|Reviews for Mind Games|
| Fly Dragon chapter 15 . 8/6/2014
THIS STORY NEEDS TO BE BROUGHT TO LIFE! I cried myself a river, reading first because Krillin and the18 we're fighting, than again after 17 took Marron, and again after they found her, and again at the end! (The tears at the end were for sheer joy though) I mean honestly, this needs to be animated and made into a Dragonball special! I was SOOOOO mad at the 17 through out this whole story, honestly I just wanted to reach into your story and beat the living crap out of him!(but 18 took care of that for me) I was so happy at the end! Words can't describe the relief I felt once Marron was home, healthy and safe, and Krillin and 18 we're once again happy and falling into each others arms! THIS IS(what I feel) YOUR BEST WORK! DON'T EVER STOP DOING WHAT YOUR DOING! and I am so happy that there is a die-hard K/18 fanfiction writter like you! I can tell you adore the couple as much as I do, and(like my other comments) can't wait to read more! XD
| Ssj4mars chapter 10 . 8/22/2013
17's going to learn today. He's going learn today.
| Ssj4mars chapter 8 . 8/22/2013
This story is real good.
It gets me riled up and happy at times. When I read the part when Krillin told Yamcha what was happening I was all like now Yamcha be the smart one and tell Piccolo or Gohan and I actually hit my laptop.
But of course this is your amazingly good story and you can do whatever it is you like./
| Ssj4mars chapter 5 . 8/22/2013
They need to make a call for Vegeta or Gohan
| Guest chapter 15 . 10/3/2011
U r going to write a sequel for his and then the 1 after that I didnt like drama FF...until this my god so what krillen 17 & 18 wer out of character who gives a damn! KEEP WRITING
| Sharpclaws chapter 13 . 12/3/2010
Why didn't they bring a senzu bean?
| Sharpclaws chapter 8 . 12/3/2010
I've been thinking about this for awhile now. WHAT ABOUT VEGETA! He's stronger than 17! He could, and would gladly, kill him. Or beat him to a bloody pulp if 18 still wanted him to get help.
| Doccubus chapter 15 . 1/26/2010
this is an excellent story bravo
| Killthebeast chapter 15 . 7/17/2008
Hello Deadly Beauty!
I've read your storys a few times, back and foth. They are beautiful and perfect. Krillin and 18 are my favourite DBZ Couple. Hope you write more, then i would be haoppy *g*
plase think about it
| Miips chapter 7 . 1/15/2007
This is very well written story!
| PegasusJF chapter 15 . 12/30/2006
It's a little AU in regards to 17s personality, but that certainly is no big deal. I tell you, you succeeded in the emotional undertones of this story, some of the dark sinister moments of 17 really had me upset. I was cheering when Vegeta headed over, was a bit disappointed when he left.
Overall, it was a definite page turner.
However, I think the ending could have benefited from 17's POV, to perhaps confirm the ruminations of Krillen and 18 in the last chapter. His POV ended a bit abruptly.
But again, wonderful story, and I look forward to the next chapter of Serenipity (sp?)
ps...I need to be authorized in the campaigns forums.
| Can't think of a name chapter 15 . 8/29/2006
Wow, this took a long time to read, and I was a pretty big fan of 'A Helping Hand' but this fic truely disappointed me. I mean, the plot was great and all and the idea original...it's just that, well, you pretty much canon raped 17 and 18, they were so terribly out of character is what killed it.
For starters, 17 is not a despiseable peice of shit you made him into (maybe Hell Fighter 17 but he is a completely different character and isn't even canon). 17 loved 18 even in Every-freaking-character-is-out-of-character-but-it-doesn't-matter-anyways-because-it's-noncanon in that train wreck GT (that's the only thing GT did right, establish that 17 and 18 had a strong bond) he practically killed himself, I think that pretty much proves how deep they're relationship is, him going insane because he lost 18? Far from likely, not even Krillin can take 18 away from him because they're pretty much bonded by blood and their past, he is the only one that understands her 100%, sure Krillin understand 18 somewhat but he can't fully understand what the twins went through. The only thing that could probably drive 17 mentally insane is...18 dying.
And you made 17 abusive! Fine, if they're had to be an abusive person between 17 and 18, trust me, it would NOT be 17, 18 is the one more likely to strike at her brother irregardless if he's stronger than her, she is the one who constantly yells at him, ruins his fun, and criticizes him, 18 has had 17 whipped since they were let out of their chambers, 18 dominates her brother's laid-back personality anytime because he barely even bothers to argue with her, sure 17 gets his way but that doesn't stop 18 from complaining every second of the way.
18 crying? Honestly, I can see stress and stuff gets to the head, but 18 is eerily similar to Vegeta, she has pride, she would not break down so damn easily by her brother, she would not give up with out a fight. You turned her into a dog that when it gets yelled at it runs away with it's tail between it's legs. If 17 ever treated 18 with disrespect (which again, is unlikely since he only respects himself, his sister, 16, and to a lesser extent, Piccolo) she wouldn't back down crying, she'd yell at him and probably smack him around. Regardless of strength, 18's personality will overwhelm 17 thus making him the submissive one in their relationship (as much as he hates it). 18 wouldn't cry on Krillin's shoulder, yes I'm willing to admit she loves him and stuff, but she is not so weak that she'd become so dependent on him, she is a stronge INDEPENDENT woman, just like Krillin is a dependent guy.
Also, androids don't train, there is nothing to accomplish from it, they don't get any stronger, just like they don't get any weaker by sitting around for a 20 years. So 17 being stronger than 18 shouldn't shock her like it did, the order will always be: 16 stronger than 17, 17 stronger than 18, 18 stronger than 19, and 19 stronger than 20, regardless if one was to train for a million years and the other was to sit around on their butt the whole time nothing will change.
Good plot, original idea, just bad choice in characterization whic ultimately turned this story into original fiction. Honestly the whole thing could've worked if the antagonist wasn't 17 (which brings me to another point, why is 17 always evil in K/18 stories, why can't it be a Z warrior like I dunno, Vegeta? Seems more damn likely than 17 going insane over losing his sister to a monk) and 18 wasn't made into an annoying crybabay.
Just something for you to think about if you ever write a story involving 18 and 17 for you to actually research their characters before making them so horendously OOC to the point you can't even tell they're AT's creations but your own characters.
| Android 18 fan chapter 15 . 8/6/2006
| Frankokomando chapter 15 . 7/27/2006
two words: I absolutly love your writing if it was possible I would totally marry your writing...ok now your going to think I'm some crazy wacko / oh well ..anyways I love your stories! :D
| Dragonthunder89 chapter 15 . 7/26/2006
Hey, I read your story and I must say it is very good. I personally like the K/18 pairing myself so naturally I liked it. Very good work and I hope to see more K/18 stories from you, keep up the good work!