Reviews for A Stranger in an Unholy Land
Grrarrggh chapter 12 . 5/19/2015
I'm surprised you didn't have one of the characters at least mention the easiest and maybe safest solution to stopping Voldemort's deeper plans during the scene when it's decided Harry should see him. Just have Voldy killed immediately. They need not even announce he's dead. Somebody could impersonate him at a trial if need be.
A smoker chapter 14 . 4/7/2015
I put up with the bad grammar. I put up with the many plot holes. I will not continue to read something in which you continually insult smokers and by proxy me. Do you truly think all smokers are feeble minded. I have tried to quit multiple times. I started smoking when I was young and it formed pathways in my brain that are hard to get back to normal. Smoking is an all consuming thing and MOST people feel terrible about smoking already. There's no need to throw this propaganda into a shitty fanfiction.
Guest chapter 13 . 3/11/2015
It just seemed like a stupid idea overall to lead a protest against the known bad guy. Ehh kinda took away from the story
Guest chapter 17 . 2/28/2015
I actually really liked this! Except for the fact that Harry is kinda weak in the end! That really frustrates me, but ya know, whatevs.
Guest chapter 16 . 2/28/2015
Oh my freaking hell! Can Harry be a man and stop being so selfish? If you can't kill him, think about the people who will die if Voldemort lives? Who cares about your stupid emotional turmoil? This is war dude! Killing is sometimes necessary! Especially someone like Voldemort!
AbyssalStarlight chapter 5 . 2/25/2015
I'm at chapter 5 and having homicidal intents towards rose. Pardon me if she becomes awesome in some later chapter and am insulting a huge fan base but until now I really despise her. Btw I randomly clicked on this fic so I am not sure, is this a Voldemort/Harry or something?
EMERALD ROSE816 chapter 17 . 2/25/2015
loved the story... looking forward to reading the pt.2 :)
Guest chapter 17 . 2/24/2015
Heehee. Poor Harry. Please update!
misherukuro chapter 6 . 12/13/2014
Thanks for the read. ,
Guest chapter 17 . 11/5/2014
Just bloody amazing. Thanks for posting!
schumi23 chapter 14 . 10/19/2014
High Chancellor... V for Vendetta!
Tamzi.k chapter 17 . 10/18/2014
Heyy...
Your story was soooo awsmm...
It is probably one of best story of harry potter I have ever read...
But y did u stopped posting the second part...?
I must say u are really very very gud in writing such stories...
So plz dont stop writing...
V realy miss ur stories...
Plzzzz come back...
4 us...
Thank u...
Tamzi.k chapter 3 . 10/11/2014
Omg... it must be such a shock for harry to find voldemort at grimauld place... nice turn of events...
Diaspared chapter 8 . 9/29/2014
...why the fuck has Dumbles not kicked Malfoy out of the castle yet?
xvector chapter 7 . 9/23/2014
Regarding Chapter 8:
Yet another issue with this fic is that you vastly underestimate Harry's intelligence and overestimate his angsty/broody/guilt complex.

This is a problem in many fics, and this is also the reason why Harry never rises much above average in other fics without massive periods of annoying, guilty brooding.

In canon, Harry does not brood nearly as much, nor is he nearly as angsty as you portray him. He's also far more intelligent in canon. Just because Harry is not Hermione does not mean he has an average intellect. RON has an average intellect. A lot of this story could have been sped up by quite a bit if you accepted the fact that Harry was intelligent in addition to emotional.

Harry has the emotional ability of a ten year old. This isn't surprising as much as it is incorrect at this period of Harry's life. In addition to Sirius, you've compounded every time Harry has been wronged in his life and described Harry as if all of these issues happened in the week before he arrived in the new dimension. This later leads too angsty, annoying to read, pointless brooding.

Harry could have been a good bit "darker" in this story. I find it unusual, that Harry has plenty of hate to feed off of - instinctive (from the original Harry) and emotional (how many people has he lost to Voldemort?), yet he doesn't consciously kill a *single fucking Death Eater* besides the one who tortured him. What's with the "stun them instead" thing? Why is he gladly sacrificing MORE lives of innocents and Aurors that will undoubtedly be killed when these Death Eaters go back into business? For some reason, I doubt that Harry would put his own emotional baggage of "not killing" over the lives of innocent families and children.

In conclusion (for now):
All in all, your writing quality is great, but you waste quite a bit of time and space on needless aspects of the story. Aspects that would have just as easily been covered with a time skip, with a minimal loss in actual content and a vast gain in story speed. Your basic character portrayal is good, but when it comes to complex decisions and actions, your characters start to fall apart, because you don't factor in time to their current emotional baggage, nor do you settle on any sort of moral compass for more than a fleeting moment. With a bit more practice regarding character portrayal and development, this story could have ventured from "good" to "great!". Hopefully this picks up in the future chapters.
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