|Reviews for Brilliant Minds|
| InuyashaLover221 chapter 12 . 5/28/2008
great story um how do you post a story on this web site i have my own account but i cant post a fanfic on here
| InuyashaLover221 chapter 6 . 5/28/2008
sesshy and sango are better not miroku (hentai)
| zephyrocity chapter 1 . 1/21/2006
This was a very good story!
But, there were a couple mistakes. Such as (many writers on do this, so don't think you're the only one or that I'm singling you out)... actually, I'm having trouble finding a quote, embarrassingly enough. Seemingly, at random intervals you put it (I shall explain 'it' in a moment) in wrong, but the rest of the time it is right. Whether this is a typo or not, I don't know. Anyway, the mistake is as follows:
"Hello." Greeted So-and-so.
It should be
"Hello," greeted So-and-so.
"Wow!" Said So-and-so.
It should be
"Wow!" said So-and-so.
And so forth.
Anyway I won't even bother listing what I liked, because I liked it A LOT overall and wouldn't be able to pick out specific things. I'll just point out some tensy typos or mistakes etc.
A/Ns: Author's Notes.
Please, not so many. It breaks up what you are trying to say, and though they are cute and funny at the beginning, when you go on reading and they keep interrupting the dialogue etc, it's kind of annoying.
The beautiful tones ((That can mean color wise i hope...feh)) radiating ((i do know that word!)) magnificently. ((erm...spelling. wait...erm? ((laughter)) )) - ch. 4
Breaks it up, see? I think most of us know what 'tones' means, and it's good to that you know the word radiating, but we don't need to know; after all, if you didn't know it, then why would you be writing it down? And... what? Magnificently. Great. It's spelled right. Even if it wasn't, your word processor surely has a spell check, does it not?
Rushed love: SanSess.
It was rushed. I'm sorry to say it in such a blunt manner, but yes, the sudden love (isn't that the name of one of your stories? I liked that one too!) between Sango and Sesshoumaru seemed, well, sudden. Too sudden. Sure, she likes him, but it could've evolved more slowly than it did, especially on his side, since his reputation is to be a cold hearted monster.
Plus, when she's hurt, him kissing her is just... um... fitting for Sleeping Beauty, but not for Sango and Sesshoumaru. He would probably never do that, no matter how much he loved her, as sad and heartbreaking as that is.
And there was something that made me chuckle... what was it? Oh, yes. When Sango was thinking back on how Sesshoumaru helped her with the car and thinking, 'Does that mean he returns my feelings?' or something to that effect. A bit ridiculous, no? Helping someone out, expecially when they ask you, doesn't mean they're in love with you. After all, I constantly help my friend out with his math homework, partly because he begs me, and partly because it's a nice thing to do and partly he's helped me out in the past anyway, that doesn't mean I have a crush on him.
Using words you don't know: Leery?
Well, I'm not positive if 'leery' itself is a word, but it's damn close to 'leering' and since I'm positive that word is its root, I say to you: Haha, if you knew what this meant, you'd laugh at yourself. Giving us a 'leery gaze' is possibly the funniest thing I've heard all day...
Here's the definiton of leering, or as you put it, leery:
showing sly or knowing malice in a glance
(of a glance) sidelong and slyly lascivious
Sudden appearance of a character with no background: Naraku, and the strange invisible monster (?).
Without giving any backgroud to Naraku's character, and not mentioning him before his entrance leaves us a little lost. Where did he come from? Who is he in this story? We get the basic idea that he's evil, but unless I missed something, nothing more.
And the evil invisible monster? What? As far as we know, the only demons in modern day Japan are Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha. We haven't heard of the city being tormented by this nameless foe; perhaps a good idea would be to have someone in the group (Sango? Kagome? Miroku? Inuyasha/Sesshoumaru?) go home and overhear a news bulletin that's like,
Breaking news! Strange monster that few can see rampages through Tokyo!
Or something similar, anyway.
As far as we know, Sesshoumaru isn't the guy to smile, or suggest that they study together, or anything like that. Mostly, yes, he was in character, with his whole silent theme, but there were times that I, personally, though that it was a bit un-Sesshoumaru like.
But that isn't important, for most of the time he was fine.
By no means is this a flame. It's just my opinion. Remember, I really enjoyed your story, and just had a couple nitpicks that maybe you would think of while writing your next one.
If you don't totally hate me now, I was wondering if you would glance at my SanSess story(s), Heart of Darkness and/or Burnt Turkey. If you were to take a look, I suggest Heart of Darkness, it is 11 chapters, while Burnt Turkey is an AU one-shot... though... well, whatever. I don't mind, check out both, check out one, or, if you despise me, check out neither.
If you wanna e-mail me to complain, 'Hey, that's not fair!' then by all means, do. But, if you don't feel the need to complain, then please! E-mail me anyway; it's dead fun to have friends to talk to from
My e-mail is
Truly, I'm a bit mad, as you can see by the length of my review. -shakes head- This is the longest review I've ever written, by far!
All right, good-bye, don't hate me, cheerio, farewell, au revoir, and so on.
| AccentFetish chapter 1 . 12/30/2005
they sure do doodle a lot... o well
| chelsea chapter 6 . 11/26/2005
i dont know what theyre talking about but it should be miroku and sango i mean hello people do you watch inuyasha or not i mean yeah sesshomaru being nice and lovey dovey is cute (actually very cute) but still the point remains sango and miroku forever! ah-duh!
| anonymous chapter 12 . 5/10/2005
That was a very good story, so many cliffies. Well, thanks for providing us all with wonderful entertainment with your mad writing skills.
| sakuryn chapter 12 . 4/10/2005
That story was so good that my nose clogged up from crying...
| xXPrayers.FailurexX chapter 12 . 3/28/2005
hey great fic! make an epilogue thingy if this is the final ending... otherwise ...it was really awesome!
| AngelAnita chapter 12 . 3/2/2005
Hewwo, it's me again! I've finally reached your last chapter. I have a few things to say about it, which are, my honest opinions. Here goes:
1) I liked the "falling ceiling" scene. Very dramatic. I wonder what happened about announcing the winners of the dance contest? Probably canceled due to the invisible demon thing -_-;;
2) I love the fact that Sango is now slowly turning into a demon. How cool is that? It's not an original idea (I've heard of stories where Rin or Kagome have been turned into demons) BUT, I really like it! _
3) Although you complained about "bad spelling", it really isn't that bad at all. In fact, as long as its readable, I wouldn't worry about it. It's pretty good, actually! :D
Things You Can Improve On (IN MY OPINION):
1) Your chapters aren't detailed enough where they probably should be, and you have several "time changes" (ex. "1 Week Later") in your chapters, which are too frequent and seem to throw things off balance.
2) I think that the love between Sesshomaru and Sango was a little rushed. I thought it's cool they like each other, but, the "love" thing happened too fast, IN MY OPINON.
3) Some parts, (whether for now or in the future) such as battle scenes or loving scenes should take up more time/writing. (ONCE AGAIN this is only MY OPINION.)
Now THAT, ladies and gents (gentleman), is a REVIEW!
I hope you aren't mad at me for saying all those things I thought could be a little more polished. I wrote what I really liked, and what I thought could use some improving. This is NOT a flame, it's merely a blonde-haird girls advice. Take it or leave it as you see fit.
Oh, and if you aren't too mad at me, you can maybe try reading MY fanfiction and tell me what you think? I accept flames gladly, because I like to know what I should improve on.
Anyway, I've written WAY too much, and I'm sorry to have taken up so much of your time. Please update soon, because I really do love your story!
| AngelAnita chapter 1 . 3/2/2005
Hewwo! Aw I like it. As you already know, there are some spelling erros...but nothing that a spell check can't fix, so don't worry. As long as I can understand what you're saying, everything's cool.
Haha, that reminds me...I'm doing a co-op (for my high school, takes up a whole semester, and you choose a place you want to work) and mine is at a grade 1 to 6 elementary school, and I'm with the grade 1's...reading THEIR writing can prove to be difficult, but this is way easy compared to that ;;
Anyway, I wouldn't normally review on the first chapter, but I want this story on my favourite/author alert list, so I'll know when you've updated. I'm gonna keep reading this fanfic...great job so far! Please update soon _
| eh chapter 2 . 2/19/2005
YAH! NICKELBACK! CANADIAN! heehee...
| Yuki Asao chapter 12 . 1/9/2005
Hey, this is pretty good. You might want to lengthen your chapters and work on your details a bit more and not rush things, but other than that, good. Update soon please!
| Midnight Kitsune chapter 12 . 8/14/2004
Sesshomaru in a tux...sexy!Oh sorry,good story!
| monkeygirl chapter 12 . 8/10/2004
keep it going!
| dd-inu-71643 chapter 12 . 8/9/2004
cry. . this is one of the best story i read. I . . I . . I . . just can't get the words out.
, BUT wait, I can't if i tell you straigh. I like your story. Can't wait til the next story you write. SeE yA, dd-inu