|Reviews for Gods and Demons|
| Clarilune chapter 2 . 20h
Another interesting chapter. Rotewald is a cool last name. Angela was okay. I know in the author's note you said you wanted her to be less annoying. She was still a little annoying, but it was tolerable. I had to look up the pokémon designs to fully grasp what they looked like, and I would have honestly gone with grass starter just because it's final evolution looks badass, but they all look pretty good. Volcalf looks adorable, by the way. Professor Willow made me chuckle a little bit. I suppose you didn't anticipate that eventually Pokémon Go would come out with the same-named professor. It's cool that she's studying Persian and machamp, but that is also very specific and I want to know why. The machoke was an intriguing inclusion, and I'm looking forward to seeing how he plays out in the story. The writing style was more focused this time around, but it still switches between characters slightly.
One note: I can tolerate perspective switches to a degree, but I cannot stand tense switches. If you have one chapter in one tense and then switch to the other tense in the following chapter...eh. I don't like it. Consider sticking completely to one tense.
Otherwise, good chapter.
| Clarilune chapter 1 . 20h
I'm pretty sure I found you and your story on tumblr and that I saw your illustrations of it there. You're a pretty good artist and also hella ambitious to be making your own pokémon designs.
Anyway, this seems interesting. I'm not usually fond of reading original-region stories just because they usually have massive info-overload so that readers can understand the world that the author creates. You did a decent job of explaining the region and supplying enough description so that I could visualize it without necessarily overwhelming me. So much thanks for that.
Your writing style is interesting. With how you were describing things and how the views change, it made me think you were trying to treat it like it's a movie trailer of sorts. That was the vibe I was getting up until Moriko's introduction and scene.
On the subject of the introduction, I liked it. I like that you're writing in present tense over past tense. I got a little distracted when it was transitioning to the Gaiien region and describing it, but that's probably just my ADD.
Moriko seems aight, but then again she's a child and this is the very start to the story. I'll definitely have to look up your illustrations of the pokémon since it's a little hard to visualize the pokémon as is. The open-ended, omniscient sharing of perspectives might throw me off a little bit. I'm used to a chapter following a specific character's perspective, and already I feel a little unnerved by it, but something tells me if you've been working on this story and revising it since 2004 that it's worth my time to read it.
Ordinarily, I comb through the chapter of a story and point out very specific sentences or parts that I like or didn't like, but this story is fairly developed already, and if I did that for every chapter, it would take me forever to get through this. For now, I'll stick to commenting on a few things here and there, and then settle for giving my usual treatment of reviews to the most updated chapter. I'll do my best to catch up.
Interesting first chapter. I want to keep reading just because I'm curious about what you've created.
| Gerbilfriend chapter 40 . 22h
Okay. Okay. That was even more intense than the last chapter, less Moriko fighting outright but so very emotional. I love the way you create these demons and gods and a whole wide world in Pokémon.
| Gerbilfriend chapter 39 . 8/10
Oh wow. Just that whole fight and Moriko's choice and this whole thing is amazing and wow. I just dont really have one thing becuase this whole chapter was incredible and wow.
| WyldClaw chapter 29 . 8/10
I loved the story of the demons and the darkwater
| Gerbilfriend chapter 38 . 8/2
Wow, that was intense and then the ending. I love the way you show relationships and anger and just how raw your writing is.
| Gerbilfriend chapter 37 . 7/17
Those last lines. I love them, she is not going, not the brave hero that would and I think thats true too who she is in a lot of ways. The rest of the chapter with the demons ws really good as well.
| WyldClaw chapter 25 . 7/16
what an exciting bate.
why did moriko faint?
| WyldClaw chapter 21 . 7/16
shoo hoo! moriko finally caught her moosekeg
| WyldClaw chapter 20 . 7/16
I reeeealy hope Tarahn is gonna be okay
| WyldClaw chapter 16 . 7/16
what a great chapter
| WyldClaw chapter 15 . 7/16
I think Lona will be a great addition to Moriko's team
| Negrek chapter 36 . 7/2
Huh, at this point I don't know whether the story's going to end with a climactic gym battle or an encounter with an ancient pokémon or a demon or something else completely! There's a lot going on here, and it's going to be great fun seeing how everything comes to a head in the end.
I have to wonder how the demons compare to these ancient pokémon. Could they possibly absorb all the power from one of them and become ridicoulously strong? Seems like ancient pokémon would be big targets for demons, then, or maybe they, too, are just too weak to put up a serious fight. (Although maybe if you got a bunch of demons together, hmmm...) I mean, if multiple MEWTWO can't put a dent in the thing... Incidentally, I frown a bit at the mention of that because it reminds me of that super dumb Mewtwo vs Genesect movie and the new Mewtwo they shoved into it for no reason. More realistically, though, once somebody makes one, all the knowledge would be out there to make more if you had the interest and resources, so there being a few wouldn't be so surprising. Or perhaps Mewtwo can reproduce somehow?
AWWWW ABRAM. The very best murderous metal spider. The revelation that Linden is somehow immune to the demons' energy drain is definitely intriguing... so maybe they can't get her that way, but I'm sure they have other ways of influencing a person. Not sure if I should still read her mysterious disappearance as sinister or if she really was just flustered and needed time to sulk.
On the other hand, Russel's disappearance is DEFINITELY sinister. Lord only knows what he's getting up to, even if it isn't directly demon-related. He's clearly not in a good place with regards to his judgment. The part where he was trying to goad Moriko into a fight was great and tense. I feel like there has to be some real confrontation soon, one way or another.
Quick question about ensouling: when a human transitions to pokémon form, they pick up things like the energy senses and resistance to pain that a pokémon normally has. All cool. Is there something equivalent that pokémon get when residing inside a human? Like, I'm trying to think of things pokémon wouldn't normally get to experience by themselves that they would when ensouling a human and drawing mostly blanks. The pleasures of opposable thumbs? I'm biased, of course, because human stuff seems so mundane to me. Anyway, totally asking for a friend, not because I think it would be fun to do some ensouled-AUs with my own characters!
Good luck hacking down those 10k beasts! It's far too late for me, but I hope you manage to get those word counts under control, haha. Looking forward to the next chapter!
| Negrek chapter 35 . 7/2
So many TENDER. FEELINGS. Or not-so-tender, really, when it comes to Russel. I guess evil really is sexy, huh? Is he interested in Matt because his new, more off-the-hook self has no more inhibitions and he's there so why not, or is there something more going on here? Was he always attracted to Matt and is only now showing it? One way or another I can't see this being a good idea, noooope, not at all. Don't fall for the evil sexy, Matt! He's leading you astray!
[ "Pro tip: don't worry about all that gross smooching stuff," Linden said authoritatively. "It's boring. It's so boring. Oh my god it's boring. Only one thing is worth worrying about: po-kay-mon." ]
LINDEN GETS IT. High five, Linden!
Loved the ensouled fight. Wonderfully vivid, describing all the sensations of the battle. It really is different when the viewpoint character is the one doing the fighting, rather than just giving orders! I imagine we'll be seeing more of these fights as the story goes on, which is really cool.
[ "They're dead," Belladonna said. "They were other trainers' pokémon, pokémon who died for their trainers one by one before the Gray Prince got to them. They died, and she took up their energy." ]
That's SO METAL. Love it!
[ "The red one—I heard he kills people in clubs, in bars all the time, picks up hitchhikers—" ]
Well, so far as we know Russel hasn't killed anybody... yet.
It was great how the conversation with Belladonna went from "Why would you quit? You're so close!" to "GO HOME NOW. DO NOT ATTEMPT. DO NOT." She might not act like it, but Belladonna has some respect for danger. She's turning out to be a more prominent character than I expected; I doubt we've seen the last of her.
Nice work with all the feels this chapter. It's nice to see the main cast being able to find some respite in their friendships despite all the terrible things that are happening around, or directly to, them. And I liked that moment of vulnerability from Vleridin, too. The proud mooskeg's life hasn't all been about winning, has it? Her close relationship with Moriko was definitely unexpected, but it's worked out wonderfully for the story. Dunno if you'd planned it that way at the start yourself!
| WyldClaw chapter 9 . 6/29
I looove the idea of the light types