|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Night Creatures|
| distraught soul chapter 8 . 6/28/2004
i love the story! write more soon!
| axium chapter 8 . 6/28/2004
wow this story is so great so far... great job... keep wrighting i can't keep waiting like this...wow either you really hate Ron...or this is waht realy happerned in the book *dun dun dun*... well pls keep wrighting i look forward to seeing more chapters!...
| Velchan chapter 8 . 6/28/2004
Things that may aid you in your writing:
First of all, these chapters are too short.
Second, I recommend that you find a good BETA so you can keep typos to a minimum. I've seen too many stories ruined because the author spells things wrong and makes grammatical errors. Presentation is everything.
Third, you could find more ways than just curses and hexes to keep Ron on a short leash. Maybe a Memory Charm, but it would take a very experienced, skilled witch or wizard to effectively cast a good Memory Charm...You know...I'd find a way to blackmail him. Use a fault of his, or a horrible/embarressing event to blackmail him. It's very Slytherin.
Fourth, I'd definitely like to see a few chapters that build up to a Harry/Draco relationship. See because right now, they're enemies. It's going to take more than two chapters for them to grow out of it. And I mean, chapters longer than these. And good on you for having them start the year with a somewhat civil meeting...And Draco has already stated that he hates the Weasel more than he hates Harry...Maybe he'll be in on the plan to get back at Weasel...
Fifth, after building up the romantic tension, release it into a well-timed, slashy kiss. Rawr.
Sixth, Ron's change in attitude seemed a bit sudden to me. Provoked, yes, but you didn't do too much to prepare for that. You did kind of save yourself by explaining a bit.
Seventh, I really hope this...guardian...isn't a self-insert or a Sue. You said it was a she...I'm curious about the identity. But that will probably be revealed a while from now. Heck, maybe it's the cat! You said Amethyst was a Night Creature, and that Night Creatures don't usually take to humans. And yet, she gets along pretty well with Harry...and Draco. She could be a telepathic cat...Just a thought. This thought is also provoked because of the title. Night Creatures is in the title, therefore these creatures will be a key plot element.
Eighth, I do like this plot. I'd like to see it develop more. I sense it will lead up to a great conflict...you know, aside from the Ron thing. Possibly...a conflict so great that the guardian will need to show herself to protect Harry.
Ninth, if you intend to spoil anything, I suggest you say there are spoilers in your summary. The big thing that kind of tipped that one off was the fact you talked about Sirius's death from Harry's fifth year. Something like that needs a warning for spoilers because some people have not read OotP, oddly. (I have, but I just want to protect the others.)
Tenth, keep writing. I'm sick of seeing the word "discontinued" or "hiatus" on fics that have made me even the slightest bit interested. And this is an interesting fic. Keep working with it, keep improving.
Eleventh, please explain why Remus is back as the DADA teacher. The reason he left last time was because of his werewolf problem. Because parents would write and bitch about how unsafe it is for him to be there. So you'll have to explain why he's back.
And finally...Explain this Shadow person. Hopefully it won't be all Sue-ish...
I shall put this on my favorites so I can check up on it periodically. And to you, I give an A for effort. Shidoobee.
~Vel-chan - A reader, An authoress at , an insane weirdo. And her muses, Shinigami and Ruo.
"Furitsuzuku kanashimi wa masshiro na yuki ni kawaru
Zutto sora wo miageteta
Kono karada ga kieru mae ni ima negai ga todoku no nara
Mou ichido tsuyoku dakishimete"
-from Gackt's "Last Song"
PS: If you ever want to chat, AIM me at ClaysCuddleBunny. Or Velchan6.
| Incessant Darkness chapter 8 . 6/28/2004
Hey sorry I didn't review your other chapters it's just I didn't realize you updated so fast. Hmm in one of your replies to a reviewer you said Amethyst would help get draco and Harry togather as well as another person, could the other person be this odd new teacher cloaked person. Or maybe it can help Harry get to know the guy from te shop. Hold on maybe the new teacher person is the gaurdain angel, protector person. I mean Harry hasn't seen her yet and she wasn't supporsed to show herself until he was ready so maybe she hangs around hogwarts to help him out. Maybe that way she could help harry and draco get togather. damn i'm a Ron/Hermione shipper so thier fight makes me sad but thats okay cause Ron was being an ass. Oh Dark creatures eh, I wonder what that is. Does that mean that amethyst is part of an ancient race and the current version is Drak creatures or that there is a possiblity that any offspring she has can turn evil. I think they should jus pour nonstop insults at Ron and turn him into a loner. And maybe transfigure some of his Boxers into girly pink frilly briefs(I always imagined Ron in boxers). Or cast a disillusionment charm on one person in the group and make that person throw spiders at him. Or mess up the ingredients in his potions bag so his potions gets messed up(if he made potions class, remember owls). They should send Ron a howler that would be halarious. Hope I haven't bored you and I hope this long reveiw makes up for not rerviewing you other chapters. neways update soon.
| lilysunshine chapter 7 . 6/27/2004
"Hell has just frozen over," he muttered raising his wand and once again shutting the door.
"And I didn't get the memo," Draco said dryly.
| Kingess chapter 8 . 6/27/2004
i love the night creature :)...newayz, so glad u got the rest of the Griffendorks (sry...i reely am a Slytherin deep down) all on Harrys side...cuz i reely cant picture ne of them being against him (only ron...eviill). and a lil question-wut about the rest of the Weaslys? Ginny is good, covered that much and i love fred and geroge just so ya no...(*hint hint* no evil twins *hint hint*) percy bugz me and charlie...well, dont reely care bout wut happens 2 him as much...Bill is awesome and Mollys 2 nice. same goes 4 as w/ charlie. haha...there r a lot of weaslys rnt there?
anywho! love the story so far and keep it up! toodles!
| Miranda Compton chapter 8 . 6/27/2004
Great story. Are you going to have Draco and his friends also payback Ron for what he did to Harry. Having two groups going at Ron might be interesting.
| syclike chapter 8 . 6/27/2004
o0o0o0 nice chapter xD
Can this Alyssum person be helpful to Harry and his Night Creature? 0-0
| xyvortex chapter 8 . 6/27/2004
VeryVeryVery good story, update soon
| smara chapter 8 . 6/27/2004
goody a gr8 fic 2 read 4 once...FINALLY
hope u update regular
| Sliver of Melody chapter 8 . 6/27/2004
O wow... COOLIOZ!
| Unforgiven Mistress chapter 8 . 6/27/2004
oh Dark creatures huh? this is getting niteresting please continue
| Unforgiven Mistress chapter 7 . 6/26/2004
oh good, I thought you might have mentioned Amethyst sneaking out and I just read over it...oh Harry and Draco the tension is already building, as much as leavinging everyone in the compartment drooling...with the exception of Pansy who wouldn't know a hot guy in he danced infron of her naked with Dobby's tea cozy on
| Ann Lee chapter 7 . 6/26/2004
On my fav's list
It's so good!
| Kingess chapter 7 . 6/26/2004
hey, love the story so far! as for pranks on Ron, nething that involves him eating something and turning pink/purple is always fun. also, if u culd involve the night creature in ne pranks itd b good. and remember...spiders are always useful 4 something. but newayz...keep up the gr8 work!