|Reviews for DBV Series 1: The UnNatural Saiyan|
| Guest chapter 23 . 2/19/2014
| averyenture chapter 1 . 9/24/2013
Okay, first of all let me just say: oh my God. I honestly can't explain how astonished I am at the fact that you've been writing this series for almost ten years. That is seriously amazing. I can't even handle finishing one story. You must be a seriously, seriously determined, hard-working guy if you've managed to keep it up for this long. I salute you, sir. And secondly, it's good to come across this story again-I stumbled upon it about a year ago or so when I was really into DBZ, but of course I ventured to other series and fandoms and whatnot, but now that I've recently gotten back into it I'm relieved to see these stories are still up and coming. I'm very excited to re-read from the beginning and submerge myself into the shenanigans of Verto once more! So anyway, I just thought I should stop by and let you know how much I respect you for your consistency in this series, and how much I really enjoyed (and will enjoy again, no doubt) reading the parts that I did. Oh, and I hope that your surgery recovery goes well! (I'll probably be reviewing more every couple of series, just to let you know what I think)
| Yua-hime chapter 23 . 4/20/2013
Hi, I just recently found your stories and have really been enjoying them so far. I've decided to review large chinks of the stories that you've completed to make thing easier, which is why I haven't reviewed until the last chapter of this story.
I'm really liking Verto so far. He's most definitely not a Mary Sue/Gary Stu. I like that he started out with no experience and your idea to keep the story in first person most of the time allows people to see more of his character. Your explanation for how our world and the DBZ world are connected was plausible based off of the actual canon of the DBZ world. Verto becoming a Saiyin was also plausible.
I like that you had Mirai Trunks and Bulma be the ones to find Verto. I've always liked Mirai Trunks and it was cool to see him and I hope he shows up again later in the series. I certainly wasn't expecting Verto to turn into a kid, but it was ice as Goten and Trunks are some of my favorite characters, and I wasn't sure how he would be able to interact fully with them if he was twenty-one. I also like that he kept his tail. I always liked their tail, though I never really liked the transformations (I'm not a big fan of monkeys, even though I like to watch things that tend to revolve around the 'Monkey King').
Having Verto live with Vegeta is an interesting idea. Most people would likely have him live with Gohan instead, even if it wouldn't be as plausible. I love Verto and Gohan's friendship. It's something that Verto needs as, while he's in the body of a seven/eight year old, he's still an adult in mind. Having Piccolo help train Verto was also a good idea, I that it gives Verto more exposure to prominent Z fighters as well as something else I common with Gohan.
I think that all the power levels are just right, and I like that you give the power levels for everyone at the end of the chapters. I really helps to keep things strait.
The crossover section of the story was great. I've always loved crossovers, but I've never been able to find any that seemed to work with the DBZ world, considering the outrageous amounts of power that the main characters posses. You, however were able to make all of the crossovers possible and fun to read. You gave the Saiyins enough of a challenge to make things interesting, but you didn't change the other fandoms outrageously to keep up with the power of Trunks, Gohan, Verto, and Goten. I'm really hoping there's more to come of things like that.
As for the rest of the story... I'm glad that you don't focus too much on the fighting and training aspect of the show. Obviously there will be plenty of fight scenes to come, but you seem to be doing pretty well at not making the story all about the fighting. If I wanted five chapters worth of fighting I could simply watch the show. Not that I don't like the fighting in the show, but they can be a little overboard (Namek took like five episodes to blow up, but they had five minutes). You seem to be doing a good job at balancing out the fighting and the everyday life of the heroes so far though.
I'm off to read your other series now, but thank you so much for writing this story and uploading it. It really is wonderful.
| ThatTrickster chapter 23 . 2/20/2013
| wolf chapter 22 . 11/9/2012
| wolf chapter 21 . 11/9/2012
| wolf chapter 20 . 11/9/2012
| wolf chapter 19 . 11/9/2012
| wolf chapter 19 . 11/8/2012
| wolf chapter 18 . 11/8/2012
| wolf chapter 17 . 11/8/2012
| wolf chapter 16 . 11/8/2012
| wolf chapter 15 . 11/8/2012
| wolf chapter 14 . 11/8/2012
| wolf chapter 13 . 11/8/2012