Reviews for Star Wars: Shades of Gray
pacificuser chapter 1 . 9/12/2008
Cool! Man this is so good! You should write a part 22!
Alnitak Z Orion chapter 11 . 9/9/2005
Hey Jonathan,

Long time between reviews, I guess.

Hm, I wonder what that "only one way out" for Urtis is. I hope to execute Venka.

I like the way you portrayed Olten's animosity towards Tilyer.

Shouldn't "every where" be "everywhere"?

Good argument presenting the Imperials' side.

Great job, as always. *_*

"As soon as looked into those security logs,..." -"he" looked into.
Alnitak Z Orion chapter 10 . 8/22/2005
Howdy,

So now Tilyer will start learning the meaning of "shades of gray", I suppose. Even thought he had some doubts about the Empire, I gather that you're planning something more enlightening.

"So then that's it then." Using 'then' twice is a bit jarring.

So Venka got a new lease on life. Let's see what Del'Goren plans for him.

I would have planned this chapter, and the previoust two, differently, but I suppose the plot also reflects the title. We're in the realm of grays. Even the characters' actions, except for Venka, and their reactions seem to be mild. Good Job! *_*
Alnitak Z Orion chapter 9 . 8/14/2005
Hey,

Review as I read.

"He tried to open his eyes fully, but the sudden flood illumination..." flood of illumination.

"...he tried to twist away as hand descended..." a hand.

That's it as far as typos.

I was expecting something like this from Venka. I think Urtis is going along with the 'request' too easily. He should be more reluctant if he really thinks it's wrong.

Good chapter, as usual. *_*
Alnitak Z Orion chapter 8 . 8/1/2005
Howdy,

I'll review as I read.

"..., he couldn't have survived the descent-if he was even alive to at all." This seems a bit clunky. I know what you mean, but I would revise this.

Typo: same paragraph. "It would have hit the ground at over a over six hundred..." just some extra words here.

"He knew if hadn't been able to take out that one X-wing,..." you need a comma here. "..wing, the Enforcer would have been totally destroyed, but that knowledge didn't do a damn thing to..." to is missing from here.

Typo: "His injuries were simply too..." you have to.

I'm glad the crew is suspicious and that Del'Goren is trying to investigate.

Good chapter, again. *_*
Sophy chapter 7 . 7/24/2005
I forgot.

I wonder if Ygra is, has been some kind of android, or robot. And if he is, he may survive. I could be way off, but he behaved a bit peculiar in the previous chapters.
Alnitak chapter 7 . 7/24/2005
Interesting developments in this chapter with Tana finding the crashed fighter.

So Venka kills Captain Ygra. Another plot twist. I'm curious if he gets caught.

Good Job! *_*
Alnitak chapter 6 . 7/21/2005
Exciting chapter.

"...After a brief three-day journey through hyperspace, the Enforcer finally arrived in its main destination, Belsavis." Did you mean "at its main destination"?

"..., the colonists on planet built..." "the" is missing.

I'm ignorant about FF rules. Are the planet Belsavis, and the characters Tilyer and Captain Ygra are your own? What is exactly taken from Star Wars other than the Empire and Rebel conflict? Sorry, not familiar with FF.

Whatever the rules are, I like your description and the situation of this planet here.

I wonder if the metallic trace in the ice flow is a Rebel outpost.

You've handled that battle scene very well. Poor Tilyer, heading towards that ice ball. So, now the Enforcer and its crew is stuck.

"Shades of Gray" is a good title for this story if the plot is what I think it is. Perhaps the crew will have to land, Tilyer and Linia, and whoever else are alive and see the picture from the Rebels' point of view. I could be wrong, but that's the way it looks now.

Good job! *_*
Alnitak Z Orionis chapter 5 . 7/14/2005
Intrigue filled chapter. I wonder if Captain Ygra is a Rebel spy.

Seems like Tilyer is slowly becoming more and more disillusioned. I also wonder if the broken holo pictures of his parents were meant as an omen.

Wonderful chapter! *_*
Alnitak chapter 4 . 7/6/2005
Hello from Europe.

A very good battle scene, with intricate tech.

Second paragraph has "hanger". I think it should be "hangar"

"The expanse of stars before him wavered as the fighter hit." This sentence sounds slightly off, not wrong, just not perfect.

Good chapter. *_
Alnitak Z Orionis chapter 3 . 6/28/2005
I don't know what roast nerf is, but it doesn't sound good.

The portrayl of the awkward conversation of Tilyen and Linia is very good.

I always loved Star Wars, and it's nice to read the srory from the opposition's POV.

"..molten blue skies of hyperspace." I like that.

Good ending with the Rebel attack.

I'm glad to see you have lot's of chapters. I'll be back for more. *_
Alnitak Z Orionis chapter 2 . 6/28/2005
WOW!

Cool chapter. This has become one of my favorites. I like the fast paced style, yet it has enough info.

Poor Tilyer has to bunk with Gabel. BTW, there's a typo in the 7th paragraph. "Tyler"

I have a feeling something will go awry with Tilyer's craft.

Good Job! *_
Alnitak Z Orionis chapter 1 . 6/27/2005
Wow, this is even better than Shadow Run. I like the beginning that you included the emotional/past about Tilyer's brother.

"wolf of a man" cool, I'm using that in the book that's being published.

Promising story! *_*
Bjrn Fallqvist chapter 26 . 4/11/2005
Outstanding. That is all I say. Incredible story.

Please write more similar things.
Jaclyn chapter 26 . 4/2/2005
This was a great story. It had me captivated from the beginning and I didn't want to stop reading once I had started. I enjoyed reading the last few chapters that you just recently added and the ending was wonderful.

I'm glad that you finally finished writing it and I know you must be happy to have it completely finished.

You are a great writer and I'm looking forward to reading some more of the things that you write.

Jaclyn
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