|Reviews for The PACWolves|
| Darth Playa 90 chapter 4 . 7/5/2004
I like the plot twist, though it wasn't wholly unlooked for . You kinda gave it away with your chapter title. Once again you deliver with the action. But you might want to work on the humor. The jokes in here are so lame.
| Darth Playa 90 chapter 1 . 7/2/2004
I'll give you props for the action scenes, but you might want to go into more detail concerning the descriptions of the characters. First person is an idea most people don't try, congrads.
| Pack chapter 9 . 7/2/2004
Not really a critique. I'm just writing to say that I enjoyed it.
You've got well realised characters, a good plot and familiar zoids with interesting tech.
| Spin-Firestorm chapter 2 . 7/1/2004
Well that makes it less daunting to read :D
Still hopping your going to write a follow up ;)
| Blue Flyhight chapter 1 . 6/30/2004
Wow, this is really good, but you might want to make seperate chapters instead of putting them all on one page. Would you consider making a follow up story for this?
| Spin-Firestorm chapter 1 . 6/29/2004
An amazing story :D
I enjoyed the little hits of personal atachment of the troops to their own Zoids; like Jeremy giving up PAC-4 for his PAC-1. As well as the personality suggestions for the zoids, PAC-1 being a little bit scared of the gaigantic Dino :D
You have a grate 1st person perspective, that made me feel I was right their with Jeremy all the way through.
Looking forward to a sequel, wondering how they'll fit in with thier former enimies, and will their new comrades find out the truth. Though I'm not sure if any of the other zoids will be as much fun as the Wolves and Foxes (Sorry a bit bias towards the K9 Zoids ;-) )
Ticks in all 4 boxes, Please keep writting _
| Mercenary Pen chapter 1 . 6/26/2004
Hey, not a bad storyline, but as everyone else will tell you, write longer chapters and separate them.
Anyhow, here's to the sequel when you write it, although you'll have difficulty fitting CW's into it if they'e working for the Guylos empire- perhaps Zabers instead though, or Hellcats.
When you give Katrana and Bruno their own combat zoids you mightt want to experiment with a Blade Liger arsenal transplanted onto a CW, an SF, an HC or a Zaber. Anyway, that's enough of me telling you how to do your job,
Adios, MP signing off.
| TheSonicDremel chapter 1 . 6/26/2004
Ok, I didn't read all of this for a couple of reasons: One, because you put all of the chapters to a pretty long story on one page. That makes things a little hard, because it seems like one will never finish this one page. I recommend putting separate chapters in that click-button format (or whatever it's called.) And two, because the paragrpahs are quite close together so it hurts my eyes a little. You might try spacing it out a bit more.
Don't get the impression tha I don't like your story, because the parts that I read were really good. It just needs a little formatting polish-ups.