|Reviews for Ice|
| Childish Perspective chapter 1 . 10/23
Came here because eventually I'm hoping to get a review/beta read on something of mine. Writing this now as opposed to when my story is ready because of how much I enjoyed the chapter. Already said in pm I'm pretty new, so this won't be helpful in any way besides giving the viewpoint of an individual with a strange set of values who loves to read.
This was hard to read at first because it's not something I can just turn off my thoughts to and enjoy. That state of mind is rather necessary for a lot of fanfiction if the goal is simply to pass the time. The writing differs whether or not we are viewing from the child's perspective. The girl's unique viewpoint is basic and reflects the lessons she has learned. When the story steps back from that mindset for the most part the story is quite descriptive without being over burdened, a nice change after reading so many character introductions with incredibly detailed clothing but very little actual... character. The introduction with the rattata was very useful. It grabbed my attention, set the tone, and reminded me that this was in fact a pokemon fanfic until we got to the spearow.
I was a bit worried about the spearow section at first. If not for the rattata, I'd probably have wanted to see the spearow die to get the child's reaction. Though what actually worried me were two other things. The only natural sounding story I've read with talking pokemon that weren't Meowth or psychic was a nuzlocke comic, so wasn't sure how that'd go. Not sure I like the "(something) (something)," but the way it's handled isn't too grating and I'm sure the unknown words will gradually disappear. The more important worry was how the child would react to an actual companion, no matter how brief they might be together. She's beautiful to read reacting to those around her, but seeing her in a well written relationship with someone... It's something I'd enjoy reading, but seems easy to mess up. I'm still struggling on writing the balance between believable and extraordinary, so perhaps it is just me stressing over the trouble I'd have writing it.
Well, that's my review. I'm used to dealing with people who need things put to them gently, so this probably seems a bit too... positive. These are my honest thoughts on the subject though and I am looking forward to the reading the rest.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/2
You talk a lot about grammat but you sure suck at it yourself. A million mistakes in the first chapter. Wow.
Its cruel and horrid- this story, I mean. Ypu have a twisted mind. Your writing stule is very simple and not too interesting. There are a lot of authors you insult that you happen to be worse than.
You constantly keep dragging things on. Its very boring for the reader.
You don't deserve to review others' work without reviewing your own.
| jengon chapter 17 . 5/22
Girl ignore the those that drunk a gallon of haterade and keep updating I've been waiting years for this to update. I just hope there is a happy ending and you know what it sounds like the same guy in each thread hey jerk if your reading this don't read if you can't stomach the first chapter. I just wanna know what the ending would be like and what this poor girls actual origin is and I hope we can finally get a answer.
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/16
bwahahahahaha ur brave standing up to all the heat
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/12
It's so horribly boring and sad
| BlackandWhite202 chapter 1 . 5/6
So many grammar mistakes in this first chapter ALONE...
And so many spelling mistakes. You call yourself sophistcated?
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/20
i cant really tell whats more pathetic you or your story
| TheFinalElements chapter 17 . 3/10
I consider you quite an annoyance for your review on my story, considering that I'm quite sensitive and anything that I deem harsh will make me succumb in procrastinaton. But now that I go back and visit your profile page and see reviews that people have made toward your stories, I'm like wow this person made it through this much abuse? And he/she's still writing?
Believe me, I'm going to admit that I'm quite ticked off on how you just busted into the place and spewed harsh grammar comments. You practically jeered at people to flame you. You knew they were gonna do it. You didn't back down.
I see this as something in between brave, stubborn, and downright idiotic. I mean, I would have immediately reported all the overwhelming flames that aren't even on topic(though this isn't either) and deleted the story or something. But you...I don't get how you do it.
No, I have not read your story and therefore there is nothing about it in this review. The reason I put this on review is because I don't want you to respond to this. Don't. I'm not trying to flame or anything, but just letting you know what I think. I thank everybody that your reviewing month is over, though it's not meant to be taken as an insult.
And until next year(I'll be watching .-.) Happy Writing!
| Oliver Jasmine chapter 17 . 2/12
This is sad, her behavior is eerie but consistent. I don't remember when she got the larvitar. This world is brutal in every way. I'm assuming she hasn't hit puberty yet. How'd she manage to get enough food for her houndoom, umbreon, sneasel, larvitar, and scyther when she wasn't supposed to have any pokemon? Did she go on that many missions where she could feed her teammates to them? Don't larvitar eat stones or something?
I don't have the vaguest idea where this is going but its interesting somehow, like Maze Runner. Whatever happens next is bad and then its dealt with and the next thing happens.
| Guest chapter 17 . 2/10
I am ever awaiting more of this.
| Guest chapter 16 . 2/10
That makes me sad ;A;
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/9
Your crazy for grammar and you write a lot of flames authors hate that
| MoaKing chapter 1 . 1/30
Wow this sucks, exuse me for the bad maners man and grammer, but I made that fic you review in 2 hour, How am I going to cheek it twice in three in the morning HUH!
| Guest chapter 17 . 1/30
shut up you grammar nazi. nobody needs your trashy advice so keep it in your penis.
| Guest chapter 17 . 1/30
Farla, you are a big dorky piece of shit who deserves to get shot by the U.S army. Morons like you are a waste of space on planet earth.