Reviews for Dream of the Earthbound
LeBibish chapter 3 . 11/18/2004
You're doing an excellent job of working through the character's thought processes. The thing about the Ranma character's is that it is pretty easy to take them in many different directions. I don't particularly like your Nabiki, but I think you do a good portrayal of her. By that I mean, you manage to convince me that this is how she could be, even though I prefer to see her differently. You put a lot of depth into characters, into showing, not telling but showing, their motivations and character. I'm not being exceptionally coherent, but what I mean is I really like your story and I'm enjoying reading it!
beege chapter 3 . 11/16/2004
Very good (no surprise) though in a way it felt as though not too much actually happened in this chapter, despite Ranma's fight with Ryoga - the status quo doesn't seemed to have changed much over the course of this particular chapter. But plot developments take time to set up, I suppose.

Your characterisation of Nabiki continues to be one of the things that impresses me most about this story. Despite the fact that she supposed to be so smart and cunning most writers portray her manipulations as fairly simplistic trickeries that only work because of the people she's dealing with, though to be fair that's more or less the way she comes across in the manga and the anime as well. You write her as a true genius, in her own way, a genuine puppeteer of the people around her. As such this continues to be both one of the creepiest and yet most believable characterisations I've read of Nabiki, who usually gets pigeonholed into one of a short series of stereotypes even when she's the focus of the story.

Your author's notes reminded me of one of the conflicts inherent in writing really good Ranma 1/2 fanfiction; because the series itself is basically a comedy the best fanfictions inspired by it are in many ways not actually true to the spirit of the work, since they deal seriously with events that are nothing more than running gags in the canon, even though they do have potential to be so much more.
Tai Khan chapter 3 . 11/15/2004
I noticed near the end of your notes that you mention change and growth... Is Nabiki going to undergo any of that, or is she going to remain the 'cliched' back-stabbing, money-grubbing, malicious, heartless, STUPID, spiteful b*h you've portrayed so far? After all, so far, you've given her no apparent redeeming virtues that I can detect.

And when I stated 'stupid', I meant displaying a complete lack of understanding in regards to the possible consequences of her actions. You might indicate just why she's so determined to keep him paired up with Akane, while at the same time doing everything in her power to keep them antagonistic towards each other and giving Ranma every reason in the world to feel utterly unwelcome, unappreciated and better off anywhere else in the world than at the Tendo Dojo.
ReDragon37 chapter 3 . 11/15/2004
Wow. I have to say I'm really impressed with your writing skills. I have a problem getting into people's heads and providing long paragraphs of nothing but thought and you seem to do it very well. So thank you for writing this story, and I hope to see the next chapter soon!
Wonderbee31 chapter 3 . 11/15/2004
I also agree with you abot the P-chan situation. Ryoga knew what he was doing was wrong, and should have stopped it, though I've always wondered how much "love" was there, as there was; jealousy of Ranma, obsession with Akane, and just plain dumbness. Yes, I also think Soun is a dishonorable fahter, as bad as Genma, in letting P-chan sleep with Akane. Ranma really did need to grow a pair in the series, and he should have stood up to everyone more, including Nabiki, the fathers, and Akane, when she deserved it. Maybe that would have hurt at first, but I bet he would have been happier in the long run, one of the big problems in the series, everything was short-term thoughts, not long term ones.
OokamiShiroi chapter 3 . 11/15/2004
Great to see an update for this story. I like the way things are going. Ranma and Shampoo are starting to understand more about each other. Only thing I didn't really like was Nabiki. She comes across as such a heartless and selfish person. You don't take something that belongs personally between two people. I hope she gets her hands seriously burned for that. But it all ties in well with the story. Hope to see another update soon.

OokamiShiroi out.
Gopu chapter 3 . 11/14/2004
Great story.
JohnnyG chapter 3 . 11/14/2004
Another excellent chapter, my friend. I hope that during their flight time that Shampoo mentions to Ranma that she mailed him the soap (even if she doesn't say everything that was contained in the letter). I would love to have him find out what Nabiki is up to. I can see him becoming suspicious after it doesn't show up, and I'm sure she will be thought of as the immediate culprit. It would be nice to see him search her room and find not only the box and note, but the stolen bars as well. Anyhow, keep up the excellent work and don't wait so long to update.

~JohnnyG
WarpWizard chapter 3 . 11/14/2004
Good chapter, as always.

I know I sound like those few unfortunate souls that have a habit of posting statements like this, but... after reading this chapter I can't help but hope that in a future chapter we get to hear the sound of Nabiki's skull being smashed like a watermelon hit by a sledgehammer.
Maschbot chapter 3 . 11/14/2004
Hey there! I really enjoy this story, mostly because of how good a job you do of really examining everyone's faults, and not just blaming everything on one character like some other authors do (something I have been guilty of myself). And because you were curious, the thing about the Wizard of Oz attack by Kuno was used in one of Metroanime's stories. I can't remember if it was called A Different Art or just The Art, but it featured a Ranma who had been trained across the multiverse by his father as a wizard, an Akane who was descended from Thor and could summon a hammer similar to his, and various other tweaks on the cast all being involved with each other for far longer than in the original series.
JohnnyG chapter 2 . 10/24/2004
Another excellent story that I'm finding quite enjoyable. Your writing is as good as always, and the story is yet another interesting twist on the Ranma Universe. As far as the comments by Inconcievable, I wouldn't be too concerned. He might possibly be right that you'll lose 30% of your readership because female-Ranma is no more, but I don't think he is. Even if he were, it's really the lose of those readers, not yours.

With regards to the comments by Intrasonic, again I think that the reviewer is incorrect. In the anime, and even the manga in fact, there are many ways to interpret Shampoo's character. It's possible to treat her like a ditzy bimbo who is only pursuing Ranma because of her laws, or as someone who is genuinely in love with Ranma and has a thoughtful, reflective side. The point is, we don't see enough of what's going on inside her head to be sure. That's part of what makes fanfiction so fun, being able to delve into the characters, as well as gauge how they'll react to different things. As far as Taro goes, I think that if he wasn't in his cursed form, and she managed to get the drop on him, she wouldn't have any problems administering the Xi Fang Gao.

Anyhow, keep up the good work. Please put out another chapter soon, it's already been two months. :-)

~JohnnyG

P.S. This isn't White Rose anymore, so no more multiple pairings. OK? :-) Let Sham-Chan have Ranma all to herself this time.
Intrasonic chapter 2 . 10/6/2004
Thus far, very, very nice.

As far as new curse ideas go, a falcon is a fantastic avenue to explore, and so far you're not letting me down. So... Any chance of getting a display of falconry/duck-hunting in the near future? I can only hope.

One thing that really stood out for me though, is that the pro-Shampoo bias is _really_ coming out strong in this story. Much more so than Nocturne, which is saying quite a bit. Whether intentional or not, Shampoo seems to be portrayed as an amazingly rational, generous, self-sacrificing person who's actions are firmly backed up by logic and benevolence. Not to mention the idea of her single-handedly facing down Tarou (Even in the anime)? Eh, it's your story, but the preferential treatment seems just a little blatant this time around.

I like the direction you're going with Akane. Her little soliloquey sounds like it has a lot of potential to go places, and I'm of the opinion that it's quite in character for her. Looking forward to seeing where you go with her.

I'm also rather curious as to what's going to happen with Ryouga, as he deals with his new curse. As you've labelled this story as introspective(on Florestica), I'd be interested to see his thoughts going somewhere beyond the standard 'This is all Ranma's fault' theme.

Anyway, definitely looking forward to more chapters.
She-Wolf chapter 2 . 10/3/2004
Wonderful story! Your writing really flows- the characterizations are all right-on, the situations, complications and problems all believable, and the story very well presented. There aren't a lot of Shampoo/ Ranma stories out there, but I can see this one becoming among the best. Definitely a great read, and one I hope to see more of in the future!
Inconcievable chapter 1 . 9/19/2004
Dissapointed at the loss of Ranma-chan?

Man are you ever making an understatement. Removing the female Ranma you immidiatelly loos atleast about 35% of all your readers even if your story and writing is the best thing since sliced cheese. I say atleast because I believe the number is far greater bordering on 60% but I don't wanna scare you.

Anyways I agree with you that Ranma would get rid of his curse was he given the chance, but as the author it was you that gave him that chance and thus any effects thereafter was something you concieved.

I really don't feel like reading the rest of your story now that Ranma-chan is no more.. but I will nonetheless hoping against all hopes that you bring her back. Just because Ranma has been cured doesn't mean he can't become cursed with the same curse days later..
that-fan chapter 2 . 9/3/2004
So far you've done a very good job of making this story believable. You don't see too many Shampoo & Ranma stories and even fewer good ones (despite the fact R&S is my favorite coupling). I am waiting to see what will happen next and the only problem I can see so far is the ammount of time between your first and second update. I hope you can get the next part out more quickly even if it is shorter.
211 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 9 10 11 12 13 14 .. Last Next »