, accept a book recommendation? Please, if it's the last thing you do, read Plenilune by Jennifer Freitag. Not only is it one of the most amazing books ever, period, your and her writing styles are alike in a lot of ways. Please. You'll thank me :)
Guest chapter 32 . 12/30/2015
Noo! Don't stop there!

This had been a really good read, I love Harry and Snape fanfics.
Reader-anonymous-writer chapter 32 . 7/4/2015
Harry... I do not know if Severus disbelieves extent of your anger, or derides the reasons for you to be angry, or thinks that this anger should have been put to something productive. But you do conceal emotions better than I would have expected.
Will Harry charm the room to not let any noise out of it?
I like Severus.
Voldemort playing football? I would like to see it...
He knew exactly what had just happened? Voldemort just tries to take control of Harry?
Hagrid, you give brilliant gift!
Dementoids... Thank you ;-)
Harry... Can you heal Severus? From the fire?
I dislike Remus. On that note, I hate Dumbledore fiercely.
Hehehe... Harry's magic has undone the years of malnutrition, making Harry as tall as Severus? Had the Horcrux within Harry's scar somehow given up on blocking part of Harry's magic?
Good day, good night, and good luck, Harry, Severus.
Anna chapter 32 . 2/13/2015
Oh noooo, why isn't there more?! This story is amazing! I cried several times. Poor Harry.
misherukuro chapter 32 . 2/5/2015
Brilliantly written and very engaging thanks for the good read. ,
Anonymous chapter 32 . 10/12/2014
I really don't know what to say about this fan fiction. I love it but at the same time there is something that makes me wonder, 'Is this really how it would be?'. Harry just...gave up...in a way. I don't know if I like it. It's different and that's something I definitely love, but...I don't know. This is really deep and it really seems like a bottomless pit of depressive clarity that Harry seems to go through and he's just given up. There's no life in him and I don't like it because I miss the Harry I grew up with and came to love. I miss the Harry who had an undying determination and will to live, the Harry who would smile for those who needed it and most of all the Harry who a fire of passion, love and loyalty. I'm not criticizing, all I'm saying is that this new Harry is different and I'm really intrigued to see what happens next!
harold-the-rabbit chapter 32 . 6/13/2013
UPDATE THIS IS AMAZING! OK I GOT NO MORE WORDS BUT WOW
Don't you dare chapter 11 . 12/22/2012
Don't say being suicidal is stupid. It's a horrible feeling. Just don't.
craizypet chapter 32 . 12/21/2011
wow.. confusing... but fascinating!
Kaylaen chapter 32 . 7/17/2011
This is truly inspired writing! It seems so sad that 6 years ago with only 1 chapter left you appear to have given up on this story. It really is a beautiful piece of work although a little difficult to follow at times. You should definitely post the last chapter! :-)
sammyfish chapter 32 . 7/14/2011
So, this story is amazing. Somebody managed to describe it as "reading a song", and I think that perhaps that is the bestdescription I can think of...It's a beautiful story, filled to the brim with so much emotion, all entirely believable. Somehow, this fic has less of a plot line than many others I've read, but that seems to really appeal to me. The gradual nature of everything really adds to the power, and it's incredibly engaging. I did manage to catch a quote I love dearly in an earlier chapter - "if you ground the universe down to the finest powder and sieved it through the finest sieve you would not find one atom of truth, one molecule of justice" :) Good pick!

And I'm very sorry that it appears you've abandoned this story, especially with only one chapter remaining :( It's beautiful, and for all that it's 6 years on, I'll continue to live in hope! Well done on a stunnign story!
R.A.B chapter 32 . 5/25/2011
why'd he grow god-damn it?
Just Miki chapter 10 . 10/14/2010
Did you think up all the philosipical stuff yourself? It was utterly may be a little course but per-chance would you agree to let m use bits and pieses of it. See in school im in speach and debate. I major in speaches i write 10 minute speaches on something deep. Something that could make a differance. So to find this jem was wonderful. Heck if you gave the ok id like o incorperate it into my book perhaps. 8D
Cassandra30 chapter 3 . 10/3/2010
Excellent comeback! That was a terrifying nightmare. That meddling, manipulative, stupid, naive old fool who should know better needs to see Harry sees a Mind Healer but of course he wouldn't want Harry to actually get better would he? For all of Hermione's intelligence and book learning she sure is slow at putting together what she sees with what she knows.
Cassandra30 chapter 2 . 10/3/2010
Really good! :) Insightful!
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