|Reviews for Absolution|
| Lunatic with a Hero Complex chapter 1 . 6/27/2004
good, me like, (bangs chest like cave girl) read with joy, story smell nice.
have nice day
captain scarlet penguin keeper
| Anonymoose chapter 1 . 6/27/2004
You get ten gold stars and a cookie. :) I look forward to the next installment! :)
| Lunar Sphinx chapter 1 . 6/27/2004
Yes, I see. There's too much 'and then' for this to be a one shot... This won't turn out to be a H/D, will it? Supposing you continue?
Ah, well, it was nice anyway, though the first part wasn't explained very well. The story started, and Hermione was sort of just... there. Peekaboo! Hahahahaha!
| ring-junkie chapter 1 . 6/27/2004
Please please please please PLEASE write more!
It's so good! No, seriously, write a sequel.
That was really interesting... I want to know what happens next...
| Curley Green chapter 1 . 6/27/2004
Certainly an interesting beginning. I would invite you to go on, not only because it is an interesting beginning, but also because your ending poses a lot of questions, few of which were rhetorical. Now that you've asked them, you need to answer.
You are on the edge of writing something beautiful, but I think that the one thing still holding you back is the way you cling to familiar phrases. "Now that she wasn’t Hogwarts’ residential know-it-all. Now that she wasn’t Harry Potter’s best friend."; "clinging to the fraying edges of his life, like a climber who dangled from a thinning rope. He held on, but his grip was weak and the rope continued growing thinner every day"; "She was unsure whose blood coated her feet, and for that, she was grateful." All of those conjure much more powerful images than "the bitter wind whipping through her hair," which is something you hear a lot . . . Also note that there was wind sweeping through her hair twice in once chapter. The rock climbing metaphor indicates that you can think of something more original.
I love that you didn't end sentences with prepositions in the prose! Whoo hoo! Watch your commas-there were a few that were missing.