|Reviews for Tamper with Time|
| Guest chapter 3 . 5/28
It's just so confusing and your use of punctuation and grammar is awful :/ I was really excited for this story when I read the description but it just turned out to be a massive disappointment.
| Guest chapter 2 . 1/16
That was confusing.
| here again chapter 32 . 12/10/2014
It was very mesmerising fic..I loved it
| DawnScarlet19610 chapter 11 . 5/6/2012
Why are all the Blacks in the same class? They aren't the same ages, you dumbass. Regulus is Sirius' younger brother and Narcissa is younger than Bellatrix. Classes go by year, year goes by age, and since they are not all the same age, they should not be in the same class. You make so many small and important mistakes. I try to ignore them, but they keep leaping out at me. It's so bloody annoying. I can't read your story anymore. It's pretty long too. The idea is good, but you really need to fix it up if you want to have more the 200 reviews.
| DawnScarlet19610 chapter 10 . 5/6/2012
Lucius Malfoy was in his fifth year when the Marauders, Lily and Snape were in their first year. He wouldn't still be in school at this time.
| DawnScarlet19610 chapter 5 . 5/5/2012
Remus' middle name is John after his father. Why does Cho have a Chinese name if she looks like Umbridge, who is definitely not Chinese?
| The-Sirusly-Serious chapter 2 . 3/29/2012
Very interesting plot and opening, but if I may suggest a few things to help improve your writing?
Try cleaning up your grammar and the way you write things. Use a lot less repetition and "...". Used on occasion, it can work well, but used too much is extremely annoying, because it implies an irregular speech pattern. A normal person wouldn't pause...after every...word or so...like this. Also, when you write dialogue, space it out and make it clear who said what, but again don't be repetitive. Ex:
"Have you seen Harry?" Ron asked.
Hermione replied, "No, I haven't seen him all day."
"Do you, do you think he's all right?" Ron asked in a troubled voice.
"Of course," Hermione began, "He's Harry Potter. Why would you think he isn't?"
Just a few things to think on.
| GoneForever212 chapter 10 . 3/18/2012
This was as far as I could push myself to read. Your dialogs ... please fix them. As far as the story goes, why Cho? I feel you could easily cut her from the story and she wouldn't be missed.
| Delicious darkness chapter 9 . 9/17/2011
I like this story so far, but I find it very difficult to follow the dialogue.
No offence, but I think it would be easier to read if you separated the lines like this:
"Hi, my name is Josh" said Josh shyly
"Nice to meet you Josh!" said Michael happily
"What do you think about the Harry Potter Series?" asked Michael
"I love them!" answered Josh
"You do?" Michael asked
"Yes!" Grinned Josh
"Hi, my name is Josh" "Nice to meet you Josh!" "What do you think about the Harry Potter Series?" "I love them!" "You do?" "Yes!"
Besides that, I enjoyed reading your story. I am sure it will be an interesting and fantastic story. But I find it too hard to follow the plot to continue.
Anyways, good job! It is not easy to write stories in fanfiction and I admire your ideas and the work you have done.
| Diannika chapter 22 . 5/9/2011
Tonks was a seventh year harrys first... (from hplexicon tonks,nymphadora article-Hogwarts
House:Hufflepuff (JKR), 1984-1991) as for bill, (james article-HOGWARTS
Years:1971 - 1978.) (bill article-Hogwarts: Gryffindor, 1982; Prefect, 1987; Head Boy,
1989) Bill started school the year after the maurader era ended for good (halloween '81 was the end of the marauder era as one died, one was thought to have died, one was in azkaban for a betrayal he didnt have part in, and one ran away from the memories)
| Diannika chapter 1 . 5/8/2011
and here i thought my obsessive unnatural love affair with '...' was bad...lol
| PhoenixRe chapter 8 . 4/16/2010
A classic time-paradox as far as time traveling stories go. Quite nice so far. However what's with all the ...'s. It confuses more the already confusing dialogues. You should structure them more clearly.
| IdSayWhyNot chapter 2 . 10/30/2009
Dude, seriously, you need to learn how to write a dialogue. Example:
"I'm writing a dialogue", Harry said.
"Of course you are," whatever answered.
"Not getting all that creative in this example, are we?" another asked.
Gedd it? You need to separate them. Writing "Bla bla bla" "bla bla bla" "bla bla bla" is WRONG! It gets confusing, it's annoying and downright impossible to follow.
It's a pity coz your story could've been good. As it is, I can't find it in me to pay attention. Remember, the easier your story is to read, the better it'll be.
Hope you correct that in the future.
| Hocapontas chapter 15 . 6/1/2009
I'm so confused! What part of that was past and what part was present? I don't understand.
| dancingdimples95 chapter 10 . 4/30/2009
aww! snapey's at it again! i luv him!