|Reviews for Of Fire, Ice, and Stone|
| lmc9389 chapter 19 . 6/3/2013
That was an excellent story well done
| lmc9389 chapter 12 . 6/3/2013
Man its been so long since I played the game I forgot how bad felix drops the ball there tisk tisk
| Seccy chapter 19 . 5/20/2013
Nice fic Sunny! )
| randomness chapter 9 . 12/13/2012
at "WO WO BACK UP' i fell out of my chair laughing XD
| Rizaidym chapter 2 . 12/17/2011
This is my fourth time reading this, and I must say, I love the way you switch between third and first person POV
| Rizaidym chapter 10 . 3/14/2011
Note to self: Don't read this when you SHOULD be doing something else. You WILL get caught, it's just too damn hilarious.
| ArcticianWolf chapter 19 . 12/5/2010
This is a nice story, and it is fairly well-written.
| Yuriski-1st chapter 3 . 11/10/2010
I love how this story is sad but also funny and easy on the mind too..
| GreatAether96 chapter 10 . 4/22/2010
Great chapter. It gives excellent details and I like the whole Djinn talking. Sorry I didn't review the others.
P.S. Echo is (in my mind) considered a girl because of the Greek story Echo and Narcissus. Good chappy though.
| ShadyMango123 chapter 3 . 12/5/2009
i shall not mock ur sense ov humor- it is pretty funny lol
| Shade the Bat chapter 19 . 6/4/2009
You've done it. You've completed my quest.
Every Golden Sun fic i see, Felix&Issac. (BAD WRITERS!)
You have become my #1 writer, for that simple fact.
You rock, never stop!
| Martin III chapter 19 . 10/8/2008
Well, that was a pretty satisfying conclusion. Of course it was good that you brought them together, but the way it happened was pretty convincing - and moving - as well.
Chapter 18 has this story's best interactions between Felix and Karst, save for the end. There's a refreshing honesty to their conversation; they're both brutally honest, yet neither says what they feel. They're both obviously rough-edged with their social skills, but not so much that they're unbelievable. Very delicate handling, and you manage to portray Karst's personality as more than skin deep. Felix, too, doesn't seem to realize how far he goes to accept all of Karst's accusations against him.
As I said, the problem is with the end, which feels like another way of delaying the plot. I don't see Felix taking such drastic action based on feelings of guilt that he just discovered two minutes ago. Especially not when it means hurting Karst.
Chapter 19 is nearly as good, though the quickie scenes with Felix are really awkward. Putting their reconciliation from Karst's perspective works very well, since she's not the one making that step, and is a lot more vulnerable. Her defensive behavior feels very real, and with your strong descriptions, makes a vivid image of the scene. You also do a splendid job of showing both points-of-view through Karst's eyes, making Felix's guilt and fears and determination shine clearly through.
The plot and characterizations of "Of Fire, Ice, and Stone" have a number of issues. However, from the beginning, the quality of your wordcraft has been very strong(excluding the mechanical issues of spelling and bolded text). This being one of your early works, I look forward to reading your later stuff with great anticipation.
By the way, your "review count" needs an update. 66? How long ago did you have that few? Oh, and "Prox Town Theme" is by Motoi Sakuraba.
| Martin III chapter 17 . 10/8/2008
Once again, a mixed bag. I must say that I find your explanation of Karst's survival rather weird, but it's certainly a functional explanation. Personally, I would have just concluded that the lighthouse revived her and Agatio the same way it did Issac and Felix's parents(and that's what I'll be using if I ever get around to a Duskshipping fic), but there's nothing particularly wrong with your version.
One tiny problem that I'll mention because, if by some chance you ever re-edit the fic, it would be very easy to overlook: ""Felix, what-?" Piers was cut off as..." It's a bit strange that Piers would think Felix might know what was happening.
Anyway, the biggest problem I had with these chapters is the whole sees-her-love-with-his-sister-and-jumps-to-conclusions thing. It seems like just a way of delaying the plot, and Karst once again comes off as very self-pitying and unsympathetic in her reaction. I'd expect her to be self-centered, but to decide to avoid Felix after all that lamenting about how she almost killed him seems downright hypocritical. I hope she has a big apology for Felix coming.
Felix's reactions, on the other hand, were much more pleasing. You could have had him presume something foolish from Karst's behavior, the way she did from his behavior, but you stuck to his character. Good consistency. And his feelings for Karst are better portrayed in these chapters than ever before. His reactions to finding her dead in chapter 14, and then when he finds her alive again, are simply wonderful. I love the line, "Why was it that, I couldn't have at least partly made her happy?" A poignant summation of Felix's Good Samaritan attitude towards Karst.
And I have to give props to Agatio mistaking Piers for Alex. By far the best humor I've seen in this fic. Classic. ...Anyways, I look forward to seeing Felix and Karst reunite at last.
| Martin III chapter 13 . 10/5/2008
Not a bad set of chapters, more or less as good as the last bunch. Thought the misspellings seem to be getting more amusing, with lines like "Or he would surly be dead."" and "Please, Felix; I can't loose you too...'"
I have to say that, though I enjoyed the last glimpses of Prox, Felix's goodbye to Karst in chap 11 was much too corny. It also gives the strange impression that their romance is chiefly based on Felix being sliced, diced, and left for dead; I never got much of a sense of why they love each other. Their unhappy reunion in Madra, too, is an awkward read, and honestly feels rushed.
I think the main problem is that, for someone who Felix claims almost never cries, Karst seems awfully weepy. (Actually, even by normal standards...) You've certainly softened her up from her depiction in the game, much more so than was needed to make a relationship with Felix plausible. In fact, IMO no softening of Karst is needed for Duskshipping at all(though it may have been needed to make them longtime friends, as you've done here). It's a bit frustrating, since your depiction of Karst in the first 7 chapters was pretty consistent with how she was in the game. It's hard to sympathize with her when she's so self-pitying all the time.
Still good to read, though... everything's well-paced and narrated, with strong descriptions. I did enjoy the general content of the two chapters in Prox, and your revision of Karst and Agatio's fight with Felix works well. Though I admit I don't see why the revision was necessary, it's a believable way for the course of events to fall out, and the emotional impact is mostly well-handled. I like your characterizations of Agatio, and Alex gets an all-around authentic depiction, too.
This is a pretty smooth read, so while there's a lot that I don't like, I'm finding it difficult to put it down for long.
| Martin III chapter 9 . 10/4/2008
Some improvement over these chapters... the problems are more or less the same, but the strong points are more pronounced. The descriptions are now compelling enough to be one of the main points of interest in the story, and Felix and Karst show themselves to be a bit deeper through their subtle interactions with each other.
Not that there aren't still issues there. Felix continues to be a bit too disinterested and kindly, and while Karst is generally very good, in chapter 8 she comes off much too self-pitying. Felix's odd personality stands out in that scene, too; I'd expect him to be enraged at Karst for saying he should have let her die.
But outside of all the characterizations, good and bad, I like the childhood/adolescence you're crafting for Felix and Karst. There's a good atmosphere to the flashbacks, a slow and not-so-clear-cut flow of events that feels like real life, without giving undue attention to mundane matters. The characters may sometimes seem odd, but Prox always feels like a real place.
A few particular problems with the writing:
1."The next few moments were utter chaos that included the following: Piers running..." The phrase "that included the following" is completely unnecessary.
2."...a woman who, by Proxian standards, has the..." Karst has lived in Prox all her life, so she wouldn't have the worldliness to say "by Proxian standards".
3."“I have now Dowry if I get married," There's a typo there of course, but the real issue is I doubt societies like those shown in Golden Sun would have dowries. And if they did, not having one would hardly be a big deal in a poor town like Prox.
So I'm definitely finding something worth reading here, if only in Karst and Felix and seeing them grow up together.