|Reviews for Angel's Legacy|
| Psycho9113 chapter 1 . 10/14/2005
So far i loved it, i can't wait to read the rest.
| Buick chapter 2 . 7/19/2005
Hey there. I just happened to check the "other" BAA section and was surprised and pleased to find a fanfic of significance.
It's a fresh premise you've chosen here. The child of Alita and Figure, I never would've expected it. It took me a moment to grow accustomed to the "nightmares", they threw me for a loop momentarily. Not to mention your choice of name for the protagonist. Personally, I would've withheld the identities of her parents for a little longer. The mystery of Jasmine's origins could've been milked to provide alot of allure deep into the story. The early anti-climactic relevation of her amazing parents just seems to stack the odds in her favor for the remainder of the story. With folks like hers, what does she have to fear, is the impression I get. The pacing is rather swift, I'd say. Woo, it jumps months or years within the space of a sentence. I understand you might have done this to get to a more interesting time in her life, but it seems like that swift pace is maintained in chapter 2 and what I read of 3. I think this speed handicaps your story in that it reduces all of her obstacles and difficulties to just minor inconveniences. Every problem is resolved so quickly, it seems. And also, it doesn't really allow the personality of Jasmine to be expressed. It's almost as if chapter 2 is a list of things that she did, rather than her story. At this point in the story, I've got a better mental picture of her pup than of Jasmine. I think if you want the reader to care about her and her story by extension, you might want to cultivate her trials and experiences. I really liked your attention to natural detail, such as geography and wilderness skills. I'm glad to see you took the time to map out her travels, but I'm kinda doubtful that modern geographical names would survive till the time of Gunnm. It was a nice touch though. I don't know what to think of Ido's and Koyomi's appearance in the story; I tend to avoid including established characters in my own fics like the plague, simply because they carry so much history of their own. I guess I would like to have seen Ido's appearance as more significant event, rather than just a pitstop on her journey.
I apologize if it sounds like I'm only saying negative things, but I only took the time to criticize BECAUSE I think this is a good, strong fic with promise. And reading a good fic is the best encouragement for me to continue my own writing, so I thank you for that. I plan to read Ch. 3 later, perhaps when the various transcription errors get sorted out. I look forward to your continuation of this story. Thanks for writing it.
| Spirit of Halo chapter 3 . 5/26/2005
holy crap this is good so far! update soon, k?
| virgo79 chapter 3 . 4/10/2005
(Reviewing as best I can, not being familiar with this particular fandom.) I like it! Love the sandcastle imagery. Wise advice there, too. And the fireside scene with the wolf cub was sweet.
| Gen. DarkStar chapter 2 . 11/19/2004
Beatiful story. Flows really nicely. Keep it up.
| Leon chapter 1 . 10/29/2004
it was good but the repetitive submissions into delerios pain got old and the lack of a conclusive ending leaves the reader disapionted.
but the grapic imagry is briliant.
| Gemini011 chapter 1 . 8/27/2004
Heh. Well, I'm caught. Great job with this, and PLEASE keep up the great work.
| Attackk chapter 1 . 7/11/2004
Wow. This is great discription, and it sounds really, really interesting. Good job on writing on it! Update soon,