Okay. Sounds like you live in the Midwest given the weather description. Just kidding. I live in the Midwest and feet of snow are building and that is foremost on my mind - then to see it put to words in your story...

This is short, but in my humble opinion, one of your best chapters. It holds more power and more focus than the other chapters, though they certainly were entertaining.

I don't know if it is just the similar weather, but it seems like I can touch this character a little more than before - there is more depth to him and I feel like I am inside his thought and heart.

Your description and mention of the trance-like state elves go into before they die was a unique touch that I liked very much - I can just picture him with those frost bitten extremeties, fighting for his life against the morbid will of Caradhras!

I liked this chapter very much. I think you are warming up to the story much more than when you began and I, for one, am happy to have come out of months of non-fanfiction-reading-hibernation to make your story one of the first I have read and reviewed!

Based on your notes, it looks as if you have some other irons in the fire. Good luck to you on those endeavors! :-)

Nice story so far.

You are a very good writer.

Nat

Another thing I must mention is that another strong point you have going for you is how you write the dialogue of these characters from Mary, Joe & company to Magolor and his Atani friends. Still have to the good plot thing going...still, personally, you gave me a taste of realistic and not overly dramatic imagery in that first chapter, and I'd like another helping, if you please. ;-D

I look forward to the next chapter of this wonderfully original tale! Keep up the unique perspective!

I like the guts of the story still, but I think I know what seems to be missing as I read on and that is the wonderful imagery I recall reading in the first chapter. You may want to consider adding a bit more of that as you go on or if you decide to re-write someday.

Of course, you should take this comment with a grain of salt and only as a suggestion keeping in mind I am a hopeless imagery addict. :-)

Right on! I love that you are creating organizations all over the place...the United States of Europe certainly makes sense to me!

Per the norm, your words have me contemplating fantasitical senarios!

Well done!

An interesting take on the retelling of the Silm from mortal perceptions...I can't wait to see where this is going and I find my mind reeling with senarios and trying to picture what meaning to give to the implications you subtley hint at such as, Is Quenya the root of Latin, perhaps? Are these men considered what we might think of as "prehistoric."

As I said...all quite interesting thoughts to consider...

Ah! I do so like the pace of your chapters and writing - a very realistic tone, I think.

Still enjoying your story and cannot wait to read more...I wonder if they will just go purchase themselves a copy of "The Atlas of Middle-earth" by Karen Wynn Fon-something or other. ;-)

I applaude your decision to alternate points of view for with all the information here, it seems it will, indeed, be rather helpful later.

It is also nice to let us readers in on the thoughts of Maglor so soon. I'm sure man will figure it out as well, and you will reveal it with skill, but it is still nice to have shared this knowledge.

Frogs? Hm...I can't wait to see where this may go...

Firstly, I do like your imagery and description of details. It would be easy to be bored, but you have made the tone so specific, unconfusing. A nice balance to achieve. Here's one of many I find to be a good example of that, "...It was this staircase that he now descended, passing layers of soil, rock and history with each step..."

So, you have great points on interest and style, tone, imagery without being obnoxious about it - a nice, pleasant read.

What I really think is intersting, thus far, and obviously I do not know yet where this is heading given I only have time for chapter one right now - sorry, oh yes, where was I - I think it is intersting how the inscription left by Maglor in under a cathederal, given Tolkien's religios beliefs and their sometimes masked perhaps, role in his writing. How ironic...

Of course, I cannot be sure that you intentionally presented it in this way for that reason, but if you did, it is admirably clever!

Oh, and by the way, on proclaiming that you do not know much: You sure fake it well and I could care less - this is going to be a good one (I enjoy James Rollins and J.R.R., so this will be delightful, I'm sure).

That said, I deem it worthy, even at chapter one, of going onto my favorites list.

Thank you for breathing such a creative idea into life with this story of yours!

I would like to inform you that this story is listed in a C2 group, I Lam Edhellen The Elven Language(delete spaces in the URL) w w c2/2859/0/1/

Navaer Lalaith

Interesting analogy, the dust one.

Out of all the chapters, I'd have to say this is my favourite-simply because of the remark about Bob's virtues. _

Very cool! Very very interesting!

cool, dude. i am happy now.

dude...this is compleetly cool...i've always wondered what happened to poor Maglor...

*grins* Congrats-you managed to pull me away from essay writing long enough to read this. Very nice, if short-I like what you've done with Moria and Lothlorien. :-)