|Reviews for Help Me Get Back|
| Rayame325 chapter 11 . 4/5/2005
Very good! I didn't confirm it in the story, you did so there. I can't wait to read more!
| little lady chapter 11 . 3/31/2005
please i want to see if they get married!
| Faerlain chapter 11 . 3/21/2005
I will bug bug bug! Heh heh heh. I look forward to the questions though. Should be...interesting...
I need to update as well really. I will soon, promise.
Talk soon, and until then, keep writing! _
| Emiliana Keladry chapter 11 . 3/20/2005
Hmm... permission to bug you? This is just too good to be true! That's an excellent suggestion. I love to bug you. For questions: Are you going to have kids someday? (or) Will go to the Havens someday? That's all I got for now. I hope she doesn't get drunk, even that would make a very funny chapter.
| Heather Martin chapter 10 . 12/27/2004
I did like the site. I found it very helpful. I am glad and upset that Rachel has decided to go home. Nice work.
| Elf Cakes chapter 1 . 12/21/2004
Okee dokee... Ready for a bit of constructive criticism? I hope so.
I've gotten through the first three paragraphs and I already can't keep my logical, Tolkien-purist mouth shut.
Clearly, your OC is NOT an Elf, which leaves me wondering why on earth and Elf would be asking a human a question in Elvish. She may be "half", but that'd be suspicious considering things like that were more than just incredibly rare. Which leads me to the next problem- the Elvish you have used. It's Quenya, correct? At this point in the LOTR timeline, Quenya hadn't been spoken in thousands of years, except in bits and pieces from Elves in Lothlorien and by scholars and really old Elves who knew it from before it faded... Which leads me to yet another language issue: If she was a human, the Elf probably would have tried to speak to her in the common language, Westron. English was not spoken in Middle-earth. Alas, we are already experiencing some major canon problems.
And here we have another bugger or two:
1) Half Elf/half mortal? Just a *little* over done, no? This can be worked through, though. Ultimately, just try not to make her so bloody perfect, as that usually makes things much, much worse.
2) Elves lived underground in Mirkwood. They also weren't terribly fond of status symbols, thus, the idea of an Elvish palace in Mirkwood seems a bit odd to me.
Ireth... Not exactly an Elvish name. Actually, it's the name of one of the healers in the Houses of Healing in Minas Tirith...
A lot of these little issues can be worked through. Simply go back, revise, and have a copy of the Trilogy handy for reference. The stone room could be an underground room lined with stones, for example.
The bigger issues lie within your character development and plot.
Explain the Elves decision to take care of Rachel, because quite frankly it's unrealistic.
"How is it unrealistic?" you ask.
For one thing, Mirkwood is probably one of the most dangerous places to be in Middle-earth besides the obvious Mordor, Misty Mountains, etc. It would be way beyond strange to see some random mortal girl in Mirkwood. It is likely they'd assume she was some kind of spy that the Elves enemies had permitted to go that far, or that she was something else in disguise. THAT is how the Elves of Mirkwood would be thinking. Not "ohh, look at this cute girl all alone out with the strange aura. Kets take this suspicious creature into our homes and feed her and make her healthy and strong again!"
The way Ireth reacts when Rachel reveals what she knows is going on in other parts of Middle-earth is odd considering this. She shouldn't be surprised because they probably assume she lives there, thus knows what is going on in Middle-earth. If she IS surprised, it would probably confirm her suspicions that Rachel is up to no good, which is bad...
Finally, my best advice to you is like I said, go back and revise these things a bit. This story might end up pretty good. Writing is a just a long process involving a LOT of revision and tons of extra editing. I also think that it would be helpful to you if you would think about the types of characters you are using. If you are using any given race of Middle-earth, be sure to take their culture and location into consideration. How would they react based on that? How would they react based on recent happenings in their world? That should help your writing a whole lot.
| Rayame325 chapter 10 . 12/20/2004
Very good! Yes, that was sad. I can't wait to read more! How much longer is she going to be there?
| Faerlain chapter 10 . 12/20/2004
Yay! Good ol' me!
Aww, poor Leggy and Rachel and everyone! UPDATE SON! _
| IwishSan chapter 10 . 12/19/2004
O-o;; Legolas is saying goodbye to her? Keep updating. And do stop torturing them!...Please?
| Emiliana Keladry chapter 10 . 12/18/2004
'thanks for reviewing' that's all i get? I'm your best friend! Sorry, I'm just kidding. It's been a long day. It's sad that the one thing elves can't do well is say goodbye. Other people have trouble saying goodbye too, including me and you. Nice chappie!
| Rayame325 chapter 9 . 12/13/2004
Very good! Poor Linwe, stuck in the middle. I didn't think I spelled it right, now I know. I can't wait to read more!
| IwishSan chapter 9 . 12/12/2004
Hm...interesting...Poor Legolas and Rachel...
| IwishSan chapter 4 . 12/12/2004
Ouch. Five out of twenty survived. That's not good. Poor Aragorn and Legolas! (I don't really care for Gimli because I don't like ...)
| Faerlain chapter 9 . 12/9/2004
YOU WATCHED NED KELLY! It made me crry! :'(
But it was bloody brilliant!
Brill chapter. Poor Rachel and Leggy! Aw. I wanna give them huggles.
And i appeared again! Yay! _
Update soon. Pleaase!
| Emiliana Keladry chapter 9 . 12/8/2004
I think that I would want to go home too. I would get homesick and I would miss a certain football player. LOL! GREAT job!