|Reviews for Renewal|
| Kohakuu chapter 2 . 11/23/2005
this is pretty funny
keep up the good work, ill be watching
| Count Napula chapter 2 . 8/15/2005
Good story, It's been a while since I watched Mahoromatic so it's hard to remember some of the characters. Sorry if you've already said this, but is Mahoro going to be in the story?
| Pierce Sable chapter 2 . 6/22/2005
Here's my opinion for [Dirty thoughts are bad]. It's only bad once it becomes an [action].[Backhands Mahoro but hurt self]
[Offtopic]Personally if I was Suguru at the day she was hired and found the dirty books I'd say: "Mahoro, give me the books or your fired.[Suguru's the employer and Mahoro is the employee.]" or leave pornography in a hard drive than in paper in the first place.
As for the triomatic.
Rin is hot
Miyuki is cool
and Chizuko is cute.
This fanfic is great. Hope you make the next chapter.
| cloudtifa82 chapter 2 . 6/10/2005
When is your third chapter coming out?
I'm a huge fan of mahoromatic, except for the last part of season 2. :)
| Wolfpacker44 chapter 1 . 3/23/2005
your story is great, if you've noticed, I've also posted up a story as well, from Mahoromatic, I loved your story, and i hope you'll like my story as well.
| MJP chapter 2 . 2/8/2005
OK, grammar Nazi time:
"It would also be the first time since her return to x that she would see her old friends and classmates." Do you mean Hiryu? Earth? This plane of existence?
"But she was getting better, why last night etc. etc." That comma should be a semicolon since you're separating two independent clauses in one sentence.
"And this morning, etc. etc." A sentence never starts with "and." Never ever ever in the English language.
"My name is Tor Ryuga." Typo; it's Toh Ryuga.
"Junior High" is not capitalized since it's not referring to a specific school. Hiryu Junior High is capitalized, but junior high isn't.
"Good Lord no!" Unless Hamaguchi's part of the 1% of Japan that's a practicing Christian, he wouldn't say something like that. Remember, Shinto and Buddhism are a polytheistic religion and an ethical philosophy respectively.
The initial snuggliness of the Hamaguchi/Minawa reunion seemed a little bit too sudden. I don't think they'd be this close considering the time apart and Minawa herself. Seems a little contrived... but it was sweet, so it's only a couple points off. :-P
Oh man. Only a photographer would put in a joke about someone's vision being set on macro... that was nice. XD
Okay, aside from those minor mechanical fixes (And trust me, those are VERY minor fixes) your writing has an incredibly high quality and believability to it. Somehow, your minor details and appreciation for the characters really conveys a sense of real continuation to the storyline of the anime.
I looked on your profile page, and it seems like you aren't writing anymore. I hope that one day you do once again, and that when you do write again, this story is among the first to get updated. You've really got a great talent for this. I hope you'll share it with the world!
| MJP chapter 1 . 2/8/2005
How did I miss Mahoromatic fanfic!
This was wonderfully written. I kept thinking I'd have to do the same thing as I did with ComiPa: create the category, write some stories, and then hope other people start writing, too. But I think that you've done something very enjoyable and fun to read. I give you props for the Nadesico and Iron Chef references, too; some people might not get them, but little references like that really make things appeal to the fans. This was fun to read and really kept the original spirit of the show.
I couldn't find much mechanically or plot-ishly wrong with this chapter. I really think this was very nicely done. If I was to find something wrong to bring forth constructive criticism, I'd say that we need some further introduction to Sera. I'm still not sure who she is, but I'm pretty confident that she's the woman who was up with Ryuga in the Saint ship.
Also, you might want to clarify that Matthew is a collective consciousness. I never really saw much of an explanation of that in the manga; it seems like he/she/it might be a real person, so some subtle background might be helpful.
I hope this doesn't end in chapter 2, because I'm looking forward to reading more!
| TorankusuGohan chapter 2 . 2/7/2005
Ecchi na no wa ikinaito omoimasu! lol anyways, i'm liking this story a lot, and it would be great if you would finish it. It has been almost six months, but I like it a lot! I'm thinking of writing my own Mahoromatic fic myself. We need to build up this fanbase! Haha keep up the great work!
| calamite chapter 2 . 1/15/2005
There not many story on this anime well there's only three so far. I have the box series and I'm still confused about the ending and I watched the ending about more than five time and I still don't understand it. A well this was a good chapter waiting for the next chapter.
I think Dirty thoughts are Bad!
| CorneredAngel chapter 1 . 12/31/2004
*VERY* impressive! - you've done a great job of continuing the feel of the series and keeping the same balance of the sweet, the cute, and the melancholy that was there in the original. There are a couple of places where the writing style is a bit creaky - mostly, in the scenes of physical humor/slapstick, but that's pretty much unavoidable, since you're using words to describe things that are basically meant to be shown on screen. Still, an excellent effort, and I'm definitely looking forward to more.
| DarkFusion chapter 2 . 11/1/2004
This is a very good Mahoromatic fic! You've portrayed the characters all so very well and I'm glad that this will have some Minawa/Hamaguchi romance later on. I'm definitely adding this to my favorites list because this definitely looks like it will turn out great. Please update soon.
| JohnnyG chapter 2 . 10/17/2004
That's okay Bob. I'm haven't been reading nearly as much as I want, as you well know. Anyhow, great work on this chapter. Keep it up.
| Ministry Agent chapter 2 . 8/14/2004
Yes. A fitting ending. Wait... did I say ending? I meant beginning! And me; expecting hentai? Isn't your anticipating us anticipating hentai a dirty thought in and of itself? Encore, next chapter please.
| JohnnyG chapter 1 . 6/29/2004
Happy to help Bob. This turned out great. I'm really looking forward to seeing the next chapter.
| GX chapter 1 . 6/27/2004
I enjoyed it, I especioally like how Minawa is still Minawa, even after she's better. This also seems to be the only Mahoromatic story in the whole of . Well write more please I knoiw that I like it.