Wow, good-looking fic! But it's so LONG...

*ponders*

*points to self*

Sessha will review every five chapters to tell you how awesome it turns out (because I'm sure it will, judging by this first chapter). That way I get to read good-sized chunks and you get to read good-sized reviews.

*claps*

I'm happy.

Inyhoo, an actual review:

Kenshin is done very well, very realistic and in character. His blushing when he thinks of Kaoru is *very* *cute*. And I like the merchant dude. He rocks.

Peace,

Lilacs

Brilliant, of course. And just to update you on my feelings (as if anyone cares), I am deeply, deeply relieved by Saitou's sudden appearance. *grins* So he didn't really die after all...whew! Just another little twist in your very complicated, delightful story.

I am quite in love with your writing. I finally got off my lazing butt and started reading this. Amazing, as expected. One thing that shocked me though (and you really don't need to answer this or even read this part-I'm just shocked)... Saitou is dead? When did this happen? I haven't seen much of the anime or even the manga, but I do hope he doesn't really die. That would be downright upsetting...

I don't know if this is a bad thing or a good thing anymore, to get too many compliments...considering the little warning thingie at the bottom of this...it says...*reading from notebook*"extremely helpful to use opportunity...well rounded critique...most rewarding tool" *tosses notebook over shoulder* Well, I'll try.

Firstly, I have to say...that was one of, if not the best Rurouni Kenshin fic I've ever read. I've read almost all the fics on Hakubaikou and some here on fanfiction. This is only reviewed under chapter one cause I was too lazy to go all the way to the end. So regard this as a full story critique-ish...thing. I loved the Omake of Doom at the end. Tho...I'm sorry to say I have no idea what "omake" means.

*sigh* Let's se...what else. I feel like such a typical fangirl. Good plot, good suspense, good fights, excellent character development with all the knew ones you made up. Excellent keeping of all the other characters...in character. *swears* I can't think of anything bad to say. Well...here: THERE MAY OR MAY NOT BE AN ASPECT OF THIS STORY THAT COULD BE IMPROVED. There I don't feel so guilty now.

Very good story; I finally finished it all (Heh! Started reading this on MediaMiners and went back to

Sometimes the OCs don't come out well in fictions, but yours was well-developed.

And the omake was very funny as well. (Yoink!) :)

Overall, very well done. Excellent story.

~*Lynn*~

Heh, some omake.

About what you said at the beginning, I think it's perfectly natural. Plotting is overrated IMO (not outlining though, but that's another story.) I often start story with a striking scene that's in my mind, and I will just follow where the characters lead. Of course, I always have a vague idea of what's to come in the next scene or how it will end, but more often than not the story goes another way, and it may change radically the story/ending I had in mind. Writing is a journey after all, and you always discover new things on the way. Strict plotting can work of course, and may be absolutely necessary in some kind of stories, but it's not the only way to go. Just think that Tolkien started LOTR with just a world and a single idea, and he had no idea who Aragorn would when he first wrote him ~.~

So it ends. I must say that the Kaoru/Kenshin interraction in 27 was lovely, as was the way this story ended, with flowers, as it all began. Still Yoshida's a bit of a loose thread, isn't he? Or did I miss something? Hmm, and it was nice to see the wolf making his cameo.

The one thing I was left dissatisfied with is how Senzo ended. I mean, I hoped he would still be out there doing mischief instead of being jailed. Oh well, better that than dead. I truly liked the man, I think he was my favorite character in this whole fic, the most endearing one. Instead of being a pinacle of virtue, he is all too human in his moral ambiguity and greed, in his jovialty and failings. I found the way Kenshin dealt with him high-handed and frankly tight-assed. I may even have sensed a bit of author preaching here. (You are of course entitled to your opinions, especially if you had a grudge to grind heh.)

Anyway a highly entertaining story, and I insist once again on its rhythm, the way high points flowed into each other by way of less intense scenes lending it a smoothness that makes this fic a pleasure to read.

Oh, Yahiko kicking some ass... And screaming attack names might not be the smartest thing to do, but heh, it's almost an obligation in anime, for the coolness factor alone.

Anyway nice chapter, I liked how Kenshin brought time for the others, and some Aoshi - Misao interraction as well heh. Concerning Bayushi, even if he's not the most original villain, there's a sense of pathos to him that makes truly makes him involving, so much so that I hoped he could get some form of satisfaction after all, and the simple and plain way he parted with Kenshin left me somehow empty.

Irritating as it is for me to review my own fic, but I cannot contact Hands_Down via email and I haven't heard back from IKnowNot. So just in case either of you circle back here, I'd like to head off any review/comment wars before they begin.

IKnowNot is entitled to their opinions, and provided is not a flame I certainly do not take offense. (Hell, if it WAS a flame I'd just point and laugh and not take offense.)

Hands_Down, I honestly appreciate your defense of my writing and characterisation. _ Thank you. But your defense in itself is actually a little abrasive, and I can understand if IKnowNot takes offense at it.

I appreciate both sides, and I'm not sure if either of you actually intend to get snarky on my reviews list, but I'm not so desperate for reviews that I'm willing to let it slide and sour the fine reviews that are already here.

Thank you both, and if you wish to argue the point further I'd like it if you took it to private email or somewhere other than the review section.

...and thank you both for reading to begin with. Have a good week.

Ack... I come back here wanting to finish this fic, and clicked for some reason on the reviews. And what do I see... *sigh* All right, I hope it's just a minion and not the author...

To address your point: what would I do? o.O It's strange to ask this kind of question. The writer doesn't write thinking of what she would do in a particular situation, she thinks of how *the character* would act/react. I mean, I could be a psychopatic serial killer, or a hopelessly nerdy wimp. What I am not, however is a story hero. A hero is not a real human, he or she is larger than life. If he's sick, he goes to vomit somewhere and comes back kicking. If he's bleeding, he grind his teeth and fight on. If he's beaten to a pulp, give him some minutes of rest, and he comes back stronger than ever and kicks Shishio's ass with some crazy combo before finishing him with his ougi. A hero's always resourceful, that's my point.

Now, I understand that the whole point of this fic is a reversal of the usual roles and I have no problem at all with it, but heck, we spent 28 volumes of manga and 95 anime episodes plus OVA seeing Kenshin acting like the usual manga hero, and the casual fan is left with that image burned into his/her mind. No matter how the writer intends it, Kenshin *is* the hero in any RK fanfic if you gives him a large part enough, and his part here is more than enough. So you write him as a hero, and don't torture him for no good reason, just for the hell of it, to express your sadistic tendencies, or just because you are going through a period of teenage angst/insecurity.

Besides, I already wrote in my review of chapter 22 that I didn't have a problem anymore now that he's trying to escape by himself. My sole grip was that he spent like 15 chapters doing little. (Or at least not enough.)

*sigh* I don't even know why I answered, but there you have it. I mean, I enjoyed this fic very much (until I read that answer) I stated it several times, and precised to a degree the passages I loved. Ok, next time I'll make sure to write hypocritical flattering reviews, like "Oh, this story is rockx0rz! The best I ever read!1 You are a better writer than Dickens or Shakespeare!eleveneleven."

Cheers.

Heh, very nice chapter. Misao is a riot, she always amuses me for some reason even when she's not being very funny. And the Kaoru/Yahiko interaction is well drawn, it's lovely .

OK, first I want to make a note to this "IKnowNot" person. What the bloody hell would YOU being doing if you were in Kenshin's place? The jump from sickly to full of energy was a bit troubling, as was his reaction to his wounds and how he couldn't cope with them. What do we think Kenshin is, a god? He is just a human. He also has lost quite a bit of his strength from not being a hitokiri anymore. Expect him to be taking wounds a bit harsher. He also had a cold. We don't even get up when we are sick, but Kenshin did. Hell, if you want to be a bloody git you go ahead. I do agree with you that he didn't put up much of a fight, but I think you are taking it to an extreme.

Nice fic, by the way.

/ I accuse you of writing a helpless Kenshin just last chapter, and here he's alive and kicking. Still some minor suffering/angst, but I can definitely live with it . Very nice and entertaining chapter this one, and even without your note it's obvious that there's going to be some chaos next.

Oh, by the way, the bowl thing reminded me of how he parred a bullet in volume 2, and your action scenes are well drawn, despite what you might say .

... Ok, again don't take it badly, but Kenshin's pathetic in this fic. Granted, he's still dignified and all, but an anime protagonist (or a story hero) should never be some helpless dude who, instead of actively acting, is merely suffering. I know that Kenshin tried to save himself more than once, but still it comes dangerously close to the helpless womanized version of the Rurouni ~.~

You are a stickler, I see... The "license" you took is hardly a major one. And what do you mean Saitou is horrible? ~.~ His coolness can't be measured.

Hmm, I'll be honest and won't pretend that your villain or his motives are very original. I think he comes well fleshed out and believable enough. I find Kenshin a bit talkative here, but maybe that's to be expected in his state. His characteristic insight is still here, on the other hand.

You seemed to be concerned about giving "this evil villain of doom" too much weight. I can't really understand why though. I mean, a story needs conflict, and the (not entirely evil) villain is the easiest way to go. The characters will thrive of themselves in the process, and I think that the stronger the conflict, the stronger the protagonists come out. But that's just my opinion, of course.

Oh, and "Time slowed to a crawl" is kinda cliche ~.~