|Reviews for Coming Home|
| Guest chapter 6 . 11/29/2014
Fuck you fuck this chapter fuck that annoying bitch and kawaii means cute you douche bag
| Guest chapter 11 . 6/22/2014
Hi I really love your fic it has the perfect balance of fluff/fighting/and even a little sadness your doing a great job oh and a name I thought of was sarutobi or the name of the 3rd hokage
| Evilcuttlefish chapter 7 . 3/1/2014
Um... Did you happen to read or watch the series? It clearly says that the ramen girl Ayame, is Teuchi's daughter... Read the wiki, it says the same thing... You should really do some of you own research, it helps with writing stories. Other than that you are doing good.
| J.B chapter 13 . 7/15/2013
You know u should have an accidental break up between hinata and naruto or something you know so to spice up the story I'm not saying this is boring this is an awesome series but that suggestion will make it even more enjoyable. Hope u consider it okay?
| RisingMist chapter 13 . 11/27/2011
Nice chapter. I hope you keep getting better. The writing style used here was much superior too. :)
| RisingMist chapter 12 . 11/27/2011
I hate the new OC. She's annoying. :) I liked the rest of the chapter. Good luck!
| RisingMist chapter 11 . 11/27/2011
It's Inoichi not Inoshi. Watch your canon facts. Naruto's second statement was messed up. He wouldn't do that. This kind of OOCness irritates me. Careful with your characters and how you portray them. Ninkame is Guy's turtle summon, not Guy himself under a henge. Nice work with revealing stuff to Sasuke. :)
| RisingMist chapter 10 . 11/27/2011
Nice chapter. Neji's attitude reversal in Tsunade's office was out of character for your story. There were other issues. You need a better beta. No offense to the one who did this, but you need a better one.
| RisingMist chapter 9 . 11/27/2011
Nice chapter. Same language issues as before. Get a beta please. You had excellent ideas for the pranks. Well done.
| RisingMist chapter 8 . 11/27/2011
Not bad. :) It was just a nice filler. I liked that Sakura saved the baby fox.
| RisingMist chapter 7 . 11/27/2011
I had a bunch of problems listed mentally. You need a beta and someone to discuss your story with. My criticism isn't going to help this time. Anyway, here goes -
1. Ewww Neji having perverted thoughts about Hinata. That's just wrong.
2. Was the bunch of nosebleeds supposed to be funny? It really wasn't. Sorry.
3. Your A/N's in parantheses are terrible. Don't use them. It's bad form.
4. Sennin versus Sannin. Learn the difference. You seem to be an English speaker trying to mix in Japanese. Don't maul either language. They deserve more respect than that. I encourage you to use them correctly and to continue learning. If you mix the two languages, be very careful indeed and be a 100% certain that it is correctly done.
5. Nice job with Tsunade being kind to Naruto. I liked it.
6. Seriously bad English! That's a huge problem in this chapter.
7. Jiriaya's pride in Naruto - well done.
8. Good job on revealing TenTen's thoughts.
9. What's up with taking Hinata and Neji to wave? (Hanabi too) Just curious. Not criticizing.
10. I hate Medic! Hianta. Enough with the stereotype already. But it is your story. Can't say much about it.
11. Hinata running off after speaking to Neji didn't make sense to me.
| RisingMist chapter 6 . 11/27/2011
Oh! I forgot to mention the revelation of the Kyuubi in the previous chapter. Naruto ran out and forgot about his friends after the insult from Sakura. You need to wrap that up a bit. It isn't like Naruto to do that normally, but I do understand he was super upset.
You use Kawaii too much. Kawaii is used in a limited way in Japanese speech afaik. Leave that to the 12 year old girls. :)
Review for chapter 6
Kakashi's criticism of Naruto's recklessness is out of place. Naruto loosing control saved Naruto's life. Sasuke landed killing blows, which Naruto couldn't have survived otherwise. I think he deserves more credit in that regard.
This may be just me, but I think Kakashi hasn't visited Naruto or helped Sakura. We know he's laid back, but he'd at least visit, right?
I'm growing oddly fond of the Kyuubi's sense of humour in your story.
I loved the Gai voodoo doll.
Don't get discouraged by your mom.
Even if I don't like some things in your story, I'm still here. I'm sure there are others too.
Thanks for sharing.
| RisingMist chapter 5 . 11/27/2011
Nice chapter. Sakura seemed very stressed. Thanks for clearing up her behaviour in the author's note at the end. The confession was rushed. You should've waited and made it happen later. I liked the fluff nonetheless.
Thanks for sharing.
| RisingMist chapter 4 . 11/27/2011
OK! Well done on this chapter. I was being a bit too hard on you with the makover. Hinata's the same person after all. But I'll glare at you if she stops the finger poke thing! *Practices death glare* In any case, I'm glad that Hinata's getting the confidence boost to confess. You're taking your time to set up this relationship unlike the other ones. Well done. I like the Kyuubi being nice. So good job on that as well.
Thanks for sharing.
| RisingMist chapter 3 . 11/27/2011
I can't believe Hinata get's a look like Sakura's. I hate the makeover. Why? You don't need to change a person for them to find love. Love accepts. Sure, looking nice is good. But I personally find Hinata adorable at that stage. I don't mind it too much. I'm sticking it out.